U1987 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Sorry for typing "|-|elp" insteand of "Help;" these forums bar that word from Titles for some reason. So I went to a couple of bars tonight, hoping to try out some of the opening lines I designed a few days ago, (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t260663/) but I just couldn't bring myself to it; either the girls were chatting with each other or there was some really loud music. Also, it's really hard to work up the confidence to approach a girl in a bar when you're out on your own and have no one else to give you pointers or encouragement. I've never felt this way before, but I've been becoming increasingly self-conscious and insecure about being seen out on my own. Anyway, I have a few female acquaintances; coworkers and girls who work at bars and cafes that I frequent who I shoot the breeze with. To be honest, I've found them attractive before, but if we can't date, I wouldn't mind having them as "wing women" to go out with, if only for tips, pointers, encouragement and support while trying to meet other girls. What's a good way of bringing it up with these girls? That I would appreciate going out with them a few nights for their help and assistance in meeting young girls?
EricaH329 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I have been a wingwoman on several occasions. I wouldn't say you want to meet 'young women' in those exact words, that struck me as a bit odd. But I would tell them you would like a females help. It's endearing to know a guy would like some help (they don't ask often ).
USMCHokie Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I have been a wingwoman on several occasions. True story.
Author U1987 Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 I have been a wingwoman on several occasions. I wouldn't say you want to meet 'young women' in those exact words, that struck me as a bit odd. But I would tell them you would like a females help. It's endearing to know a guy would like some help (they don't ask often ). Yeah, but for live, on-the-spot support? How can I bring it up with these girls since we're not really "friends;" acquaintances at best?
East7 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Anyway, I have a few female acquaintances; coworkers and girls who work at bars and cafes that I frequent who I shoot the breeze with. To be honest, I've found them attractive before, but if we can't date, I wouldn't mind having them as "wing women" to go out with, if only for tips, pointers, encouragement and support while trying to meet other girls. What's a good way of bringing it up with these girls? That I would appreciate going out with them a few nights for their help and assistance in meeting young girls? At a first stage you need just to build your confidence by hanging out with your acquaintances or just stay talking with them. As long as you don't have romantic interest on them you will not be under pressure and you will be naturally more confident. At a second stage when you get closer you might ask them to introduce you to their girlfriends. You will be surprised to notice how women are glad to offer help. Some of them may find it exiting to introduce you to their single friends. But don't be too pushy or needy, it is important to take the time to develop friendship and to enjoy female company without necessarily wanting to date them. If you get closer they may invite you to parties, birthdays or group-dates where you can meet other girls (which is more natural and comfortable than approaching them alone in a bar).
dispatch3d Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 humm I've had a fair number of women offer help, give help (without me asking), or try to get things going between me and some other girl. The only really common theme was that I was pretty good friend with them. I don't think I'd ever ask a girl to help me hookup with some other girl; it's difficult to describe why, I guess I just like to work under the assumption that i'm friends with people because I like that person, not because they could get me in company x, hook me up with girl y, whatever.
USMCHokie Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Yeah, but for live, on-the-spot support? How can I bring it up with these girls since we're not really "friends;" acquaintances at best? Yes, for live, on-the-spot support. And you don't ask for wingwoman help from these women who you aren't even friends with...that's honestly just creepy...you have to demonstrate to them that you are worthy of being set up with their friends...like east said, work on becoming their friend first...when they see how great of a guy you are, they will ask you if you'd be interested in one of their friends or be willing to vouch for you when you're out... But to be honest, the best wingmen are your already-relationship'ed guy friends...
BobSacamento Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Sorry for typing "|-|elp" insteand of "Help;" these forums bar that word from Titles for some reason. So I went to a couple of bars tonight, hoping to try out some of the opening lines I designed a few days ago, (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t260663/) but I just couldn't bring myself to it; either the girls were chatting with each other or there was some really loud music. Also, it's really hard to work up the confidence to approach a girl in a bar when you're out on your own and have no one else to give you pointers or encouragement. I've never felt this way before, but I've been becoming increasingly self-conscious and insecure about being seen out on my own. Anyway, I have a few female acquaintances; coworkers and girls who work at bars and cafes that I frequent who I shoot the breeze with. To be honest, I've found them attractive before, but if we can't date, I wouldn't mind having them as "wing women" to go out with, if only for tips, pointers, encouragement and support while trying to meet other girls. What's a good way of bringing it up with these girls? That I would appreciate going out with them a few nights for their help and assistance in meeting young girls? If there is one thing I have learned about bars is that one of the most powerful tools are the bartenders. There basic job is to keep you happy. Try to get to know your bartender at a place where there is a good amount of talent showing up. Once you have established that connection then whenever you go there it's not like your there alone because you can always shoot the **** with the bartender. Wing women...not a great idea. I mean what do you do when you finally get a shot at a woman at a bar? Ditch your wing woman? That is not going to fly. Now a group setting could work. Personally I would establish a good bar, find a decent bartender that knows what their doing and then try to arrange for your coworkers to meet up on a Friday.
