I feel destroyed

[Golon]

Hi,

 

I have posted on here before. I am in a terrible state.

 

This last week has just killed me emotionally.

 

It seems MM is always snappy with me. I can't do anything right and when I ask to see him I am "going on at him". Friday was the worst possible day. I got shouted at for bad driving.....so much so I was shaking in the car and felt really awful.....it was so unnecessary....and then I said after we pulled up "do you want me or your W". He wouldn't answer. Now- bearing in mind when asked in the past I was always told me. I then got accused of issuing him with an ultimatum. Making him choose......I hadn't realised it was a choice. Never been put to me in those terms before.

 

This is totally shcked me. In the past he has said...without any prompting that it is me he wants, I am his soulmate and now he is going on at me as I'm "making him choose"....well I thought I was his choice! This is certainly what I have been told before. I explain this and just get accused of "going on". He says he is "drained" and that I "stress him".

 

I am totally bewildered by this total change in character. He used to be so loving and would tell me we had a future and that he loves me and needs me and now it is just him being snappy. I feel I am blamed for the stress the A brings to his life. I used to see him lots more and now if I ask to see him it is like I am some unreasonable person. I am making demands.....but I am only asking to see him like I did before and I was never met with hostility.

 

I haven't been able to function at all today. Spent most of it on the sofa. I feel weak....I can't eat. I have a terrible headache. I can't believe I put my faith in someone totally. Despite all the comments from close friends and people on here I believed in him. I thought that despite everything it was his real aim to be with me. I now just feel destroyed. How can someone change so much? I am now told "when I go on he has to stay away as it stresses him". In effect I feel I can no longer talk about my feelings. I feel my heart has been smashed to pieces.

 

How can I get through this messin one piece. Right now I just want to curl up and not move.

 

I really do give my all. I give him all my time, energy, and in return am made to feel I am some sort of terrible nag.

[bentnotbroken]

Make no mistake...your feelings(nor those of his wife)were ever of any concern for him. It was and will be about him. Stressing him out huh? Yeah right.

[BB07]

Golon almost every post I've ever read from you is pretty much the same thing.........nothing changes, so what are you going to do to change it? When are you going to stop allowing this man to own you and your life and stop allowing him to make you miserable??

 

You are the only one who has the key!

[whichwayisup]

Would you put up with this treatment if you were in a regular single relationship with a guy? The nit picking and the arguing, him being a dickwad to you.

 

Honestly, it sounds like your A is coming to an end and he doesn't have the balls to end, so he's gone into a-hole mode so YOU break up with him.

 

To him, it's an affair. To you, it's a real relationship with hopes and dreams that you two will be together some day...

 

How long do you want to stay the OW? Is having an affair and accepting that he'll never leave his wife enough for you?

 

take time to think about what you want.. Why you are with a man who treats you so poorly, and with such disrespect and is married and isn't leaving his wife.. Just because you love him doesn't mean you have to have him, even more so that he is acting like a jerk.

[Golon]

Hi,

 

I just feel so down. I don't get how someone can change so much. I went into my email account last night and read some old emails. Things were said about how he imagined how our children would look, how he wanted a house with me, that we would be inseparable....talk of total commitment. I read them so I knew I was not imagining things. This was real....not me asking.....but him telling me.

 

bentnotbroken- He tells me I cause him to feel ill through going on at him....thing is that the things I "go on" about are not "when do you plan on leaving your wife?" but things like...."do you want to meet after work?"....I am not being unreasonable. When I get upset he sees me as unreasonable.

 

I am being branded a nag/drag.....even said stuff like I bet your ex's got fed up of you and ended it. This hurts....being told I am unreasonable. Thing is....in most cases I ended it with ex's....mainly due to very ordinary stuff like not feeling the R was working....not due to issues with seeing them. I never had to ask repeatedly to see them.

 

I just can't understand what has happened to us.

 

BB07- What is the key? I have no idea.....I want him to be like he used to be with me.....I don't know how to make that person return.

 

FanFan- I wouldn't tell her. I don't see there is anything to be gained. I want him to decide what he tells his W.

 

whichwayisup- it is not enough for me. I wouldn't tolerate it from a single person at all you are right.

 

LisaLee- no I am not going I'm afraid.

[anne1707]

It seems MM is always snappy with me. I can't do anything right and when I ask to see him I am "going on at him".

