IFDDS Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Alright need some help here, so gonna try cutting it short: This girl digs me in the spring, I kinda liked her too but didn't do anything about it until summer. Asked her out 3 times and whatnot. She didn't do anything major, only kept in contact through facebook. So I just asked her does she just wanna be friends or what. She gave the "I don't know what I want"-phrase. She had never been with anyone, she's seriously hot though. So I kinda let it be a couple of weeks, but she didn't contact me or anything. I tried talking it out, but the same I don't know-stuff. So I got a bit frustrated and gave her a kinda of ultimatum, take me or leave me with a time limit. Immature yeah. So then after the weekend she said she wanted to be with me after me being a bit stubborn with my time-limit, but yeah we were together then. But I broke up with her after a week (stupid:laugh:), she was cold at school and some rumours got to my ears that really messed me up. I asked if she was 100% sure about this, she said she wasn't and I on the other hand was 100%. So after a week of a totally messed up head I asked if we could give it another shot, clean slate. She said after the exams, we had 3 weeks of important exams. So I thought cool then, after the exams. But the situation was spinning in my head all the time, and I had to just shove it out of my head to get sleep and concentrate on my exams. I literally had to force myself not to think about it at all, and something happened so that I kinda lost feelings for this girl. I felt absolutely nothing when I saw her at school, really weird. And it wasn't really my fault, it just happened. But we talked about it, I told her I don't know if I like her anymore. So we decided being friends, I got home, totally messed up and all my feelings come rushing back again. Great situation then? So we meet up next week, I come forward that my feelings are the same, that I still like her. Called her after meeting her just to say I really like her still, and want to be with her and want her to trust me. I just left her alone, avoided at school for a week or so to just let her have space etc. Next week tried to explain and asked her the next week after to meet me. I just explained that I really do like her still, and my head just got so messed during the exams. She wanted to be friends. I still tried asking her out, chatted with her, talked with her at school. But yeah I guess I kinda killed it, but it wasn't my fault that I lost feelings for 1,5 weeks:confused:? It's been 3,5 months since the " I lost feelings "-case, and I'm still to get over her. I guess because it all went downhill, I messed the whole thing up, and it all got messed up because of something that wasn't even my fault. I know I'm in a situation where this girl doesn't feel so strongly about me, then why am I having such a hard time forgetting about this all? When I'm at the club with my friends, she's all the time on my mind, and I keep going through the same stuff over and over again. I'm stuck in a serious rut, and I don't know how to get out of it? I think I'm stuck because it crashed because of the "I lost feelings", which I couldn't help, it wasn't my fault. It's really immature stuff, I know. I'm trying to forget about her, but I can't. All the time on my mind. Help me out here? Thanks in advance!
Author IFDDS Posted January 6, 2011 Author Posted January 6, 2011 Hey. Sorry for double posting and sorry for the above being a bit messy. I'm going to try and clear a bit up what's going through in my mind. When I asked her in the summer about what she wanted, she said that she really liked me in the spring and would have jumped at a relationship with me right away if I had made a move on her then. She said that she still liked me though, but not as much as in the spring, and didn't want me to be with anyone else. I asked her if she would want to be with me then, but she said that she didn't know. When she said this, it gave me the message that she wasn't crazy about me. I wouldn't have been in that situation if she would have been crazy about me. I then said to her just think about it and let me know then. A week went by and I heard nothing from her. There was also another guy in the picture, and I thought that I definitely wouldn't be her backup-plan. So I just said take me or leave me, it's your choice. I don't know if I handled the situation really poorly, I ain't that experienced with this, I have had only 1 gf before. Anyways, after my birthday-weekend, she asked for us to meet. She implied that she wanted to be with me, she had said to the other guy that she isn't interested in him. But I still didn't get that screaming message " I want to be with you! " But I thought whatever, let's see where it goes. But she was cold and distant at school, which got me a bit distressed, but I tried to chill nevertheless. But I heard some rumours, jumped to conclusions and broke up with her in an emotional mess. No crying or anything, just a big mess of emotions. I realized it being really the wrong way to handle it, since I was going crazy the next week. She kept contact and was friendly and all. I didn't want to break up, I thought I just had to because she wasn't 100 % sure. I guess I can blame it on inexperience, when I look back at it now. We decided we would meet up after the exams. This was the craziest part: while the whole situation was spinning in my head, I had to concentrate on the exams. Really, really just concentrate and shove everything out of my mind. And then just something clicked in my head, and no feelings at all. Don't ask why, because I don't know.. I knew I liked her, and wanted to be with her, but didn't feel a thing. It sucked! And she was bombing the enitre time with IM, texts.. Well I explained in the previous post what then happened, the feelings came back eventually. Too late, unfortunately. I tried getting her back, but I guess it was an easy exit for her, idk. I guess I'm over-analyzing it, but I can't help it. It's in my head all the time. Every second, can you believe it? I think I'm dealing with some sort of guilt for killing it, that I could have said that better or done that better, did she really believe me that I still liked her, explained in more detail etc.. I think she didn't care enough though, and that's why I'm where I am right now. I feel good about myself, no problem. Everything feels ok, but this is like a stain on my life. You know what I mean? It's forcing me to not enjoy life to the fullest, like I have been before this. I don't know why it's bothering me this much, but it's clearly bothering because I'm over-analyzing so much. I hope I'm not gonna think about this forever, but I'm not making any progress. It's stuck in my head, I don't know if it's normal. I got over my ex really quickly, 1-2 days, but this one has been stuck for many months, every day! So I thought by posting here I might get some insight on this. Can someone shed some light, give any tips or an opinion? Thank you:) PS. Sorry for the very long double-post, but I thought I would just write it all down.
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