Cee Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I think your wing woman idea is great. Having women (or men) friends who like to go out and socialize is helpful. Approaching these acquaintances is good dating practice. Platonic and romantic communication is similar. It's about building rapport and connection. Here's an opener... "You are such a funny, social person. How about we get a group together and do that happy hour at X place this week. Or let's go dancing at Y club. I'd like to meet more people and get out more." And then keep inviting people out & then they will start to invite you out too. A wing woman helped me on Friday. She introduced me to an acquaintance of hers at a small club. And, whoa, this guy and I really hit it off. The guy told me later that our friend said some really nice things about me. A wing woman isn't a miracle worker, just a person to introduce you around and generate conversations and good feeling. Have fun.
Author U1987 Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 Yes, for live, on-the-spot support. And you don't ask for wingwoman help from these women who you aren't even friends with...that's honestly just creepy...you have to demonstrate to them that you are worthy of being set up with their friends...like east said, work on becoming their friend first...when they see how great of a guy you are, they will ask you if you'd be interested in one of their friends or be willing to vouch for you when you're out... But to be honest, the best wingmen are your already-relationship'ed guy friends... All of my friends have graduated and moved away. I really don't know anyone on campus anymore. And besides, even if they were back, a few of them were able to get me into parties and keggers and such, but still, most of them were really awkward around girls. Some of those guys were the types that went months or years without a date, had only 1 or 2 girlfriends their whole lives or still virgins in their 20s.
Author U1987 Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 If there is one thing I have learned about bars is that one of the most powerful tools are the bartenders. There basic job is to keep you happy. Try to get to know your bartender at a place where there is a good amount of talent showing up. Once you have established that connection then whenever you go there it's not like your there alone because you can always shoot the **** with the bartender. I know a lot of the staff at most of the venues I hang out at, and not crummy dives either but the more upscale places, and still, shooting the breeze with them (as well as being seen shooting the breeze with them) hasn't gotten me in with any female bystanders. Why is that? Wing women...not a great idea. I mean what do you do when you finally get a shot at a woman at a bar? Ditch your wing woman? Ask her to join us, or at least, just be seen with a wingwomen. Women automatically feel an attraction for guys if they see him with a pretty woman already; I guess it activates the jealousy or competitive-drive in them.
Author U1987 Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 I guess here's a list of what I want and why I want it... 1) Someone to be seen (by other women) with, so as to stimulate a sense of competition in girls I'm interested in talking to. 2) Someone to dare, challenge and possibly even threaten me into talking to other girls. This is something that is, believe it or not, really hard to self-motivate. There's nothing like the promise of a free drink from your buds or the threat of being called a "pussy" or being left without ride to get you to chat up a girl you don't know in a bar. 3) Someone to practice with and exchange ideas with, for conversation topics and threads. 4) Someone to take note of and judge my body language, posture, voice intonation, etc. 5) Someone to take over the conversation when an awkward silence comes up and I have to take a moment to think of something funny, witty or interesting to say. I think that's pretty reasonable. Right?
dispatch3d Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I guess here's a list of what I want and why I want it... 1) Someone to be seen (by other women) with, so as to stimulate a sense of competition in girls I'm interested in talking to. 2) Someone to dare, challenge and possibly even threaten me into talking to other girls. This is something that is, believe it or not, really hard to self-motivate. There's nothing like the promise of a free drink from your buds or the threat of being called a "pussy" or being left without ride to get you to chat up a girl you don't know in a bar. 3) Someone to practice with and exchange ideas with, for conversation topics and threads. 4) Someone to take note of and judge my body language, posture, voice intonation, etc. 5) Someone to take over the conversation when an awkward silence comes up and I have to take a moment to think of something funny, witty or interesting to say. I think that's pretty reasonable. Right? Dude, the two girls I used to know did ridiculous things. One time I was there and she just said, who do you want to go out with/would you go out with. I was like ahhh those girls, so they actually went into the group and asked whose single and set me up with that girl. Another time I somehow ended up dancing with 4 other women. It's hard to explain in words, more just pictures etc. haha.
Duckduckgoose Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Get to know those acquaintances a little better before asking them to be your wing woman. After they know you some more pop that idea to them.
joeLove Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I think if you are looking for a relationship, then you need to spend more time to get to know the girls and they will naturally bring you to their single friends... And if you don't have guy friends to hang out with, see if you can make friends from the gym or some sport of if u in college, from class ... or something else ... find a hobby and make friends through hobby
Author U1987 Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 Dude, the two girls I used to know did ridiculous things. One time I was there and she just said, who do you want to go out with/would you go out with. I was like ahhh those girls, so they actually went into the group and asked whose single and set me up with that girl. Another time I somehow ended up dancing with 4 other women. It's hard to explain in words, more just pictures etc. haha. ... ... ... okay... ... ...
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