U1987 Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 So I'm trying Phillyfan's profile on my fake account. In case you don't remember, my fake account is my "experimental" account; it has the same pictures and the descriptions I put up about me are true. The only difference is that it's in a city that's on the other side of the country. I live on the East Coast, but my profile says I live in Washington and I'm messaging Seattle girls. Since you only get one chance at a first impression, I want to practice profile-writing and messaging girls who I'll never meet far away, so I can get good before messaging girls around here. What do you think of these emails? A med student who likes techno and clubbing. That's cool you study medicine. I'm a molecular bio major myself. I'm also a bit of a techno-fiend - I love Hed-Kandi, Justice and Grum. No glow sticks though haha. I saw Mauro Picotto and Carl Cox in Singapore - those shows were wild. Saw Tiesto in Connecticut too - that kinda sucked haha Seen any big DJs? Another girl with a short, vague profile saying she's a college student new to the area. Just read you moved here. Welcome (even though it's been a year haha) I'm sure you've found out already, but it's really easy to find something fun- even just wandering and exploring you'll find something. What are you studying by the way?[/Quote] A girl who seems bitter at online dating but wants to try something new; says she's traveled around the world too and likes museums. She says there are a lot of hotter girls on that site and hopes that she's not 3rd or 4th on a guy's list; seems pretty insecure, but she's pretty cute, which is what matters to me. I'm a bit of a museum nerd myself haha. I'm not a huge buff, but I like modern art exhibits (just saw a cool one of black, white and orange prints on tiny milk cartons) I play in a classic-rock and pop cover band, but I gotta be honest, I really enjoy jazz bands. It's too bad not to many people in this country do though. Where have you traveled? How do those sound?
Crazy Magnet Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 "That's cool you study medicine" is pretty lame. Otherwise, they sound fine to me. Short, some humor (haha's) and a Q at the end to engage.
dispatch3d Posted December 8, 2010 Posted December 8, 2010 Questions seem to dry. Example: Seen any big djs lately? could just as easily be: What's your best experience at a rave? or, What do you study? (which seems like a very boring thing to have a conversation about, no offence) could be Whats your favourite subject? Honestly I'd steer away from school though and go more towards fun topics (ie. dj talk>>school talk). If she isn't into school things won't go well. In the real world I would stay the hell away from girls who come off insecure on a dating site. Way more work to date insecure girls. I'm also thinking going for dates/numbers earlier on is much better than later on.
Author U1987 Posted December 10, 2010 Author Posted December 10, 2010 "That's cool you study medicine" is pretty lame. Otherwise, they sound fine to me. Short, some humor (haha's) and a Q at the end to engage. How would you design the email?
Author U1987 Posted December 10, 2010 Author Posted December 10, 2010 Unbelievable, 2 nights and none of them responded, even though they all say "Read." What's up? Anyway, new round coming up soon.
utterer of lies Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Unbelievable, 2 nights and none of them responded, even though they all say "Read." What's up? You suck at writing messages.
USCGAviator Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Keep em short sweet and funny. Sometimes I comment on pics like background objects or commenting on the bed shes standing in front of isnt made. I found that talking about their profile bores them unless you make fun of it in a playful way. I get alot of replies that way and once you break the ice...your in baby!!!!
xpaperxcutx Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Unbelievable, 2 nights and none of them responded, even though they all say "Read." What's up? Anyway, new round coming up soon. Stop trying so hard. For every 10 emails you sent out on a dating site, expect at most 1 to reply. Even at that it'll be a miracle. If you expect to tap booties, first lose all expectations you have for these girls. Stop being so concerned with whether they'll respond and start being more aloof and uncaring. Seriously, pretend to be a bad boy even if you're a introverted nerd.
DollWelch Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 You suck at writing messages. I agree. 100%. No offense to you, U1987, but your messages/e-mails are bland. You're going to have to be more creative.