 

You know that it's not because you are doing wrong - it's because he is after finding faults and undermining you as part of his move away from you. This is distancing himself from you as he slowly backs out the door to return to his marriage.

 

and then I said after we pulled up "do you want me or your W". He wouldn't answer. Now- bearing in mind when asked in the past I was always told me. I then got accused of issuing him with an ultimatum. Making him choose......I hadn't realised it was a choice. Never been put to me in those terms before.

 

More proof of him backing away from you. Before he would have told you he woudl choose you to ensure you hung around but now he either feels he does not have to try to keep you there or he is after ending the affair. It's just he's so cowardly he is trying to make out that it's your fault because you put too much pressure on him etc.

 

This is totally shcked me. In the past he has said...without any prompting that it is me he wants, I am his soulmate and now he is going on at me as I'm "making him choose"....well I thought I was his choice! This is certainly what I have been told before. I explain this and just get accused of "going on". He says he is "drained" and that I "stress him".

 

It's all "me, me, me" with him. He wants you to accommodate entirely to his needs and bu%%er you.

 

 

I used to see him lots more and now if I ask to see him it is like I am some unreasonable person. I am making demands.....but I am only asking to see him like I did before and I was never met with hostility.

 

When I had my affair and got to the stage that I knew I did not want to be with the ex-OM, I started making myself less available and I would then act frustrated with the ex-OM when he got bothered about that. I was just being selfish - I did not have the decency to end things because I could still eat cake if I wanted to now and then (and yes I know how scummy that sounds)

 

 

How can someone change so much? I am now told "when I go on he has to stay away as it stresses him". In effect I feel I can no longer talk about my feelings. I feel my heart has been smashed to pieces.

 

The problem is that he has not changed. He never wanted to end his marriage, he never really wanted to be with you. He just played a game to keep himself amused and you were his victim. It's just now he is bored with the game and finds it's taking up too much of his time.

 

 

I really do give my all. I give him all my time, energy, and in return am made to feel I am some sort of terrible nag.

 

Also part of his game - he will make all this seem like your fault. Not only is he not accepting responsibility for problems in his marriage, he is not accepting responsibility for how he deals with his affair.

 

 

Golon

 

This man is a complete sh%t. People have been telling you this for months yet you have chosen to believe him time and time again. Yet he keeps letting you down and is now giving you even less of himself than he did before. Is this really what you want for yourself? Do you want to lose yourself for this man?

 

I know that it is incredibly hard for you but you have to break away from him. You have to stop letting him have a hold over you and you have to stop taking responsibility for his mess. You deserve better.

[skywriter]

Golon,

 

In your post, you sound as if you just believe long enough that his words will somehow match his actions.

 

When I read your words , It is so awakening to myself, how all of us, men and women alike can be so taken into other peoples lives, problems, situations in general. Things that have absolutley nothing to do with us. We're these peoples diversions from the lives of their own making. Their behaviors towards us, is (understatement)so selfish.

 

Golon, when you've had enough, it'll be your "aha" moment. Forgive yourself and get to stepping. Don't look back, to even give him his undeserving, farewell. peace.....

[seren]

Golon, Your post struck me as if it could have been written by a BS when an A is ongoing. Most of the comments you made resonated with me, perhaps not the same words, but the meaning behind them. You are not a nag to want to know when you are meeting someone, nor is it nagging to want to talk to someone who has told you that they love you about your future(s). It really is not about you, it is all about him.

 

It sounds like you are looking at yourself and thinking, What the Hell have I done/said now? truth is, you have probably no doubt said anything out of the ordinary - what has happened, I think, is that the MM is coming to the stage where it is all becoming just too much hassle for him - not you - but the A situation. I would imagine that he is realising that at some point there will be a reckoning, maybe he has looked at himself and decided he is doing the wrong thing and wants to stay and work on his marriage, or maybe he just cannot continue with the deceit any longer, it's all guesswork on my part and only he really knows his thinking of where he would like it to go.

 

However, it doesn't mean that you should have to bear the brunt of his attitude, or general lack of respect and feeling. Irrespective of where you sit in the A, no one should feel that they are nagging or blaming themselves for the other's poor behaviour. Many BS call this constant lashing out as gaslighting, lying or acting differently from the people we know them to be. It is a reflection of the character of the man and not you, nor his wife, who has probably had much of the same treatment and is probably wondering where the man that she loves/(ed) has gone.

