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we just broke up, and she wrote me a letter.


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Posted (edited)

We broke up today, mainly because she showed lots of disrespected and in many ways cheated on me(except sexually). We had a talk a few hours ago to end things and I let my emotions got the best of me and got a bit angry at her and just said what I wanted to say really fast and a bit upset and and left.

 

Now she wrote me a letter on facebook:

 

To you

 

This is the first time I'm writing something like this, and its probably the last time too.

 

 

everyone says im drunk tonight

 

 

but, hey, Im not drunk..,look,,I can still type, right?Its just that my head feels so heavy right now。

 

So。this is the only thing I've written to you while I'm drunk。

 

 

 

Actually I predicted a ending like this a long time ago,But it came too early and too fast,。so fast and so early I couldn't even predict it。

 

I don't blame you, really.

 

 

If two people kept a standoff like this going on and on,one person has to make a decision, right?so,I don't blame you, really.

 

 

 

I just hate myself,and how I squandered and wasted the two opportunities you gave me。

 

 

The 18th of September。8 more days. Just 8 more days until our 5 month anniversary.。

 

But now, there perhaps isn't really any point or meaning to any of that stuff.

 

 

I'm really thankful that you appeared in my life,and how you took me to so many places and let me experience so many different views and locations.

 

Thank you。

 

 

However,the current state of Me,can't afford to go anywhere。

 

because,there are memories that exist everywhere。

 

So full of them,the memories that we shared。

 

Actually, just then in our final talk, I didn't say it to you。Because its not really necessary anymore , You had already spoken your final words.

 

 

So there wasn't any point. You said, time to breakup。

 

However,lastly,i wanted to say。。

 

Sorry,I don't want to split up,

 

Sorry,I can't let this go。

 

But, you probably don't really care anymore.

 

 

Yeah, you don't really care anymore。

 

No matter how manys to say I've been wrong。no matter how many to say I want you back 。

 

You don't really care anymore。

 

So, just leave it.

 

 

Whether to say that I've never ever hated you

 

 

Or whether to say I am still thinking of you

 

 

None of this has any point or meaning anymore.

 

 

You've already set off on a journey thats distant from me.

 

Just like you said, from now onwards, everyone goes on their own separate paths.

 

 

However.

 

 

(My name), Thank you. I don't know how long its gonna take, to have me forget about you, to forget about the times we've been together.

 

 

Thank you, for having been part of my life.

 

 

Only its so unfortunate, I didn't wait until 5 months came up.

 

 

I didn't wait for one year to come up.

 

 

Thank you.

 

 

I love you.

 

 

Goodbye.

 

 

Goodbye.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyone help me out on this? a bit depressed right now. its 2 am and friends are all either asleep or busy.

 

How do I analyse this and what should I do?

 

 

 

After the breakup talk, I simply texted her, "have a good life." She texted me a couple of texts like:"how can I have a good life without you"

 

but i ignored them (as advised by LS'ers)

 

then she went on facebook and starting talking to me. I first ignored but then she kept on talking with random emoticons/smileys, and I replied, "?"

 

she replied with more emoticons/smileys and I wrote, "I'm sorry, but I thought we already finished our talk?" And wrote :"what do you want? that scarf I still owe you?" "I will give it back soon."

 

and she wrote a bunch of stuff about her being drunk etc etc and I ignored her.

 

Please help. Did I do the right thing? Or should I have never replied at all.

Edited by p0w3r
Posted

You should never reply and just let her be. She was so use to having you there and having you around, having you to call upon that it is natural to feel a sense of longing. Do not fall for any of this and just ignore any of her attempts to contact you. She will eventually stop.

 

With that letter, she is trying to guilt-trip you. Of course she does miss you... and I am sure you miss her but you have to stay strong. Remember all the issues you had? They aren't going to go away. So, don't allow yourself to reply to her.

 

Now is the time to just do the things you want without her. That means going out with your mates and hanging with family.