Sarah1977 Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Get rid of all the 'hahahas.' You didn't say anything funny enough to warrant a 'haha' and no one likes the tool who laughs as his own jokes anyway.
welikeincrowds Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Get rid of all the 'hahahas.' You didn't say anything funny enough to warrant a 'haha' and no one likes the tool who laughs as his own jokes anyway. I like your advice haha
oaks Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Unbelievable, 2 nights and none of them responded, even though they all say "Read." What's up? Get used to this. Actually, you're doing well that they all read them. Sometimes you'll see that they look at your profile and then never read the email, which probably means they already answered the "would I date this guy?" question from your photo or something in your profile. If you take the view that they are unlikely to respond (for whatever reason upsets you the least, since you'll never know why it was anyway) then you'll be in a better frame of mind when you're composing your first-contact emails and also when you receive a reply (but don't be surprised if lots of the replies are variations on "thanks but no thanks"). Also, don't assume that someone will respond the same day that they read your email even if they are interested. They might want to think about how to write a good response, or they may have other 'offers' to compare and contrast, before deciding. They might have read your email from their phone but want to wait until they are in front of a full sized keyboard before replying or whatever. They might still ignore you, of course. Assume you'll get no response (while still being respectful in what you write), then when you do get a reply from someone who is interested it'll seem much nicer. Oh, and quit messing about with fake accounts. Just man up.
irc333 Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 From what I'm reading it seems asking women a question in a way that requires an essay type of response is the main theme here. For instance, instead of asking, "What's your favorite food?" Ask, "I see you like to cook, what would you say is your best dish/cuisine?" Personally, I think most don't respond based on your stats (ie - height, income) and of course your photos, so it makes emails ratherm moot.
oaks Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 irc333, that's a good point. I think it's worth asking an open question, i.e. one that can't really be answered with just one or two words. Asking a question of any kind invites a response (which is what you want), and gives the other person an easy way of responding if they want to because they can just answer the question, but making it an open question (if they answer it) also given them a chance to open up and tell you something useful that you can respond to more easily. This isn't restricted to emails, either. Asking open questions face to face makes it easier to keep the conversation flowing and makes it seem less like an interrogation.
irc333 Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Yep, and even I had done THAT, with no responses. lol I've even found women that had the same obscure hobbies as me, like for instance some cult movie or book and talk to her about the details on a specific movie that has a cult geek following. Even with THAT, I still never got a response. It gets irritating when you FINALLY find woman you have a lot in common with, but she's not willing to talk to you about both of you and her relationship with some passion for a hobby or something. irc333, that's a good point. I think it's worth asking an open question, i.e. one that can't really be answered with just one or two words. Asking a question of any kind invites a response (which is what you want), and gives the other person an easy way of responding if they want to because they can just answer the question, but making it an open question (if they answer it) also given them a chance to open up and tell you something useful that you can respond to more easily. This isn't restricted to emails, either. Asking open questions face to face makes it easier to keep the conversation flowing and makes it seem less like an interrogation.
oaks Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 It gets irritating when you FINALLY find woman you have a lot in common with, but she's not willing to talk to you about both of you and her relationship with some passion for a hobby or something. Been there! Try and assume that they won't respond even if you have 20 obscure things in common and then it's less irritating. That also frees you up to contact people who you're "sure" won't respond because you have nothing in common with them... if you assume the people with shared interests won't get in touch then the ones without shared interests don't seem any more distant prospects. One day one of them will surprise you with a positive response and then you'll find that actually they do have a shared interest with you that they didn't even mention. Maybe.
dispatch3d Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 to crafting the perfect question, it kinda hit me. Who gives a ****? Honestly. Would a guy who gets laid 10 times a week sit down on an online dating site and think of the best one line open ended question to write? Nahhh. I think the little things like saying "haha" all the time is definitely hurting you. That was a really good suggestion. A so-called "confident" guy also wouldn't bother talking about the moon and stars to wow some girl. Again, they wouldn't care. The girl is just a girl to them. I think you put her on a pedestal by even crafting messages in that manner. prehaps using messages like this would help (feel free to rip this to shreds too though): "Hey, I noticed you are into x (we'll say rave bands) and I had to reply. I end up in raves all the time. It's just something about the music that I really enjoy. That reminds me, last week I was at this rave and me and the DJ got along great. I managed to get the guy to put on every track I liked, ha! to the world. Alllll the boys and girlllsss do dododododo." and see if she responds.
welikeincrowds Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 (feel free to rip this to shreds too though) Don't worry, that won't happen. He's asserted time and again that he has no opinion or worldview of his own.
dispatch3d Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Don't worry, that won't happen. He's asserted time and again that he has no opinion or worldview of his own. haha I figured other people will. It's not that bad an approach to have .
xpaperxcutx Posted December 10, 2010 Posted December 10, 2010 Don't worry, that won't happen. He's asserted time and again that he has no opinion or worldview of his own. :lmao: I'm sorry to say I almost feel bad for the OP.
