Carm Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 I don't normally write on these forums but thought I'd like to get some feedback on this. I've been dating a guy for 5 months and everything is going great. A married male client (20 years older than I am) has asked me out for dinner. A Xmas gift, as a thank you. I have been his Personal Trainer for over a year now and he's seeing big improvements in his body and how he feels. Anyway, I accepted without even asking my bf if this was cool. Well, apparently he's been stewing about this since I told him 2 weeks ago. He feels its totally inappropriate and that this guy is interested in only one thing. He also feels I'm being naive if I think any man would just ask a girl out for any reason other than he is interested. Now, the truth is he has never crossed that line with me AND if he does I am not interested. I enjoy his company and nothing more. At this point, I feel it would look bad to tell him I can no longer go out and professionally its not a good move. I understand that he doesn't feel comfortable and at best, all I can and did say was this is an isolated incident and I don't make it a habit to go out with clients. Apparently this is not good enough but if I cancel then I will resent him and I'm not about to cancel. Am I being unreasonable?
Str8noChaser Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 You have to ask yourself, is this dinner out (with a client who can fire me on a whim for no reason at all & never see again before the dinner date even happens) is worth your boyfriends feelings. Or, you can turn it around, say he's been a womans trainer for the same amount of time & she wants to take him out to dinner as a thank you & he says yes without telling you & when you express concern, he pushes the issue & seems upset he can't go. How would you feel?
Star Gazer Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 BF's feelings come first here. And professionally it would look good, as you're not mixing business with pleasure. BTW... I realize the stores put out Christmas stuff super early, but seeing as he asked 2 weeks ago, isn't that way early to give you a Christmas present?? Sounds like your client as an ulterior motive, IMO.
Str8noChaser Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Oh & if saving professional face is whats concerning you with your client, you can be honest with him. Tell him you jumped the gun & didnt factor in your significant others feelings & in retrospect didn't feel it was appropriate to accept & you hope he understands. Now depending on his reaction, you'll see whether his intentions were platonic or not. Were it me, I'd respect your honesty & will tell you to take your boyfriend & enjoy the Xmas gift together. Interesting to know what your client would say.
D-Lish Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 What you're being is naive. Your "older client" wants this to be a date. If you agree to this, you're agreeing to go out on a date, I'd be pissed if I was your bf as well.
Sarah1977 Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Honestly, I probably wouldn't cancel. I would go. But then again, I am a business owner myself and I understand how important it is to maintain a professional, positive reputation at all times. I don't risk it for anyone. I would apologize to my boyfriend profusely and promise it wouldn't happen again. But ultimately, he should trust you. You accepted that offer in good faith. And who knows? Maybe that offer was given in good faith. Either way, you're not going to screw a client because that would be bad for business, too, and boyfriend should recognize that. So go, be polite and professional, and the next time you're invited to something like this, you can politely decline since now you're aware that it would hurt your boyfriends feelings to go. (That is, assuming, you're willing to indulge his jealousy.)
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