  • Author
Posted
You should never reply and just let her be. She was so use to having you there and having you around, having you to call upon that it is natural to feel a sense of longing. Do not fall for any of this and just ignore any of her attempts to contact you. She will eventually stop.

 

With that letter, she is trying to guilt-trip you. Of course she does miss you... and I am sure you miss her but you have to stay strong. Remember all the issues you had? They aren't going to go away. So, don't allow yourself to reply to her.

 

Now is the time to just do the things you want without her. That means going out with your mates and hanging with family.

 

Thanks for your reply.

 

This is the final stage in all this probably.

 

Yes, I think she is used to having me around. But when you are 19 and pretty its easy as pie to find boys wanting to comfort you. She already has 45 replies to the facebook relationship change.

 

I kind of feel that what she is saying here isn't really what she's feeling. Why didn't she say any of this in person? Admittedly, during that talk I dominated the talk (but she didn't seem to want to say much), and probably didnt give her a chance to talk, but if she really wanted to tell me this she'd have done this in person. (I was a bit overridden by emotion and just rushed my words quickly and wanted to end it asap after telling her how I felt about what she did and she asked me what event thats making you do this)

 

I could see her eyes going red and watery when I send:"you broke the rules, cross the boundaries, its over."

 

But I think what she said in this letter isnt what she actually thinks. the way she said: "there is no point in telling you that i want you back anymore since you've already said its over and doesnt care anymore" kind of signals to me that she in her mind thinks that she doesnt really care about wanting me back anymore, and just to support her own high moral ground, putting forward an excuse and blaming it on me for why she is not going to actually SAY she wants me back, when she doesn't want to say that anyways.

 

So she says :she wants to say wants me back but there isn't any point in saying it now because you dont care anymore", but she real intention is she doesn't actually want to say this anyways, but she puts my "not caring and claiming its already over" as the blockade/obstacle and the reason for her not saying it.

 

Cos if she actually did want me back she'd have said it regardless, right?

 

Am I over analysing things or do I have a point?

Posted
You should never reply and just let her be. She was so use to having you there and having you around, having you to call upon that it is natural to feel a sense of longing. Do not fall for any of this and just ignore any of her attempts to contact you. She will eventually stop.

 

With that letter, she is trying to guilt-trip you. Of course she does miss you... and I am sure you miss her but you have to stay strong. Remember all the issues you had? They aren't going to go away. So, don't allow yourself to reply to her.

 

Now is the time to just do the things you want without her. That means going out with your mates and hanging with family.

 

She feels this way because her other guy wouldn't fill her day up like you could. He only saw her when it was convinent for him & that worked for her because she could use you to fill in that empty space.

But, now you are gone the OM is still giving her the same time so now she is lonely.

 

Same thing happened with my wife after I kicked her out for cheating on me.

  • Author
Posted
She feels this way because her other guy wouldn't fill her day up like you could. He only saw her when it was convinent for him & that worked for her because she could use you to fill in that empty space.

But, now you are gone the OM is still giving her the same time so now she is lonely.

 

Same thing happened with my wife after I kicked her out for cheating on me.

 

What you are saying is probably right.

 

But in this case the OM lives in the same building as her. So I think she can just easily fill in that time. Who knows, that guy doesnt have any girls in his life apart from this ex that i just broke up with, so I'm sure she'd not have trouble filling in that time. He did her lots of favors like buying her candy and coffees etc etc so hes interested in her in some ways.

 

what do you think I should to expect from her from now on? More messages like this? Or will she probably not contact me anymore after the harsh words I said in our final meeting. (I didn't shout, but was a bit annoyed and said things fast and unkind)

Posted

You are probably right. She doesn't feel what she say she does through the letter. She's playing the victim's role. Usually when someone knows they are wrong and wants to make amends, they will be specific about it and they will show some remorse. From what I have gathered, it doesn't seem she truly understood how you felt about this. You were there for her only when it was convenient as phineas said.

 

You could expect for texts, facebook messages, etc. from her. So, I would recommend you block her on facebook, delete her number, so forth. Trust me, you'll waste too much time looking at her facebook.

