Broke it off today..

[Jdw_Icequeen]

Hi I have been on the second chances forum for a while. Hoping and filling myself with delusions.. He walked out on my while I was int he shower and left me a letter.. COWARD!!

 

We broke up a little over a month ago we did NC for a week at that point he came by and dropped off some stuff for our son.. After that he tells me he misses not talking to me everyday and isn't sure if things are really over.. He then says he wants to be friends so we can move this in a positive direction.. Ok so I bite.. Since then its been nothing but a rollercoaster ride.. I offered to let him use my car because he had no transpertation and road the bus for hours just to drop off the stuff. I was just trying to be nice..

 

I started feeling like somthing wasn't right and checked are phone records found he has been talking to this chick that he lied about saying they never talked and wern't friends.. She also recently split with her bf..

Talking everyday sometimes a few times a day.. Says they're coping buddies. Well I have done that with male friends. So After asking him over and over and a few fights about why she is all of a sudden SO important.

 

I tried to trust him.. After us not getting along for the last several weeks because of this and him ignoring me when he feels like it.. Obviously I am just so fed up with this vicous circle I could kill him. I tried several times to call it off and he sucked me back in.. I think he just wanted to keep the car. I told him to return it because he was lying to me and I am not a doormat.. A few days ago he comes over says he truly is hoping we can get back together.. WTF!! If thats what he wanted then he would do it.. But he is confused and stuck in the middle and yadda yadda..But would give me a final answer in a week or 2 it was my choice..

 

So NYE he txts me and calls me to chat. New years day sends me a txt to tell me how he feels like crap hungover dosen't feel like talking so he hopes I don't think he is ignoring me.. This is all after we are use to txting and talking everyday he wasn't really talking to me. He also said he was going to start putting in an effort to move forward with us.. Yesterday I hear nothing from him today nothing. Then I just feel empty..

 

I am so sick of feeling lost empty and confused I make my final move.. I txt him asking if this is what he calls making an effort.. I can't help but feeling completley used.. He dosen't answer then around noon emails me saying he tried to get ahold of me 3 times yesterday and that he left his charger at home so his phone is off.

 

Wow nice was to try to save your *ss again.. This was after my texts of just telling him I was done and to return the car.. A few emails back and forth. I tell him I am taking control of this situation and that I don't want him to contact me anymore unless its about my son or finacial stuff..

 

Yes it was much longer and a bit snarky.. I turned off my phone he calls my house phone.. He trys to reassure me that everything he says is true pls don't me mad at him he still wants to see me tomorrow.. Because we have been hanging out.. I said no what the hell is your intentions your still so confused about.. Just tell me its over so I can walk away. He says he dosen't know that.. I said well I know which way your leaning so I do know.. I also know I am not waiting a week or 2 to get punched in the gut again.. I then said look you know its over you should just pull the trigger.

 

Yet he couldn't say anything.. FINE THEN!! I then told him to leave me alone drop off the car put the keys in the mail box I don't want to see you. So and like that I have broken the vicous circle that I helped create. He wanted to call me again later I said why there is nothing more to say! He says that he hoped there would be somthing more to say.. If you have somthing to say just say it now.. So I turned off my phone for the night..

 

I want to forget about him and move on in my life.. Moving on is always hard.. Now that I don't have to relive the cycles and delusions of denial. I can greive and accept. Maybe even be a bit angry here and there.. So tomorrow I try to start NC.. Which has always been hard for me to do.. What sucks is your touching a stove.. Oh its so pretty.. OUCH! that fricken hurt.. Oh but its so pretty.. OUCH! darnit why does that keep happening!

 

 

So I am here to start coping with my greif.. If you took the time to read my story thanx!! Any comments or anything is appriciated.. HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope its better then last year!

Edited January 3, 2011 by Jdw_Icequeen

[january2010]

Best of luck with maintaining NC. Link for your new thread:

 

My feel better moment ruined!

[Jdw_Icequeen]

Ty jan that is much appriciated!!