 

If I were you, I would stop waiting for him to be who he was, look at who he is and whether he is someone who you want or need in your life. Don't blame yourself, guard your heart and take care.

[sammyd]

Was just going to say the same thing, that this is what the guy will most likely be like if you married him! Lucky you've seen it now. You need to get out of this destructive realtionship. The one that's being destroyed is you, not him.

You have a lot of support on here to help you through it.

Come on, you can end this!! You deserve so much better!

[LucreziaBorgia]

I don't get how someone can change so much.

 

He didn't change - you did. You went from playing the complacent OW to one who wanted more. The way he is acting now is simply a reaction to that. He said all these sweet things to you at the beginning because the affair was going how he wanted it to. When the affair started going the way he didn't want it to - he is simply doing what is necessary to put you back in your place and keep you there.

 

In other words, if you want your 'soulmate' back you will need to stop asking for more from him. Stop questioning him, and stop asking him to make a choice. The less you want for yourself, the more he will become more of what you remember. It is not easy being a 'happy other woman' but the most important thing about it is to always remember that you are 'other' - no more, no less, particularly with a MM like this one.

 

It is also highly likely that he is shopping for a more complacent OW who won't make demands on him - if he hasn't found one already. For a MM like this one, affairs are meant to be fun and an escape, not a hassle to be escaped from. If it becomes a hassle, then he leaves. Sorry to put it that way, but that is just how it is.

 

It may be too late now, but if you backpedal enough with your emotions and keep your needs to yourself, he *might* start being a little nicer to you.

 

To be honest, the best thing to do would be to find a way out but since you want to be with him, it will have to be his way or no way. You can accept it, or you can remain miserable, or you can leave. Those are your only choices with this particular MM.

[scatterd]

I agree with the Lady's here he is showing his true self.He is doing to you what he did to the wife when things were good between you.He is trying to make you break up with him so you will not tell his wife.He is throwing you under the bus and until you take a stand and leave him alone it will continue.This man is selfish I bet after you are done with him and he gets bored he will come back fishing and it would happen again.He knows you are weak when it comes to him so hes going to be mean in stead of telling you to hes done.Get over him move on go NC so you can find yourself I am sorry you hurt.Big Hugs

[BB07]

Hi,

BB07- What is the key? I have no idea.....I want him to be like he used to be with me.....I don't know how to make that person return.

 

What I meant Golon is that you hold the key. You need to turn the key to a prison of your own making. Your prison is believing that this man was who he presented himself to be at the beginning and believing that you "can make him" (your words) be that man again. You've got to accept that he never was that man, you've got to let go of your fantasy of what you want him to be and quit beating your head against the wall hoping things will go back to the way they were.

 

If you don't let go of this Golon, you are going to be here every few months for the next few years repeating the same thing. Don't you want something to change Golon? Can you believe that YOU are the one who has to change it? You are letting time slip by you that you can not get back again, you are letting life pass you by because you are longing for something that never was and never will be. This man is showing you this, telling you this and until you accept the reality you are going to stay stuck. It's going to hurt, but you are already hurting.

You have to LET GO. Understand what you are doing is TOXIC to you and it's going to get worse unless YOU start doing something different.

[drewsmom]

I can bet this guy treats his wife the same way he treats you, my stbxh treated me that way, he left last january, found out there was a gf, it was hard for the first couple weeks, then I found it comforting being alone, with no stress, he was so ocd, my son was afraid to leave a light on, when he left and was gone a while my 6 yr old said its better here without daddy, no yelling. I thought to myself, let this girl deal with him, his family said to me that he did me a favor, they seen how mean he was all the time, and its only a matter of time before they show their true colors to the op. just the other night my son was in the bathroom and had a few lights on becuase he is afraid of the dark, he yells to me, mom if daddy stops by and sees the lights on will you take the blame, how friggin sad is that. one day he came home from work and said who made the mark on this door, my son whispered to me mom tell him i did it i will take the blame, I dont want him to yell at you. and that was when he was 5. So I say good luck to the new woman.

