StarryEyes86 Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 So after talking to this guy via text for a few weeks, we decided to meet up for a coffee date on our college campus. I'm a graduate student and he's a PhD candidate teaching at my school. We made plans to meet at 11am today at the campus Starbucks. He didn't show. I texted him, "Hey are you coming?" No answer. So I called a friend and got lunch with her instead not even thinking that I would hear from this guy again. Wrong. He texts, "Hey how are you?" No mention that he didn't show up or that he bailed on our coffee date. I text back, "Interesting. You text me after not showing up today?" Jerk: "Sorry I didn't go to work today" Me: "You could have at least sent a text to let me know you weren't coming. It takes five seconds to send a text." Jerk:"I know. I'm sorry that was rude." I'm not hurt or sad or anything. I'm just incredibly irritated and surprised that he would have the balls to text me after that. I'm tempted to text him back just to say he's an ass and to kick him to the curb. But I'll probably just not reply to that text and try to be the classier one out of the situation. Vent over. Any thoughts as to why he'd do that? Ugh.
Art_Critic Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 You better not be just tempted to kick him to the curb.. you better kick him to the curb period.. Don't allow any man or woman for that matter disrespect you like that.. Block and Delete...
creighton0123 Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 There are many reasons why he would and could do that to you. None of them are reasons you have to know. Move on. You deserve someone either 1) Better 2) More responsible 3) More mature 4) More courteous 5) More organized or 6) Any combination of the above In any other situation, whether meeting someone for business, a family member, or friend, if you can't make set plans, you provide ample time enough to cancel and reschedule. It's common sense that he lacks and you shouldn't waste any time berating him or finding out why.
Author StarryEyes86 Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 There are many reasons why he would and could do that to you. None of them are reasons you have to know. Move on. You deserve someone either 1) Better 2) More responsible 3) More mature 4) More courteous 5) More organized or 6) Any combination of the above In any other situation, whether meeting someone for business, a family member, or friend, if you can't make set plans, you provide ample time enough to cancel and reschedule. It's common sense that he lacks and you shouldn't waste any time berating him or finding out why. Thanks! I agree I deserve someone better. I wasn't planning to go on a quest to find out why he did it to me. I'm too done with him to do that. I'm ready to just say something really snarky to him and wish him a nice life...or not even respond.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 The best response is no response. No matter what kind of degree he might be getting in the future, his diploma definitely won't make up for his lack of manner and etiquette.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 pretty damn rude. NC time. even in emergency situations, reasonable people say hey X is going on, I'm sorry, let's rain check. big red flag. NC's appropriate.
Tressugar Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Don't ask why he would do this. Be glad that you see him for what he is. He is showing you upfront. Do not text/chat with him again. Move on.
creighton0123 Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 Thanks! I agree I deserve someone better. I wasn't planning to go on a quest to find out why he did it to me. I'm too done with him to do that. I'm ready to just say something really snarky to him and wish him a nice life...or not even respond. Girl, forget about him. Don't even dignify him with a response. From how you read, he's the one losing out. Find yourself a nice, handsome gentlemen whom you can treat right and who will treat you right.
Author StarryEyes86 Posted December 16, 2010 Author Posted December 16, 2010 You're all right. I won't be responding to him. Thanks!
musemaj11 Posted December 16, 2010 Posted December 16, 2010 I dont understand people who stand people up. Its really cruel. I could never do something like that to anyone.
ecm Posted December 29, 2010 Posted December 29, 2010 There are many reasons why he would and could do that to you. None of them are reasons you have to know. Move on. You deserve someone either 1) Better 2) More responsible 3) More mature 4) More courteous 5) More organized or 6) Any combination of the above In any other situation, whether meeting someone for business, a family member, or friend, if you can't make set plans, you provide ample time enough to cancel and reschedule. It's common sense that he lacks and you shouldn't waste any time berating him or finding out why. Creighton- from what I've read, you give good advice and seem very nice and level-headed. A lot of guys just respond like imbeciles, so I just thought you should know. I agree with the above. Now, if I could only take that advice as well.
radiodarcy Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 i had someone i met online do that to me once. we met for coffee, he asked me out to dinner that same weekend - - said he would call. weekend came and went - - not a peep. that monday he sent me a text saying "what's up?" i didn't even respond.
january2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 (edited) In my experience, PhD students have a tough life, especially if they're final year and lab-based. However, that's no excuse for his behaviour. Don't give him the chance to repeat this with you. Edited December 30, 2010 by january2010
Ms. Joolie Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 In my experience, PhD students have a tough life, especially if they're final year and lab-based. However, that's no excuse for his behaviour. Don't give him the chance to repeat this with you. What a superb commentary! You know, if you wanted to conquer and divide in this whole fiasco, you could even be interested with him in why he did what he did. Romantically speaking, this guy has shown subpar etiquette. But if you are interested and maybe want to turn things around, there is definitely that higher road to take. If he texts you again, be friendly and just inquire how things are for him. Jab around with being stood up, and communicate to him lightheartedly that you wouldn't do THAT again. Start a conversation with that and just see what you learn, and what you can leave him with. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt to the PhD guy. Also, I was reeled in with your desire of being classy and started speculating on that.
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