northern_sky Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 This is the conclusion I've reached in trying to examine my broken people picker. Every guy I'm attracted to aside from the fluke of my ex shares these traits in common: narcissism, extreme verbal and analytical talent, dismissiveness, and arrogance. Basically the embodiment of my type seems to be a young Gore Vidal (if he were straight). I am sure it's because I was surrounded by men growing up who were variations on this theme. It's disturbing to me, because I know any involvement with these guys will only lead to heartbreak, yet I feel zero attraction to guys who fall outside of this mold.
USMCHokie Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Every guy I'm attracted to aside from the fluke of my ex shares these traits in common: narcissism, extreme verbal and analytical talent, dismissiveness, and arrogance. Did you mean to say douche...?
Author northern_sky Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 Did you mean to say douche...? That would work, but I think of "douche" as more of a garden variety, popped collar frat boy.
Seamless74 Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Have you ever tried not being not 100% sure what you mean by that but i think i agree..
USMCHokie Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 That would work, but I think of "douche" as more of a garden variety, popped collar frat boy. True...I guess the type you describe would be even more of a douche...like an uberdouche...
Author northern_sky Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 Have you ever tried not being ? Eh...? ---
january2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 not 100% sure what you mean by that but i think i agree.. Thirded. Seems there's a certain familiarity in it for you because of your childhood. But you now recognise that it's an issue. Next step is to do something about it.
Author northern_sky Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 True...I guess the type you describe would be even more of a douche...like an uberdouche... yes! ----------
AverageJoe Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Many, many women are attracted to the same attitude. So, you are not alone in that regard. Dont be a pussy fella's.
Author northern_sky Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 Thirded. Seems there's a certain familiarity in it for you because of your childhood. But you now recognise that it's an issue. Next step is to do something about it. What exactly are you thirding?
gisellefromhell Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 What exactly are you thirding? I think they're asking if you've tried not going for guys like that.
paddington bear Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 yeah but how does one generate attraction for people you are not attracted to? I've tried really hard to not be attracted to my personal type. And every time I think I have found someone who is not of that type, soon in I'm like "oh, another one".
Author northern_sky Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 I think they're asking if you've tried not going for guys like that. Yeah, I have. The problem is I don't feel the same spark for other types.
USMCHokie Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 What exactly are you thirding? I think it's like what you had been telling me regarding my own issues...just go out and do something different...give something (or someone) new a whirl...even if it doesn't work, just expose yourself to personalities you wouldn't normally be "attracted" to...you might surprise yourself...
Seamless74 Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 I think they're asking if you've tried not going for guys like that. no im pretty sure thats not it...
Author northern_sky Posted December 30, 2010 Author Posted December 30, 2010 yeah but how does one generate attraction for people you are not attracted to? I've tried really hard to not be attracted to my personal type. And every time I think I have found someone who is not of that type, soon in I'm like "oh, another one". Exactly! -------
Author northern_sky Posted December 31, 2010 Author Posted December 31, 2010 no im pretty sure thats not it... well, that's not how YOU interpreted, but now you're just making yourself look bad.
Author northern_sky Posted December 31, 2010 Author Posted December 31, 2010 I think it's like what you had been telling me regarding my own issues...just go out and do something different...give something (or someone) new a whirl...even if it doesn't work, just expose yourself to personalities you wouldn't normally be "attracted" to...you might surprise yourself... Easier said than done, but I know you're right.
january2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 I think it's like what you had been telling me regarding my own issues...just go out and do something different...give something (or someone) new a whirl...even if it doesn't work, just expose yourself to personalities you wouldn't normally be "attracted" to...you might surprise yourself... This is what I was thirding in more detail.
gisellefromhell Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 I think that this is a you problem. You need to be single for a while and try to get into new things. Re-invent yourself. Maybe the reason why it hasn't worked out is because you're not their type. Either way, even if a guy IS a douche, there could be a douche out there willing to make you happy.
USMCHokie Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Easier said than done... That's how it always is... And it's not like you have to jump in headfirst and do a complete 180 of your dating life...baby steps...
Author northern_sky Posted December 31, 2010 Author Posted December 31, 2010 Either way, even if a guy IS a douche, there could be a douche out there willing to make you happy. haha, I like this...
Seamless74 Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 either way do be sure to post up and let us know how it goes... thats the important thing... well, that's not how YOU interpreted, but now you're just making yourself look bad. hey dont blame me blame Wuggle ask him or her what they meant..
Dedalus Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 I'm a guy and (strongly) identify with your description. At the moment I'm seeing a girl who loves that stuff. She even told me about a long-term boyfriend who treated her like a princess, but - yep, you guessed it - she got bored and ditched him. The more arrogant I am towards her, the less I care, the more dismissive I am... ultimately the more selfish I am, the more she wants me. She knows it's not good. She knows I'm not good for her. And in my defence (and because I know it won't make her stop seeing me) I even tell her I'm not good for her. But while she is incredibly attractive and could have any of the guys who fawn over her, but she doesn't want them. Out of interest, do you use self-depracating humour? And would you describe yourself as submissive? My advice? Don't fight it. I don't think the person you describe is incapable of a relationship (because I don't think I am). The arrogance and narcissism are only one side of my character, and the intelligence... well, that's a good thing right?
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