[siuys]

Golon, even if he WAS like that before, he IS no longer that. He is not treating you with respect, and you are letting him. You are a doormat at this stage, and until you step up, he will continue to treat you as one. He could be wanting out of the A/R by being horrible to you so you end it who knows. Bottom line, he treats you like **** and YOU are the only one who can stop it. Pull yourself together, accept the situation, acknowledge the mistakes you made, learn from them, get a plan of action together so you can move forward. Baby steps will become steps will become leaps. Have faith in YOURSELF, not him. Delete all the 'nice' emails because trust me, I have been there. I used to read xMM's old emails to me promising the world. He's meanwhile thrown me under the bus twice, and that is AFTER he's moved out and living on his own for 6 months. To be able to move on, let it go, even if it's a little at a time. Delete those emails to begin with because if not, you are only living in fantasy, and living in the past, which no longer exist. You have a choice, although you don't feel like you do, but you do. You can sink into despair, let him run your life, or you can get that power back.

[alexandria35]

I totally agree with everyone here. This guy is an egotistcal, controlling ass even without the affair! I have dealt with this kind of guy and I can tell you they don't change. It just goes from bad to worse. And I don't care how wonderful he used to be and what pretty words he used on you. You are holding onto the image he protrayed in the beginning soley for the purpose of getting you hooked. It was fake! Truly kind and wonderful people don't turn into jerks overnight...he was always a jerk but he hid it from you.

 

The problem now is not him, because you know what he's about and you know that you can expect more of the same, but the problem now lies with you. When are you going to get tired of crap and move on? Stop trying to make this frog turn into a prince. It ain't gonna happen. Accept it and move on.

[fooled once]

Hi,

 

I have posted on here before. I am in a terrible state.

 

This last week has just killed me emotionally.

 

It seems MM is always snappy with me. I can't do anything right and when I ask to see him I am "going on at him". Friday was the worst possible day. I got shouted at for bad driving.....so much so I was shaking in the car and felt really awful.....it was so unnecessary....and then I said after we pulled up "do you want me or your W". He wouldn't answer. Now- bearing in mind when asked in the past I was always told me. I then got accused of issuing him with an ultimatum. Making him choose......I hadn't realised it was a choice. Never been put to me in those terms before.

 

This is totally shcked me. In the past he has said...without any prompting that it is me he wants, I am his soulmate and now he is going on at me as I'm "making him choose"....well I thought I was his choice! This is certainly what I have been told before. I explain this and just get accused of "going on". He says he is "drained" and that I "stress him".

 

I am totally bewildered by this total change in character. He used to be so loving and would tell me we had a future and that he loves me and needs me and now it is just him being snappy. I feel I am blamed for the stress the A brings to his life. I used to see him lots more and now if I ask to see him it is like I am some unreasonable person. I am making demands.....but I am only asking to see him like I did before and I was never met with hostility.

 

I haven't been able to function at all today. Spent most of it on the sofa. I feel weak....I can't eat. I have a terrible headache. I can't believe I put my faith in someone totally. Despite all the comments from close friends and people on here I believed in him. I thought that despite everything it was his real aim to be with me. I now just feel destroyed. How can someone change so much? I am now told "when I go on he has to stay away as it stresses him". In effect I feel I can no longer talk about my feelings. I feel my heart has been smashed to pieces.

 

How can I get through this messin one piece. Right now I just want to curl up and not move.

 

I really do give my all. I give him all my time, energy, and in return am made to feel I am some sort of terrible nag.

 

Golon, you ALLOW him to treat you this way. You are like a doormat to him. You accept this crappy treatment.

 

He isn't your soul mate. He isn't going to be with you in the end. He isn't leaving his wife for you. He isn't going to be in your future, besides a married guy you have sex with.

 

He doesn't want you full time. He told you all those things prior to keep you attached to him. Now, he knows he can do anything to you, he can say anything to you and you accept it and beg him for attention.

 

Where is your dignity?

 

Golon almost every post I've ever read from you is pretty much the same thing.........nothing changes, so what are you going to do to change it? When are you going to stop allowing this man to own you and your life and stop allowing him to make you miserable??

 

You are the only one who has the key!

 

I agree. Her posts all say the same thing, just a different week/month.

 

Would you put up with this treatment if you were in a regular single relationship with a guy? The nit picking and the arguing, him being a dickwad to you.

 

Honestly, it sounds like your A is coming to an end and he doesn't have the balls to end, so he's gone into a-hole mode so YOU break up with him.

 

To him, it's an affair. To you, it's a real relationship with hopes and dreams that you two will be together some day...

 

How long do you want to stay the OW? Is having an affair and accepting that he'll never leave his wife enough for you?

