qinboxmail Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 Okay, I was fixing my gf computer then I came across the yahoo messenger messages. So it's like this my gf tells the other guy that he should a job to get marry the guy asks marry who my gf: marry me so you can call me a wife I confronted her and she says she was playing with him. I told her it was flirting and she denied. She says she knows him for like 3 years and he lives far away. So what should I do ?
Andy_K Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 That's pretty tame and non-sexual. I'd let it go.
Sivok Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 Lol, I have a friend who I joke around with like that all the time. We talk about getting married and moving to Amsterdam, but it's all completely in jest. I see her like a sister more than anything, don't fret
alexlakeman Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 How would she like it / handle it if it was the other way around? Install keylogger and monitor her activity for a few weeks.
BS76 Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 You strike me as being pretty young, so hopefully you've got some time to figure things out. You need to establish what your standards and expectations of behavior are and communicate them to the woman you're in a relationship with. Furthermore you must articulate what the consequences will be if she fails to measure up. Lastly, you must be willing to walk away if she doesn't. FYI, the willingness to walk away is massively important, not to mention attractive in a reverse psychology sort of chick logic way. Doubly so if you have other women you're seeing.
counterman Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 I agree with what BS76. That instances of your situation reminds me of the crap that my ex-girlfriend use to say. "It is not flirting; it's friendly banter", "Sometimes friendliest instigates flirting... but there's no harm to it". She was getting ego shots and attention from other guys. The issue was that I tolerated such behavior, and she ends up dating that jerk, who use to be my friend, that use to flirt with her. It's up to you to set the boundaries, so that if these are crossed and she doesn't respect your boundaries then you know what you have to do. From my own experience, it had made me better in the sense that I knew what sough of behavior should never take from anyone. My life has thus been better.
BackUpOrGetStung Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 At least, start talking to other girls too. May as well have a back up plan if it doesn't work with her.
carhill Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 Is the girl this person? Anyway, I start to like another girl after we break up. Then recently I heard that she goes with other guys; weird guys that are into her sexually; might abuse her who knows; online guys. She needed to talk to people because she doesn't have a lot of friends. She goes online and ran into creepers. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t241725/
Author qinboxmail Posted October 29, 2010 Author Posted October 29, 2010 What would you guys do if you were in my situation ? Thanks
BackUpOrGetStung Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 I would keep her around and watch her more closely, just don't get anymore emotionally invested with her than you are. Start to distance yourself from her and if you think something is up for real, then start talking to other women and making an escape plan to get out of this relationship.
BS76 Posted October 29, 2010 Posted October 29, 2010 (edited) What would you guys do if you were in my situation ? Thanks Tell her you feel it's disrespectful and inappropriate and that if she can't understand why then maybe she's not mature enough for you to be in a relationship with, that you won't tolerate it and if she does it again you two are through. See how that takes what you're feeling about the subject and put into the framework I stated above? Something else you can do to help her undstand your point of view is to flip things around. For example: How would you feel if you used my computer to check email, but I left my facebook account open and you noticed a bunch of messages between me and a hot girls talking about how we're going to get cheat and mess around? Wouldn't be too thrilled now would you, right? The general principle is to get her to be empathetic to your perspective. You do this be making her feel how it would be if things were reversed. Using good descriptive language certainly helps to get her into the storytelling so he can adequately "feel" the situation. Read this for more info: http://funandsocial.blogspot.com/2010/01/how-to-argue-with-women.html Edited October 29, 2010 by BS76
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