 

I would also like to say good on you. You broke it off and stayed strong. I know it is a tough thing to do because I couldn't do it myself even when I was mistreated. Most important thing I learnt was actions speak louder than words. They really do.

Posted
You should never reply and just let her be. She was so use to having you there and having you around, having you to call upon that it is natural to feel a sense of longing. Do not fall for any of this and just ignore any of her attempts to contact you. She will eventually stop.

 

With that letter, she is trying to guilt-trip you. Of course she does miss you... and I am sure you miss her but you have to stay strong. Remember all the issues you had? They aren't going to go away. So, don't allow yourself to reply to her.

 

Now is the time to just do the things you want without her. That means going out with your mates and hanging with family.

 

Solid advice, listen to this.

 

I would delete her number, her facebook (block her btw) and get on it with new women or chill with friends.

 

Enjoy the fact you are a singleton and only wasted five months with her. Oh and try and learn from your mistakes in this relationship i.e. being a doormat and make sure it doesn't happen again.

Posted

My guess is this letter really could be the final message you get from her. Even so, it would still be wise to not reply to it. I understand that reading it will make you feel a bit down, but don't give in just yet. The key at this point isn't whether she sends you more messages; the key is how you're going to move away from this situation for the proceeding future.

 

You just have to continue on and not wonder about this stuff anymore.

  • Author
Posted
You are probably right. She doesn't feel what she say she does through the letter. She's playing the victim's role. Usually when someone knows they are wrong and wants to make amends, they will be specific about it and they will show some remorse. From what I have gathered, it doesn't seem she truly understood how you felt about this. You were there for her only when it was convenient as phineas said.

 

You could expect for texts, facebook messages, etc. from her. So, I would recommend you block her on facebook, delete her number, so forth. Trust me, you'll waste too much time looking at her facebook.

 

I would also like to say good on you. You broke it off and stayed strong. I know it is a tough thing to do because I couldn't do it myself even when I was mistreated. Most important thing I learnt was actions speak louder than words. They really do.

 

So you are saying that this letter wasn't what she really thought? What do you mean that she'll be more specific and show remorse? What would the letter have looked like if she was "more specific and show remorse"?

 

She wrote this to me, even though it may not be what she actually thinks, I think is her bowing down to me. I think if she truly wanted to get rid of me in her life she would have just been like, hey, you are right about everything, you want me to disappear from your life? sure I will please you. rather than this thing about still wanting me back and still saying she never knows how long it'll take her to forget about me and what we've been through.

 

To be honest, I felt a sense of self-satisfaction when I saw this letter. Also I felt that I rushed my words too much, almost like a pouring a bucket of water out and then left things dry instead of slowing trickling my words and wait for responses. So I almost never gave her an opportunity to speak as I was too concernted with pouring my own words out. What you think about this?

 

You want me to delete her off facebook? Can't I just still check facebook and just pretend I didn't see them? And not give any response to anything she writes to me?

 

Also what do you mean I was there only when it was convenient? I do believe I did much of the same to her too, as in, I went to see her only when I had nothing else to do. What made you think she only saw me when it was convenient?

 

Either way, should I believe what she says from the letter? Or just totally label it as a guilt-feeding letter?

 

I don't get why she said in there she's wrong and she wants me back.

  • Author
Posted
My guess is this letter really could be the final message you get from her. Even so, it would still be wise to not reply to it. I understand that reading it will make you feel a bit down, but don't give in just yet. The key at this point isn't whether she sends you more messages; the key is how you're going to move away from this situation for the proceeding future.

 

You just have to continue on and not wonder about this stuff anymore.

 

Thanks for sticking with me these few days.

 

Why do you say this is the final message I receive from her?

 

I felt a bit down when I first read it, but as I read it again I felt a sense of satisfaction that she almost speaks like she's desperate for me to get back with her. I thought she might be like, "hey, hope you are satisfied now, be happy, you are free from me, guess u finally achieved what u wanted to achieve :)"

 

Do you think I should believe her words? Or just treat it as a letter trying to say she never cared about this relationship.

