youbeauty Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Have been dabbling with online dating again after a bit of a break from the dating scene (got burnt badly a few months back - but am now ready to jump back in!) and had a question given I am not super experienced in this format. Have been trading emails with a girl since just before NYE and we have both been responding within a day or so. Lots of banter which is great and she has a tremendous sense of humour. She also always adds that she is looking forward to hearing back from me soon. Which I take as a good sign. We've traded about half a dozen emails now (3 each way) and personally I would rather have a chat in person as I really hate the online thing, so wanted to see if she would be interested in a coffee at some stage in the next week. Only thing is that given we have only been chatting for less than a week, not sure if it would be too much, too soon, and don't want to scare her off or think that I am desperate (which is not the case). But equally, she is a stunning girl and no doubt she is getting plenty of attention elsewhere so want to strike whilst the iron is hot, so to speak. What do you think? Was obviously going to phrase the invitation in a way which implies that if she doesn't feel comfortable yet, then that is not a problem and happy to keep trading emails. Thanks!
br0ken_w0lf Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 It sounds as though she would probably be up for it so yeah, go for it. Personally, I tend to communicate with people a lot longer before deciding to meet up (a month both times!) but I just like to get to know someone a bit more before deciding whether it's worth an in-person meet. I also know that women are usually a little apprehensive at meeting too quickly (and rightfully so) so that's another reason I tend to wait. But if you're getting a good vibe and, as you said, give the option to stay communicating electronically if she's not yet comfortable, then it should be fine
Keridan Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Ask her out..coffee or something harmless. If she doesn't respond how you want, say "Okay, well, let's still enjoy our emails for a while and see what happens." Be confident in the question, but don't push if she shies away. I think you will find she is up for it, based on what you said.
Jane2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 I definitely recommend talking on the phone. Hearing their voice and the way they speak is a much better indicator of personality and demeanor than just trading emails and chatting online. I'm on two dating sites currently, and I pretty much always suggest a phone call very fast. THEN, you must realize that even phone conversations aren't always an indicator of in-person attraction; they're just better indicators than chatting/trading emails. With one guy - I talked to him on the phone for a week, found him reasonably attractive on the phone, then ended up not liking him in person much. But then a more recent guy - talked to him on phone two or three times, liked his personality on the phone, liked him in person as well.
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