Author U1987 Posted December 13, 2010 Author Posted December 13, 2010 to crafting the perfect question, it kinda hit me. Who gives a ****? Honestly. Would a guy who gets laid 10 times a week sit down on an online dating site and think of the best one line open ended question to write? Nahhh. Yeah, but I'm NOT getting laid 10 times a weak, so how does that apply to me? I think the little things like saying "haha" all the time is definitely hurting you. That was a really good suggestion. Fine then. A so-called "confident" guy also wouldn't bother talking about the moon and stars to wow some girl. Again, they wouldn't care. The girl is just a girl to them. I think you put her on a pedestal by even crafting messages in that manner. prehaps using messages like this would help (feel free to rip this to shreds too though): "Hey, I noticed you are into x (we'll say rave bands) and I had to reply. I end up in raves all the time. It's just something about the music that I really enjoy. That reminds me, last week I was at this rave and me and the DJ got along great. I managed to get the guy to put on every track I liked, ha! to the world. Alllll the boys and girlllsss do dododododo." and see if she responds. Well, I already sent a message to the techno-girl. Would it hurt to send a second message to her like this?
Author U1987 Posted December 13, 2010 Author Posted December 13, 2010 Stop trying so hard. For every 10 emails you sent out on a dating site, expect at most 1 to reply. I want a hire reply rate though, because just because a girl replies doesn't mean she's going to go out with you, much less hook up with you. I got 2 replies with 20 girls with my real account, 1 phone number and 0 dates. How many replies does it take to get a date?
Author U1987 Posted December 13, 2010 Author Posted December 13, 2010 Here's my latest round btw. A girl who says she's new to Seattle, "easily amused and laughs at everything", likes candy and junk food and is "a little kid at heart." Says she's also a terrible singer. So you're a terrible singer? That means you're awesome at karaoke. And I too get easily amused and laugh at everything; I think my friends and coworkers think I'm crazy cuz of it. What's good? Next one, girl same age and "sign" as me (I don't give a **** about "signs", but maybe she might) still deciding her major in college, loves kids, alt-rock and hip hop. Hey, that's cool you like alt-rock and hip hop; I'm a huge Phoenix and Kings of Leon fan, and my old band used to do rock-style interpretations of hip-hop songs. Are you musically talented at all? (PS, Karaoke and Guitar Hero don't count) A dental student who insists on being financially independent (doesn't require expensive dates from guys), hates drama and insists on finding a "laid back guy" (which she mentioned 3 times in her profile. Title: I'm pretty laid back... Message: ...with my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Sent those out last night. 2 were read but haven't responded. The last 1 hasn't been read yet.
Author U1987 Posted December 13, 2010 Author Posted December 13, 2010 Just sent out a new one too. A surgical tech who hates MMA (mixed martial arts) enthusiasts. Title: MMA guys are tools... Message: Glad I'm not the only person who thinks so. Seriously, one of my old friends is an MMA buff and he would always try to show off his "killer new move" to me and everyone, and it was sooooo annoying. Most of the time, something got broken (like a coffee table or a guitar) or he ended up hurting someone or himself. We would call him "Mac" from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Pretty cool that you're a surgical tech. I'm a molecular biology student myself. It's fun and it's a challenge, but it can be pretty gross at times. I'm sure you've had Micro. We were working with Clostridium once; I don't know if you've handled them, but those little guys smell like the devil's underwear. One kid took a whiff of the petri dish and just instantly hurled; no hesitation, just like a reflex. It was pretty vile, but in hindsight it was pretty funny. What's the grossest thing you had to handle in school?
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