 

I feel like replying, and "owning" her through words like a war of words to make her feel bad, should I? I don't see why she wrote this letter to me when I made it clear that its over in person, and quite loud.

 

I want her to miss me, I want her to come back begging for me, I know that sounds like a bit immature, but I want her to know what she's lost and ruined.

 

She admited her faults when I told her what she had done wrong (she asked me why are you like this now? What you think I did wrong?) and I explained to her.

 

Right now I am just gonna believe that what she said she somewhat mean it at least.

 

Because I think she simply could have been much more aggressive and more of a jerk about it. Like, "hey, congrats on having so much new freedom now, hope you are satisfied after all this work you put in. see ya."

 

Now she's saying she wants me back. If she wanted to keep her pride and maintain her ego why didn't she need to say those things. She could have simply be like "hope ur happy with the outcome, if not, then too bad, i dont live my life to keep you happy."

Posted (edited)

What I mean by that is that there would have been no letter. She would run right to you, on her knees, apologise specifically for what she did wrong, and etc. Basically, it was never going to happen. They're just words.

 

I am not telling you to do anything, just recommending. I would block her on facebook because I have had similar experiences where I left my ex-girlfriend's IM contact and, everytime I went on, I was distracted. I even contacted her a few times. To be honest, this dragged out me getting over much longer than if it would have it stuck with no contact. You could leave her on facebook, but, really, what's the point? So, you could see photoes with her and the new guy she's seeing? So, you would be able to see update on her status?

 

Ever heard of the saying "you want what you can't have"? There might be a bit of this in your situation as well. She just feels that she can't have you anymore, which makes her want you. She doesn't really want to be together.

 

She only saw you when it was convenient because she was hanging out with the other guy a lot. That's what I thought. And, if you only saw her when it was convenient, then that more than justifies you ending it.

 

I would just take it as a guilt-tripping letter.

 

She might have said those things to try to convince herself, to try to play the victim. Look at it this way, would she say "It's your fault that I was hanging out with that guy a lot"?. No. She's saying she wants you back only because it makes her our to be a nicer person. In all honesty, she probably didn't care too much about the relationship. Actually, I really don't know.

 

But, I do think you are looking into things too much, overanalysing things that you shouldn't overanalyse. There is nothing wrong with that though. Most of us are like that, especially after a break-up. Fact is it is over. The more you dwell on this stuff, the longer it will drag on.

 

It's normal to want answers and to ask why, and even if you continue this way and keep thinking about this, you will be alright either way.

Edited by counterman
Posted
Thanks for sticking with me these few days.

 

Why do you say this is the final message I receive from her?

 

I felt a bit down when I first read it, but as I read it again I felt a sense of satisfaction that she almost speaks like she's desperate for me to get back with her. I thought she might be like, "hey, hope you are satisfied now, be happy, you are free from me, guess u finally achieved what u wanted to achieve :)"

 

Do you think I should believe her words? Or just treat it as a letter trying to say she never cared about this relationship.

 

I feel like replying, and "owning" her through words like a war of words to make her feel bad, should I? I don't see why she wrote this letter to me when I made it clear that its over in person, and quite loud.

 

I want her to miss me, I want her to come back begging for me, I know that sounds like a bit immature, but I want her to know what she's lost and ruined.

 

She admited her faults when I told her what she had done wrong (she asked me why are you like this now? What you think I did wrong?) and I explained to her.

 

Right now I am just gonna believe that what she said she somewhat mean it at least.

 

Because I think she simply could have been much more aggressive and more of a jerk about it. Like, "hey, congrats on having so much new freedom now, hope you are satisfied after all this work you put in. see ya."

 

Now she's saying she wants me back. If she wanted to keep her pride and maintain her ego why didn't she need to say those things. She could have simply be like "hope ur happy with the outcome, if not, then too bad, i dont live my life to keep you happy."