 

take time to think about what you want.. Why you are with a man who treats you so poorly, and with such disrespect and is married and isn't leaving his wife.. Just because you love him doesn't mean you have to have him, even more so that he is acting like a jerk.

 

Agree. It is an affair and at this point, it sounds like he doesn't even want the affair anymore because the mistress has become a nag who is demanding too much from him. She isn't being the compliant girl, willing to turn her life upside down for a guy who is NOT GOING TO LEAVE HIS WIFE.

 

You can continue to nag him all day long - that isn't going to change anything.

 

You're still focusing on him saying you are his soul mate... and he is still treating you like crap. Nothing has changed since your very first post. You self esteem sounds shot to hell and he makes it worse, have you or are you going to counseling?

 

Agree

 

You know that it's not because you are doing wrong - it's because he is after finding faults and undermining you as part of his move away from you. This is distancing himself from you as he slowly backs out the door to return to his marriage.

 

More proof of him backing away from you. Before he would have told you he woudl choose you to ensure you hung around but now he either feels he does not have to try to keep you there or he is after ending the affair. It's just he's so cowardly he is trying to make out that it's your fault because you put too much pressure on him etc.

 

It's all "me, me, me" with him. He wants you to accommodate entirely to his needs and bu%%er you.

 

The problem is that he has not changed. He never wanted to end his marriage, he never really wanted to be with you. He just played a game to keep himself amused and you were his victim. It's just now he is bored with the game and finds it's taking up too much of his time.

 

Also part of his game - he will make all this seem like your fault. Not only is he not accepting responsibility for problems in his marriage, he is not accepting responsibility for how he deals with his affair.

 

Golon

 

This man is a complete sh%t. People have been telling you this for months yet you have chosen to believe him time and time again. Yet he keeps letting you down and is now giving you even less of himself than he did before. Is this really what you want for yourself? Do you want to lose yourself for this man?

 

I know that it is incredibly hard for you but you have to break away from him. You have to stop letting him have a hold over you and you have to stop taking responsibility for his mess. You deserve better.

 

Great post.

 

 

I totally agree with everyone here. This guy is an egotistcal, controlling ass even without the affair! I have dealt with this kind of guy and I can tell you they don't change. It just goes from bad to worse. And I don't care how wonderful he used to be and what pretty words he used on you. You are holding onto the image he protrayed in the beginning soley for the purpose of getting you hooked. It was fake! Truly kind and wonderful people don't turn into jerks overnight...he was always a jerk but he hid it from you.

 

The problem now is not him, because you know what he's about and you know that you can expect more of the same, but the problem now lies with you. When are you going to get tired of crap and move on? Stop trying to make this frog turn into a prince. It ain't gonna happen. Accept it and move on.

 

Golon, either accept the very little you get from him. Accept the abusive treatment, accept the crumbs he throws you when HE has time. Accept that this is NEVER EVER going to be a real relationship.

 

Accept it and let it go.

 

OR

 

Get out.

 

But you wont' get out. You keep thinking you and he have a future. You don't. He and his wife have a future. He is playing you and you keep ALLOWING it.

 

accept things exactly as they are (not how they WERE) or move on with your life.

 

Those are you only choices.

[jthorne]

Golon,

Please re-read your other threads.

There's nothing being said here that hasn't been said to you before. Several times.

 

I am not sure what other assistance we can provide.

[Hazyhead]

Golon, I agree with everything that's been said. You know what you need to do; the only thing left is to just do it!

 

Come on! You are worth more.

[Golon]

Thank you for the responses. Now is not a good time to do this but I will be writing some replies.

 

I am struggling.....spent Christmas Day, Boxing Day and now today with family. He is of course with his family. This kills me but I can't help but feel it doesn't have the same effect on him.

 

Today I said via text that I am finding it hard and I just got told to see the bigger picture and it's not always about you.

 

Too right but I would go further and say it is not ever about me. I feel very down about us being apart at Christmas and he says he is not getting to see his friends......but that is not my fault or choice.....he chooses to be with his wife and then make time for me so doesn't have much free time. I feel blamed.

 

I was able to come back today but he said he was not able to see me......I just feel down. I really don't get why I can love someone so much who clearly does not want me. Why do I do this to myself? Christmas has been so hard. I feel so down. I feel so weak and run down. All I want is for us to be together....I feel blamed for causing stress in his life.

[anne1707]

Today I said via text that I am finding it hard and I just got told to see the bigger picture and it's not always about you.

