texasman Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 I could write a lot but I'm going to try and keep it short. Basically, I met this girl from Europe studying abroad at my college and I ended up having feelings for her. She's leaving early next week. I've been good friends with her all semester but I just told her how I really feel last thursday. Here is how it went: We hugged each other, because this was a sort of goodbye. After we let go, I told her. Me: I wasn't going to tell you this but I just feel I have to. I tried my hardest not to fall for you but I did. Her: No, I don't think you feel that way. Sometimes people just get caught up in new relationships...(I cut her off) Me: No, I really do have those feelings. You're the most perfect woman I've ever met. You're beautiful, smart, funny, have the same political and religious beliefs as me...You are the perfect woman. I am very sad that you are leaving, I wish I had more time to get to know you. Her: I wish I had more time to get to know you too. There are plenty of other me's out there. Me: That may be true, but I wanted to let you know how I felt about you. I hope this didn't make you feel awkward, and if it does I hope you can just take it as a complement. Her: No, I definitely take this as a complement, I'll be thinking about this during Christmas. We pretty much just said goodbye then (I'm simplifying the convo a bit). I told her that if she was ever back in town please let me know. I then went to hug her, and we did. If it counts for anything, the second hug felt much more "real". So here I am, she's going to be gone in less than 3 days. I haven't heard from her. I haven't contacted her. I want to see her again so badly. Before I told all this to her she said she would maybe invite me and my friends out with her and her friends, but she hasn't said anything. I don't know if I should try to call her, or try to see her again. What do I do? I still don't know if she has feelings for me. Do you think she's in to me? Deep down inside I think maybe, but if she did I thought she would contact me. But then again, what can she really do? She has to go back home. How can I get a more definite answer without ruining the relationship and memories we've had together? Please, any advice will help, I'm losing time, my mind, and my dream girl!
Anxiety Posted December 18, 2010 Posted December 18, 2010 These two lines seem to me that she isn't that into you. No, I don't think you feel that way. Sometimes people just get caught up in new relationships... There are plenty of other me's out there. I may be wrong, hearing that wouldn't make me feel very good. Shes almost telling you to find someone else.
Author texasman Posted December 18, 2010 Author Posted December 18, 2010 Your right, it leads me to believe she isn't that into me as well. However (and this is probably because I really like her), I think maybe there is a possibility she may have feelings but realizes that admitting them would only make things worse, since she has to leave? Maybe I put her on the spot and she didn't know how to answer? I do know that she is a very kind, generous, and caring person. And I think maybe it's possible that she didn't want to hurt me more by saying she has feelings for me since she's going to be half way across the world. Either way I knew I was going to be heartbroken. I guess more or less I just wanted to know if there was a possibility she had feelings...and I wish she would have given me a more definite answer. Am I way off here?
Jeff M Stevens Posted December 19, 2010 Posted December 19, 2010 You opened up to her and she's still going to leave. It's pretty much as simple as she won't change her plans to be with you now that she knows how you feel. It's a dead issue. Next time, and I'm not trying to hurt you here, but next time please fall for a girl that lives no more than 30 miles from you. You could say "well, I didn't plan for this to happen" but when did realize it was happening, you needed to cut yourself off. You're in college I'm betting and there have got to be a TON of local girls that you just basically ignored during the period you were "falling" for this girl. So now you don't have her and you haven't fished with any of the girls you could actually be spending time with. We all only have limited time to get to our goals, whether it be career, family or relationships and you just burned a lot of time for something that had no chance from the beginning. To take a positive out of this, it seems as if a beautiful and kind girl found you to be a great guy. That means there will be another one for you. Just make sure she's LOCAL and STAYING LOCAL next time you let your heart take control
Author texasman Posted December 19, 2010 Author Posted December 19, 2010 Thanks Jeff, I knew that she still had to leave, but I didn't mention that there is at least a slight chance that we could meet again. She's said in the past she may study abroad in the u.s. again. She's also made comments that she would like to find a career here. She herself doesn't know, but she's obviously thinking about it. I think maybe the best thing to do now is to let her think about this on her own. I'm not going to contact her, except maybe send an e-mail wishing her a safe flight. In the mean time..I'm going to try to move on. You're right, there are plenty of other women around here. Even though she is the first that has ever made me feel this way...I'm hoping I will find another, or maybe if it is truly meant to be I will end up with her. You guys have helped a lot. Thanks so much.
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