 

The closing of the letter makes it sound like she won't be sending anymore. However, knowing women in general, she likely will send you another. Doesn't mean you need to respond to it, tho.

 

The bolded is your biggest issue at this point.

 

Why can't you just look at the letter for what it is instead of needing to make her feel bad? Don't you think that's...urm, I dunno. Childish at this point? What will you possibly gain from doing that? Aside from hurting her feelings, nothing can be gained from this.

 

I honestly can't figure out your stance at this point. It sounds like you really don't want it to be over at this point, which would explain why you still want to message her to make her feel bad instead of simply moving on.

  • Author
Posted
What I mean by that is that there would have been no letter. She would run right to you, on her knees, apologise specifically for what she did wrong, and etc. Basically, it was never going to happen. They're just words.

 

I am not telling you to do anything, just recommending. I would block her on facebook because I have had similar experiences where I left my ex-girlfriend's IM contact and, everytime I went on, I was distracted. I even contacted her a few times. To be honest, this dragged out me getting over much longer than if it would have it stuck with no contact. You could leave her on facebook, but, really, what's the point? So, you could see photoes with her and the new guy she's seeing? So, you would be able to see update on her status?

 

Ever heard of the saying "you want what you can't have"? There might be a bit of this in your situation as well. She just feels that she can't have you anymore, which makes her want you. She doesn't really want to be together.

 

She only saw you when it was convenient because she was hanging out with the other guy a lot. That's what I thought. And, if you only saw her when it was convenient, then that more than justifies you ending it.

 

I would just take it as a guilt-tripping letter.

 

She might have said those things to try to convince herself, to try to play the victim. Look at it this way, would she say "It's your fault that I was hanging out with that guy a lot"?. No. She's saying she wants you back only because it makes her our to be a nicer person. In all honesty, she probably didn't care too much about the relationship. Actually, I really don't know.

 

But, I do think you are looking into things too much, overanalysing things that you shouldn't overanalyse. There is nothing wrong with that though. Most of us are like that, especially after a break-up. Fact is it is over. The more you dwell on this stuff, the longer it will drag on.

 

It's normal to want answers and to ask why, and even if you continue this way and keep thinking about this, you will be alright either way.

 

Well, I have to admit at times I only saw her when it was convenient. Yes, I made many sacrifices and cancelled other arrangements to see her, but after a few of the incidents I described, I judged her differently and didn't make that big of an effort to see her. I went to see her often yes, but I hadn't put that as a high priority. In fact she had often gotten angry at me before for hanging out with my friends (although mostly they were male and she knew them) and not hanging out with her. (she once gave me an ultimatum and said..its either me or him in ur life).

 

Yeah, I guess if she REALLY wanted to continue the relationship, even though after those harsh words were said to me in the final talk (this is over between you and me. you get on with ur life and I get on with mine. You won't be in my life and I won't be in ur life from now on. We are not friends, we are not enemies. I dont love you, i dont hate you.) (I saw tears in her eyes when I said this btw.)

 

I think I said all of that very quickly and so thats why she didnt have a chance to say that she didnt want to end it. Either way, she would have chased after me and begged for my forgiveness even after I said those words, right?

 

She tried to explain that she wasn't sleeping with him etc, and she doesnt go hang out with him everyday and wasn't actually planning to stay at his house til 9 but rather something like 7. I said, ok, I believe what you say and I never suspected of any sexual cheating. but I was angry with you because you slept over at his house. she admited that was wrong and I ended the conversation there with those words I said in the brackets above.

 

But I don't get how does it make her a nicer person if she wants me back? She could have simply said:"im sorry. I dont deserve to be in your life. I'll leave you alone and let you go your own path."

 

I think her saying she wanting me back and loves me is a way for me to still back with her in to the relationship.

 

? opinions?

  • Author
Posted
The closing of the letter makes it sound like she won't be sending anymore. However, knowing women in general, she likely will send you another. Doesn't mean you need to respond to it, tho.

