I don't know ... !

[bunklife]

So for the past 4-5 years I have been friends with a girl and we are "best friends". For the first couple years we would be just friends, I would flirt with her but she and I thought nothing of it because we were just friends.

I found another girl that I liked but she ended up with some oneelse. My "best friend" help me get over the other girl. After that we would talk nonstop. She would text me. And talk to me everyday on the computer. We would go out for lunch about once a week. After a while her best friends had asked me if I liked her but I said "no". Since then, I noticed that I stopped receiving texts and messages for her, but would get the random message once in a while. Also she got a bf that none of her friends like and I got in a fight with him on my birthday (that's right my birthday!) everytime that she "breaks up" with him, which happens often, I feel like it's my obligation to tell her how I feel but I can never do it.

could someone please help me with my delima?

[ConflictedGuy27]

what dilemma? what do you want to happen, ideally?

do you actually want a romantic relationship with her?

[bunklife]

Ive wanted a relationship with her for a while now but don't know how to do it. Can someone help me this problem?

[bunklife]

I also want to note that I got a new years kiss from her before she got the bf.

[ConflictedGuy27]

that ship may have sailed years ago (but perhaps not).

youve been operating for years as her friend. that may be the extent of her feelings toward you.

 

the question is, are you willing to potentially sacrifice what you have with her now to check if she's on the same page as you?

 

you'd be surprised how shocked a girl can feel after finding out her "buddy" of 4+ years has been waiting to get in her pants the whole time.

 

check out the thread that was just posted called "I have to reject my best friend for the second time..." the original poster there is going though a similar situation. her insight may help you.

[ConflictedGuy27]

here's the link:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t258830/

[bunklife]

I think your right. I dont know if I want to lose her as a friend because we are so close. If only this wasn't so hard!!

Edited December 30, 2010 by bunklife
Didn't finish

[frenchgirl]

To me, this situation is kind of obvious. I think she's just your friend. You two had relationships with others, you supported one another through hard times, etc.

 

In some rare cases, such friendships can become more but I would wait for a time in your life where you are both emotionally available in order to have this conversation.

 

Hope it helps.

[ConflictedGuy27]

I think your right. I dont know if I want to lose her as a friend because we are so close. If only this wasn't so hard!!

 

you run a big risk, especially if she doesn't feel the same way.

there are plenty other women put there to pursue.

 

if it is truly the friendship that you wish to preserve, this seems like an easier choice. if however, you've just been waiting in the wings all this time, I can see why this decision may be more difficult for you.

[bunklife]

(I was about to post on your thread)

So your saying when she is single, I should tell her that I have feelings for her?

from the girls perspective how hard would that be on you if I told you I like you while your with someone else?

[Feelin Frisky]

If her best friends approached you to find out what's what, is it possible to approach them to ask them what's what with her? Think about it.

[bunklife]

Your right frisky but her best friends are also my best friends. They even told me she likes me but i was to dumb and scared to do anything.

[Truly Lost]

I have had a few male friends who told me that they were interested in me and unfortunately I wasn't interested back. I believe that guys and girls can be friends, but I haven't dismissed the possibility that a guy is hanging out with me because he likes me. I'm sure she suspects that you are interested in her.

 

I am still friends with nearly all the guy friends that told me they were interested. I will admit that it did cause some distance with some and one guy said he had to remove himself from the situation because he couldn't just be friends. That made me really sad, but my feelings were not going to change.

 

I don't want to tell you that she will shoot you down, but she is with another guy right now, so her feelings and thoughts are focused on him. In your situation, she really has to be the one to start batting her lashes at you. So once she and her loser boyfriend break up for good (believe me...it will happen), then you can move in, but delicately. You don't want to risk losing her by coming on too strong. You don't know what she will say. You might want to thrown in there that if it's not meant to be then you are perfectly happy being her friend (provided that is true).

 

The goal for you here is to let her know how you feel, and if she doesn't reciprocate then at least you two can remain friends.

 

Oh, and one of the guys I'm talking about, in my response to your post, has been my friend for 17 years now. He still tells me how sexy he thinks I am. I really wish I was attracted to him...he would be so good to me.

 

Good luck

[Jannah]

Women generally know when they first meet a guy, whether or not she has or could develope a romantic inclination towards him. And that generally happens rather quickly when she's attracted to him physically and romantically.

[bunklife]

I know that she used to like me before her bf came into the picture. And whenever I see her now (which is not very often) I always have a feeling that she hasn't lot intrest in me. Is there a way that I can make her turn back to me?