Margot Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 I have been in NC since the first week he left me (almost 5 months), and my brother said to him that no matter what he did I'm not going to respond to his approach. I ignore everything because he treated me bad, and lied. Well after all, why he writes that he works a lot in his new job and tries to do lots of things to keep his mind occupied? Why he writes me that he has being doing exercises? Why he writes me that he has being doing stuff that I would like? Why he see videos of "our" songs, sad songs, and artist that I introduced him to? Why he writes me that he wants to know something about me, anything? He left me, lied to me, betrayed me, ignored me the last months together and now he does this things for the last 5 months. I'm hurt, and I still love him but sometimes I just want to understand this behavior without actually asking him. I think that he doesn't even deserved me even thinking of him.
AlisaMarie Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Margot, Sounds like ones of those don't know what ya go till it's gone cases. Just stay strong. That was nice of your brother to defend you like that but it didn't seem to work. I would just block him from everything and stay away. He treated you badly towards the end of your relationship and 5 months is way to long to keep dragging out the ending. I have been on and off with my ex for 5 months...he texted me while I was eating Thanksgiving dinner how great I was but we had to go our separate ways... for now. For now? Really? After 4 breakups...in a year and 3 months total you are still going to try to leave the door cracked? Close it ! That's what I am going to do.
Author Margot Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 Margot, Sounds like ones of those don't know what ya go till it's gone cases. Just stay strong. That was nice of your brother to defend you like that but it didn't seem to work. I would just block him from everything and stay away. He treated you badly towards the end of your relationship and 5 months is way to long to keep dragging out the ending. I have been on and off with my ex for 5 months...he texted me while I was eating Thanksgiving dinner how great I was but we had to go our separate ways... for now. For now? Really? After 4 breakups...in a year and 3 months total you are still going to try to leave the door cracked? Close it ! That's what I am going to do. Thanks for your reply. I know that me closing that door is for the best. But I can't hide the fact that I think about him and try to understand his behavior after he left me and I clearly think is going out with a co-worker. I'm not going to let him "has his cake and eat it too". I was with my bf for 6 years and we broke up twice. I understand you completely. My ex also texts me a lot but hey if you left me, treated me bad and rejected me I think it was for something. We must think that this ship has sailed and it's too late for them. Hope everything goes well with you.
AlisaMarie Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Yep... mine is seeing a co-worker of his that was just his "friend." Yeah right! He was lying to her about being with me, then he must be lying to me! He left my house and went straight to hers after he left on Thanksgiving morning. Gross! They can have each others grimy selves. I am better than that... and YOU are too! <3
cerridwen Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Margot, has he ever admitted his lies, apologized or done anything along those lines other than hold onto his pride and allude to missing you by mentioning past songs and such? Because anything short of begging you back is ridiculous and you're right to stick to NC. Possible reasons he's doing this: 1) He likes the chase now that you've made yourself unavailable 2) He misses you but is too prideful to admit it 3) He's testing your mettle, seeing if he can break through for his ego or because he needs to feel needed 4) You've hit his ego and he's looking for validation Just some thoughts.
Author Margot Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 Yep... mine is seeing a co-worker of his that was just his "friend." Yeah right! He was lying to her about being with me, then he must be lying to me! He left my house and went straight to hers after he left on Thanksgiving morning. Gross! They can have each others grimy selves. I am better than that... and YOU are too! <3 I know the "just his friend" excuse. At the end of our relationship he started hanging more and more with this girl and sometimes we used to hang out in various occasions. But something inside of me was telling me that there was something suspicious. Until this day he hasn't admitted to me that they are together but I just know. And mine the day after he broke up with me, she was hanging out with her. Sometimes this is just unbelievable, when the day before he was saying that he loved me, I was the love of his life, that he needed to be alone and find himself, that maybe in the future we could be together. yeah right. I'm just dealing with the fact that although I love him and miss him, I deserve better than that and that I'm better than that. You are better than that too. BTW You still hang out with your ex?
Author Margot Posted November 28, 2010 Author Posted November 28, 2010 Margot, has he ever admitted his lies, apologized or done anything along those lines other than hold onto his pride and allude to missing you by mentioning past songs and such? Because anything short of begging you back is ridiculous and you're right to stick to NC. Possible reasons he's doing this: 1) He likes the chase now that you've made yourself unavailable 2) He misses you but is too prideful to admit it 3) He's testing your mettle, seeing if he can break through for his ego or because he needs to feel needed 4) You've hit his ego and he's looking for validation Just some thoughts. Hey Cerridwen, I must tell you that in all of his 1,000 e-mails/texts that he has sent me in the past 5 months in none of them there is an apology, an I'm sorry, or anything similar. He just started to e-mail like nothing happened and just talked about things. You know that during our relationship I always sent him lots of stuff via e-mail and sometimes he didn't care and now he's sending me more e-mails than he ever did for 6 years of our relationship. Don't worry, I have been in NC for almost 5 months and I'm sticking to it. I just think that he doesn't believe that I have stick to my guns when he was used to having me chasing him, calling him, and yes begging him for two days. He's trying anything to see if I break my NC. In those messages he even drop questions of stuff on tv, of stupid conversations he had with mutual friends. His messages are sort of a way of communicating with me, because he writes real conversations...just that I don't answer to anything. If he wants an ego boost, he can just sit and wait for it. He treated me bad and ignored me for the last months of our relationships and know he wants to talk to me and joke with me like nothing happened? No mister.
cerridwen Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 Hey Cerridwen, I must tell you that in all of his 1,000 e-mails/texts that he has sent me in the past 5 months in none of them there is an apology, an I'm sorry, or anything similar. He just started to e-mail like nothing happened and just talked about things. You know that during our relationship I always sent him lots of stuff via e-mail and sometimes he didn't care and now he's sending me more e-mails than he ever did for 6 years of our relationship. Don't worry, I have been in NC for almost 5 months and I'm sticking to it. I just think that he doesn't believe that I have stick to my guns when he was used to having me chasing him, calling him, and yes begging him for two days. He's trying anything to see if I break my NC. In those messages he even drop questions of stuff on tv, of stupid conversations he had with mutual friends. His messages are sort of a way of communicating with me, because he writes real conversations...just that I don't answer to anything. If he wants an ego boost, he can just sit and wait for it. He treated me bad and ignored me for the last months of our relationships and know he wants to talk to me and joke with me like nothing happened? No mister. You're one of the strongest people on this forum Margot, I love reading your posts. You admit to the feelings of hurt and confusion but you have such a great sense of self-worth, it's fantastic. Hang in there!!!
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