 

The bolded is your biggest issue at this point.

 

Why can't you just look at the letter for what it is instead of needing to make her feel bad? Don't you think that's...urm, I dunno. Childish at this point? What will you possibly gain from doing that? Aside from hurting her feelings, nothing can be gained from this.

 

I honestly can't figure out your stance at this point. It sounds like you really don't want it to be over at this point, which would explain why you still want to message her to make her feel bad instead of simply moving on.

 

I actually really want this relationship to be over. However I think she deserves to be feeling bad about this. I think its necessary that she needs to feel bad. Because how can I let her go so easily when she deserves a bad treatment? She's not only done bad things to me but to others too.

 

And oh, why do you think she'll send me another? I quite frankly think she's not that obssessed with me to send me too many messages, although she would still want to get back together. Agree?

Posted

I don't know why she would say those things. One reason I think she may have was to put the idea of getting back together in your head. For whatever reasons, I don't know. Probably to fill that void that you use to cover. But, it doesn't matter.

 

If she feels bad or not, it should be of no concern to you. All that matters now is how YOU feel.

  • Author
Posted
I don't know why she would say those things. One reason I think she may have was to put the idea of getting back together in your head. For whatever reasons, I don't know. Probably to fill that void that you use to cover. But, it doesn't matter.

 

If she feels bad or not, it should be of no concern to you. All that matters now is how YOU feel.

 

I feel better when she feels worse.

 

what do you mean by"fill the void that you use to cover?"

  • Author
Posted
My guess is this letter really could be the final message you get from her. Even so, it would still be wise to not reply to it. I understand that reading it will make you feel a bit down, but don't give in just yet. The key at this point isn't whether she sends you more messages; the key is how you're going to move away from this situation for the proceeding future.

 

You just have to continue on and not wonder about this stuff anymore.

 

Ok CJ, in your opinion, what do you think about the letter?

 

I'm just going to let the letter stuff go. Can't be bothered thinking and plotting against her. Wastes even more time. My friend who got beaten up by her decided to not revenge at all so I can't be stuffed either.

 

Do you think she meant anything she said in the letter?

 

I honestly think she means some of it. About how she is thankful for all those memories and all those things we did together. I do think she would have continued with the relationship. As a few days ago when I told her I'd leave her life she vehemently said she would like me to stay and she will choose me over him. She is not prepared to leave me just yet.

 

So which part of the letter do you think is what she actually thinks? What part of it, is just "a mask to incite a feeling from me?"

  • Author
Posted

can i ask, what part of the letter was real and what part was just words?

  • Author
Posted

also, I dont see how she would play the victim if she admitted her own fault when in the face to face talk. I didnt expect her to admit and own up to what she did in the cheating side of things, but if she admits her own fault towards the breakup then Idont see how she can play the victim card now.

 

She has said many times she doesnt blame me. What does this mean? Does it mean she felt what I did in dumping her should be done by me?

Posted

In so many ways, I simply believe she was trying to make you feel sorry for her, which would most likely convince you to offer her another chance at the relationship. That's the feeling I got from reading it. And to be honest, she did a really good job with trying to paint that picture.

 

I think she was honest in the entire letter, but the problem was her previous actions (Spending time with the other guy) did not reflect that. Sometimes, for whatever reason, the idea of losing a person seems to be what's needed for someone to realize that they really want that person in their life. Now that she see's you're about to be out of her life, she's realizing that she really doesn't want you to be out of it.

 

Just my two cents, tho.

  • Author
Posted
In so many ways, I simply believe she was trying to make you feel sorry for her, which would most likely convince you to offer her another chance at the relationship. That's the feeling I got from reading it. And to be honest, she did a really good job with trying to paint that picture.

 

I think she was honest in the entire letter, but the problem was her previous actions (Spending time with the other guy) did not reflect that. Sometimes, for whatever reason, the idea of losing a person seems to be what's needed for someone to realize that they really want that person in their life. Now that she see's you're about to be out of her life, she's realizing that she really doesn't want you to be out of it.

