thevolver Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Take it from someone's whose made all the wrong choices after being dumped. 1. If someone want's space, give it to them. 2. When someone leaves, let them, allow them the time to start missing you. 3. DO NOT beg for them to come back, your self respect should always be very important to you, and besides if your'e still pining for your ex, they will not come back to someone who they think needs them more than they need them. Be Strong. 4. DO NOT threaten self harm in order to get them to come back, if you feel that you may become depressed and/or self harm. Seek comfort from your friends and family, lean on them. They care for you. 5. Don't speak to their friends about them stating how much you miss them or how depressed you are, or chastise any friends of theirs who you may think contributed to the breakup 6. EVERY COUPLE goes through a period where one partner may become frustrated or unhappy with the relationship and start to think the grass is greener, when you see this happening to your significant other, end it. Allow them to experience what they need, don't hang onto them as this will only make them resent you. If you do this , more often than not they will realize how much you love them and come running back eventually. 7. Learn to appreciate yourself and get focused back on yourself, a major reason most healthy couples break is simply that one partner loses their goals and their spouse becomes their main priority, this can be suffocating in addition to causing a loss of interest, human beings are attracted to those individuals who know what they want out of life. 8. EXERCISE! 9. DO NOT contact your ex, avoid snooping on social networking sites, put away (notice put away not destroy) all things in your living/working space that remind you of them 10. DO NOT rush into a new relationship, allow yourself the time to grieve and get over your ex. 11. If your ex comes back, realize it may not be for the better, ensure that whatever issues lead to the breakup is understood by both parties and that you both plan to work on this. 12. If your ex doesn't come back, it is not your fault, nor is it theirs. While you may feel they are the only one for you, this is NEVER true. There is always someone else right around the corner. 13. Learn to enjoy being a complete person on your own, this will ensure that the next relationship you enter will not be based on a need for acknowledgement or acceptance from others, but rather genuine love for oneself and the other individual.
bl22 Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Damn gotta admit i was guilty of most of these after my breakup
AlisaMarie Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Thank you! It's really hard to follow these tips when you feel so low from a break up, but you must. Too many times we let the past control our actions. Have to focus on today!
Author thevolver Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 Your welcome, keep motivated for the sake of your self. You both can do it.
ReturnToSender Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 Great info and reminder, even for now when its been awhile since our breakup... Definitely dont do what I did, spin into an emotional wreckage of tears, texts, calls, novella emails....and completely totally erase the phrase "but whyyyy!" from your vocabulary. Trust me...on this. hah! *sigh*
LovelyDaze Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 After a breakup, it always seems as if you and your ex are the last two people on earth and that you have NO chance in meeting anyone new. We tend to forget that there are nearly 7 BILLION people on earth and especially if you venture outside or already live in a sizable town, you walk by a new person everyday. You walk past them at the grocery store, a football game, the laundromat, paying your utility bill, at college, even at the dentist office. ANYWHERE is a chance to meet someone new. I love these tips and followed just about all of them!It's been a year since my bad break up and I'm in a great place now where I am ready to love again
Trovador Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 What about don't let them see your tears, because they might get back to you out of pity... or just pity you... In other words, learn to be funny by yourself, because this will help you in making it through this hard time that, even if you don't believe it now, it isn't that hard...
germain Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 I'm still trying to figure out the focusing on yourself thing and not making them a priority...
J Wool Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 Great points and if they jump back into the dating pool, don't act jealous or criticize the person they are with, on the other hand bite the thought and wish him/her all the best (reverse psychology).
Am4Real Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 Take it from someone's whose made all the wrong choices after being dumped. Great advice for many on this forum.
9Lives Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 Take it from someone's whose made all the wrong choices after being dumped. 1. If someone want's space, give it to them. 2. When someone leaves, let them, allow them the time to start missing you. 3. DO NOT beg for them to come back, your self respect should always be very important to you, and besides if your'e still pining for your ex, they will not come back to someone who they think needs them more than they need them. Be Strong. 4. DO NOT threaten self harm in order to get them to come back, if you feel that you may become depressed and/or self harm. Seek comfort from your friends and family, lean on them. They care for you. 5. Don't speak to their friends about them stating how much you miss them or how depressed you are, or chastise any friends of theirs who you may think contributed to the breakup 6. EVERY COUPLE goes through a period where one partner may become frustrated or unhappy with the relationship and start to think the grass is greener, when you see this happening to your significant other, end it. Allow them to experience what they need, don't hang onto them as this will only make them resent you. If you do this , more often than not they will realize how much you love them and come running back eventually. 7. Learn to appreciate yourself and get focused back on yourself, a major reason most healthy couples break is simply that one partner loses their goals and their spouse becomes their main priority, this can be suffocating in addition to causing a loss of interest, human beings are attracted to those individuals who know what they want out of life. 8. EXERCISE! 9. DO NOT contact your ex, avoid snooping on social networking sites, put away (notice put away not destroy) all things in your living/working space that remind you of them 10. DO NOT rush into a new relationship, allow yourself the time to grieve and get over your ex. 11. If your ex comes back, realize it may not be for the better, ensure that whatever issues lead to the breakup is understood by both parties and that you both plan to work on this. 12. If your ex doesn't come back, it is not your fault, nor is it theirs. While you may feel they are the only one for you, this is NEVER true. There is always someone else right around the corner. 13. Learn to enjoy being a complete person on your own, this will ensure that the next relationship you enter will not be based on a need for acknowledgement or acceptance from others, but rather genuine love for oneself and the other individual. Beautiful...beautiful...beautiful...LS Bible!!
Fufu Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 Wahahahah can't stop laughing at myself. I did all these mistakes after my ex-bf break up with me. It's only after 1 month, I truly wake up and stop all these....
Username37 Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 I did most of these things, but it's only natural because we still love them. I'm looking back and I'm surprised how far I've gotten. If I didn't find LS, I'd probably still be crying in my bed trying to get her back haha
lekker01234 Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 Awsome pointers. I think this is truly the break up Bible. Good job!
hART Posted November 27, 2010 Posted November 27, 2010 Good tips, I'm really bad at #6, I tend to cling to people, since I'm introverted and don't keep in contact with friends. It might have saved, every relationship that ever mattered to me.
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