 

((((Golon))))

 

I hate seeing you beat yourself up over this scumbag of a man. Once again, he is putting all the blame on you. He is clearly stating that his family AND his friends are more important to him than you are. He is blaming you for his selfishness, arrogance, cruelty and deceit. You know it's all about him - please stop putting up with his sh*t.

[whichwayisup]

He is intentionally being cruel and he knows that this time of year is hard on you. Instead of him being understanding and sympathic to you, he's acting like a big jerk and making you feel worse by snubbing your words, ignoring your pain.

 

Are you getting closer to your enough is enough phase? Is what he is offering you making you happy? Excluding Christmas and other holidays, out weigh the good vs bad.

[newpriorities]

Thank you for the responses. Now is not a good time to do this but I will be writing some replies.

 

I am struggling.....spent Christmas Day, Boxing Day and now today with family. He is of course with his family. This kills me but I can't help but feel it doesn't have the same effect on him.

 

Today I said via text that I am finding it hard and I just got told to see the bigger picture and it's not always about you.

 

Too right but I would go further and say it is not ever about me. I feel very down about us being apart at Christmas and he says he is not getting to see his friends......but that is not my fault or choice.....he chooses to be with his wife and then make time for me so doesn't have much free time. I feel blamed.

 

I was able to come back today but he said he was not able to see me......I just feel down. I really don't get why I can love someone so much who clearly does not want me. Why do I do this to myself? Christmas has been so hard. I feel so down. I feel so weak and run down. All I want is for us to be together....I feel blamed for causing stress in his life.

 

Golon, when I read your story I wince. It seems so clear what you need to do, yet you are unable to do so and cannot figure out why--I know because I have been in the same position as you--accepting and yes, even being grateful for (insert wince) the crumbs he threw me. Seeing myself in you outraged me enough that I have been able to pull myself out of my situation. Reading about your pain and the hold this manipulating sack of s-it has on you is so difficult. And yet, I understand it all too well. So, please understand I am not trying to tj here, I am hoping if I share one of my utterly humilitaing encounters w my xMM that you too may become outraged at how one person could treat another and how the other person accepts it! Outraged enough to see youself and find the strength to get out!

Several days before Christmas last year, I gave him a gift. He said it was nice, but the next day he told me he would prefer a particular shirt which he proceded to show me online. So I tried to return the first gift, but it was nonrefundable and I bought him the shirt he wanted and gave it to him. Did he get me a gift or even a card? No. And we had been together for 1 year at that point, were madly in love, "soulmates" etc. Christmas break came and we had two weeks off of work (we work together). He said nothing about getting together--only a lot of words about how terribly he would miss me. I asked if we could see each other (I practically begged) and he agreed to meet me at a friend's house the first day of break. We met and had sex (I would've called it passionate lovemaking then) while my friend was at work and his W was Christmas shoppiong down the street! (I didn't know that part until he had to leave because he was due to meet up w his W. Ugh, so sick in hindsight). He says he will call me the next day. Four days go by, no calls, no texts, no email. So I send a casual email, hi, how are you etc. He emails (next day) saying he misses me so much, hasn't had "5 minutes" to call but will call tomorrow. I had plans with my kids for that next day so I gather my courage and email back saying could he try and call after 3 when I would be done with my plans (there was a time I would've cancelled my plans to wait for the call--wince again!). Two days go by, no call, no email, no nothing.now it is Dec 23. Once again I gather my courage and I write him an email (of course he holds all the power, I can't just call him) telling him that I'm "so sad we haven't had any communication" and I actually find it in me to ask for it! I tell him how much it hurts not to be able to talk at all during the two weeks (except for when he graced me with his presence for sex that first day--being snarky here) but of course I tell him that I don't want him to feel pressured that I understand etc. Still nothing. After the break, and I saw him at work he asked me "are you alright now?" Like I had just been some premenstrual hysterical woman that hadn't been worth responding to!

Long story, this was just one of many similar events where he treated me like this and it took me another 10 months to stop it. To this day I cannot believe I let myself be treated that way. I just couldn't believe that someone who said the things he said and touched me the way he touched me wasn't deeply, deeply in love with me. To this day, he will say he was. As I said in one of my threads, his definition of love is not healthy and not mine. To knowingly disregard the pain of someone you love is not love at all! Again, not trying to tj here, but do you see yourself in my story? Do you see how inhumane it is? Please do not lose any more of your life to this guy.