 

Just my two cents, tho.

 

Thanks. That made me feel a bit better.

 

Sometimes I want to hear the truth, but the truth hurts. Still, I'd rather it be true and hurtful that just a fake happy answer.

 

I gotta give credit where its due, she a total drama queen b!tch, but she has some skills in writing. Can I ask, in what way did you think she did a really good job trying to paint that picture?

 

And what would you have thought if you were me and you received the letter?

Posted

She made it a point to say that she really wanted to suggest not splitting up/letting things go, but also that you really don't care anymore. Unless you don't care, statements like that will touch anyone who actually does care. I also think she did a good job and keeping the emphasis on her while not blaming you for it.

 

Basically, she made it clear that this was her fault, but that she wanted to fix things. So, she did a good job in trying to make you feel guilty for breaking it off.

 

I'd probably feel a bit down myself if I received a letter like that. I'd likely feel that she really IS sorry and willing to give the relationship another go. However, I'd know it wouldn't be smart to continue on with it.

Posted (edited)

I'm going to suggest something different. Meet up with her. Yep, that's right, meet up with her.

 

OP this is bothering you big time man, and it doesn't seem like simply ignoring it will cease it. Just find some time to talk to her and discuss where/how things went wrong between you to. And ask her if she really feels so strongly about you, why did she go into this industry you feel so uncomfortable about. Rather, if she loves you that much, why hasn't she left yet.

 

Sure she might not make as much doing another job, but at least it will be in a cleaner, safer environment. And probably better for the health of both of you.

 

I think in the end, it would put both of you at peace of mind to just talk it out.

 

Op, it's time to come clean man. You care about her, big time. And I think both of you know this situation is something that's a bit odd to end (apparently something valuable over). Don't get me wrong, you have every right to feel angry about your boundaries being crossed, but it seems you got that out of your system when you last talked to her, before she wrote this letter. Why not talk in person now?

Edited by MrNate
Posted

Having not known anything about this situation save for what was just posted, I'd say this was a version of drunk dialing. She said so herself that she was drunk while writing this letter, but if she was really wanting to keep it a true secret she wouldn't have posted it on Facebook let alone write it at all in some kind of form that others can see. She would have written it on paper and sent it to you or even just kept it for herself attempting to work out the demons. If you should respond? Probably not a good thing if you do.

Posted

I kind of feel that what she is saying here isn't really what she's feeling. Why didn't she say any of this in person? Admittedly, during that talk I dominated the talk (but she didn't seem to want to say much), and probably didnt give her a chance to talk, but if she really wanted to tell me this she'd have done this in person. (I was a bit overridden by emotion and just rushed my words quickly and wanted to end it asap after telling her how I felt about what she did and she asked me what event thats making you do this)

 

I could see her eyes going red and watery when I send:"you broke the rules, cross the boundaries, its over."

 

But I think what she said in this letter isnt what she actually thinks. the way she said: "there is no point in telling you that i want you back anymore since you've already said its over and doesnt care anymore" kind of signals to me that she in her mind thinks that she doesnt really care about wanting me back anymore, and just to support her own high moral ground, putting forward an excuse and blaming it on me for why she is not going to actually SAY she wants me back, when she doesn't want to say that anyways.

 

Whoa wait, you set boundaries and rules? No way. That part wasn't really true at all. You never really set any boundaries that was your problem in the two of yours equation. You would just react to the complete and utter **** she'd pull to see if you actually HAD boundaries (like the last ridiculous act which basically means you have to breakup).

 

She probably knew it was coming because deep down she realized this.

 

The reason I wouldn't respond at all to her facebook message is because it gives NO INDICATION she wants to change anything to suit your needs. It's entirely about HERSELF, how you "won't be there for her" blablabla. There isn't one ounce of true "I want to please you" or "I just loved doing stuff for you" or whatever. She doesn't talk about anything you want in the entire thing.

 

I would just leave her alone because that will help her get over the whole thing faster.

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