UK4ever Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 So i had a relationship that lasted one year and a half. I'm 19 and she is 18. We broke up several times. One day i cheated on her and was the biggest mistake of my life. I confessed to her two months after i cheated and i told her i regret it so bad and i cried (yea i cried so what) . But yea She told me it hurts but everything was going to be alright because it was our bad times. So i felt relieved when she said that. She told me just promise me you will never do it again. Of course i promised her. After two good lovely weeks after I confessed to her we argued for a week straight over some dumb little things. Before the first day we had argued she got walked home by some guy from school because she had no ride and I was at school ( I was told by someone). After a week straight of arguing i told myself i wanted to stop arguing because it was stressing the both of us. That same day she was trying to break up with me but she was crying because she didn't want to hurt me with the break up . also she brought out the day i cheated on her but with anger but I begged not to leave me and she stayed . She said "Aww I'm just kidding I love you" and I was like what the f--k. Then she said she was just playing she couldn't leave everything behind because we have been through too much with me already. She then said at least i know you really love me and kept on telling me I love you. the next day i stressed her out even though i wasn't trying to so i don't know what happen there. After that things start going downhill. I will tell her I love you but she wouldn't say it back. We then broke up with me a week later because she was thinking about everything that I had done supposedly, but this was right after she hanged out with the guy ( I was told) so she wanted time and space and I got really depressed .She said I could still go prom with her and i was like alright ! The next few days i heard she was talking to someone else and that was the guy who walked her home from school. I don't know what i was thinking. I guess the jealousy kicked in but i confronted her and she did a face like oh sh-t how does he know, but she said it was only a friend. Then we later text and she told me she just doesn't feel the same anymore about me and that me cheating got her depressed and didn't know if things will ever be the same. I tried my best to get her back even told her i did a confession to my priest that what i did and told her i only wanted her and only her, she said she will think about us. During the time she was thinking about it i made a mistake and called her because i didn't like what i was seeing on her Facebook (Shaking my head at myself) and pretty much didn't turn out well. She told me to move on but with anger' but i still text her the next day and it was like nothing had happened. We were flirting, but then i started talking about the break up with her and it got her mad and told me to move on. Then the next day it was like nothing had happened we flirted again. Then i didn't contact her for a week and a half. I told her I love you and i miss you in a text after not contacting her after that period of time and I didn't get a response but wasn't expecting one either. Next few days she got with the guy. I was like what the f--k but yea it has been a month since she has been with the guy. She seems very happy with him. Oh yeah two months since our break up. Also i have her Facebook password because I asked for it and she gave it to me but its like she forgot but she should know i have it because she had asked me if I be getting on it. (this was two days before we broke up.).I don't know if that means anything because she did change her password several times when were going out I'm just tired of over analyzing everything but what do you think is going on? Do you think she just doesn't care anymore or is there still a chance? She said she doesn't trust me anymore.Do you guys really believe there is trust issues that she has left me or is it because she just into this guy right now or both? Maybe it's just me not accepting whats going on.I felt like i haven't took full responsibility of me cheating so I feel like i should call her and tell her.I don't know though. I feel like I'm just going bother her.I did learn a lot from this experience.They say once a cheater always cheater. Naw forget that. I don't want to go through this anymore. So much guilt and I still feel it now. I also pressure into doing things she didn't want to do (shaking my head). I feel disgusted at myself for all this. Maybe she thought that's all i wanted. Also want to apologize to her for that too.Live and Learn. What are ya thoughts on this?
D78 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 People who reconcile with those who have cheated on them are very strong. I tried to do that once, and I guess I was still angry even though I thought I had forgiven him. So, once a cheater always a cheater - not necessarily true, but maybe always a cheater in the eyes of the person cheated on. Not sure if that even makes sense, but oh well. It sounds like she has moved on. She told you to move on. You probably would do a lot of things differently if you could. All you can do is learn from this and treat your next girlfriend better.
spiderowl Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Sorry to hear it has gone this way for you, but it was perhaps inevitable. I suspect the minute she found out you'd cheated a distance was created between you as she tried to accept your genuine regret and forgive you. She could have said she did forgive you but deep down she would be hurting and mulling things over. To protect herself from feeling hurt, she would have shut down her feelings, the good ones and the bad ones. This blocking of feelings means she can't feel much for you and was probably feeling confused herself. It is in this sort of state of uncertainty, confusion and hurt that people start to do odd things - like talking to that guy who showed interest in them and who hadn't cheated on them. Unfortunately, I think your ex told you what the problem was. She can't trust you any more. Even if you are genuine and won't cheat on her again, she doesn't think she can believe it and it will always be there between you. I do think the other guy is incidental in that he got his opportunity because things were falling apart with you. I'm sorry it's gone this way, especially as you are both young and you probably had no idea of the consequences of your actions. It's a hard lesson, I know.
TaraMaiden Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Congratulations and thanks, for posting this again. The problem is, she never forgave you. And I think, much as you both seemed to not want it to be, that marked the true end of things. And if you'll excuse me saying, if you are in the UK, and you mention the term 'school' it's a different reference to the 'school' to America. My guess would be that you are both under 18. I could be wrong. But if I'm right (and that is the proviso), then you are both (when it comes to love, emotions, jealousy, and everything else to do with relationships), very inexperienced and unsure of yourselves. I hate to say it, but this relationship is not, and never will be the be-all-and-end-all of relationships. I think you need to put this down to experience. be mature and tell her to change her password. Then focus on your mates, don't diss her infornt of others, and concentrate on you. Another romance will come along. But take it one day at a time, focus on enjoying your life, and - don't ever think cheating is the way to go. if you want to cheat, don't be in a relationship. And if you have sex - wear protection. Good luck.
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