bonpaw2008 Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 K so we have been broken up for 6 weeks today, and we had contact last weekend, initiated by him, but now I realize the only reason why he contacted me is to check to see if I was seeing a mutual friend that was in town (who he suspected always had a crush on me). He asked if he could still talk to me, and I thought I was ready and over him so I said yes. Of course I wasn't, so I am glad there has been no more contact. Sorry for the long-winded, but today is his birthday, do I text him to wish him a happy bd or do I just let it go?
LoveTruthChaos Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Let it go. Two reasons: 1. (to quote something I read on LS a while ago) - wishing your ex a Happy Birthday is like wishing it to your boss after they've fired you. 2. It cements your words of being over him. Coz if you're over him, you just don't care. Stay strong! EDIT: Sorry, I didnt' read your post properly before posting #2. At any rate, don't contact him!
mmk1 Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 I would say no. He gave up those kinds of thoughtful gestures from you when he dumped you. My ex dumped me 2 months ago and her birthday is one month, her 40th so it is a big one. I will make it a point to give my cell phone to someone else so I don't wish her anything. Helps them see what they gave up, if you ask me. Due to their choice, it is just another day.
Author bonpaw2008 Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 I would say no. He gave up those kinds of thoughtful gestures from you when he dumped you. My ex dumped me 2 months ago and her birthday is one month, her 40th so it is a big one. I will make it a point to give my cell phone to someone else so I don't wish her anything. Helps them see what they gave up, if you ask me. Due to their choice, it is just another day. Thanks MMK and LTC, that is the way that I was thinking of it too. It is his big 40 too. I was just wondering if I should be the bigger person but you guys are so right, it is just another day. He lost out on having me make it special for him....you guys rock thanks
HopeLove Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 I would text him "Happy Birthday". Nothing else, no Hi, Dear, take care, good bye, have fun, enjoy or whatever. Would not even put your name or his. If he still got your number he'll know it comes from you. He knows you know it's his birthday, it's ridiculous to pretend you don't remember, so you are polite and give your best wishes but in a very distant way. You'll see, next year you won't sent any txt because you truly won't remeber the date anymore
YellowShark Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 He doesn't deserve your "Happy Birthday" wishes bonpaw2008. He's a ghost from the past and he should remain there. My EX's b-day came after 1 month of our breakup and 3 weeks into NC. It hurt not to be a part of it after sharing 7 of her birthdays together, but she chose for me not to be a part of it, so I stayed NC. I really wanted to wish her a happy birthday but then I realized that if my feelings REALLY mattered she wouldn't have cheated on me. Sadly our anniversary is coming up too in September... but I shall let it pass as well, and remain NC.
9Lives Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 i would not text him ANYTHING. AINT NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT THAT DAY. If he left you, then I would not do it. Its over and he needs to see you mean business. This is where we get hurt if we are the dumpee. It best to just leave them alone. I know from experience. Forget about the day and do what you normally do or go on a date with another man. that would make it unforgetable!!
lullaby Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 What would you tell me to do if it was the case Bon? You would tell me not to. Remember our chat from the other day. Be strong girl!
Username37 Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 To wish or not to wish.... HELL NO. It's a waste of time.
Author bonpaw2008 Posted August 31, 2010 Author Posted August 31, 2010 Thanks you guys, I did wish him a happy BD, plain IM, and then went off-line. When I went back on there was a "Thanks! How are you?" Fast forward to 12:01 this morning, I got this text: "Cancelled 3 messages asking for a bday pic, now it's over so I think I showed some strength" and 12:50: "I'm sorry. Even the last one was out of line. Please forgive me." I want to be really pissed, what does he have to show strength for? He is all weak because he wants to see a pic of my boobs, but is all strong that he wrecked my life because he is scared of commitment??? But you know what, I am not pissed, I really felt nothing, maybe a little sadness for him. My BD this year (with him) was spectacular, and I always have those memories, and I know that his BD yesterday could not have compared....
9Lives Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 like we thought. I simple waste of time..but whatever
HopeLove Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 You've done the right thing. You wished him a nice b-day and that's it. Don't reply to any other messages. NC is back!
YellowShark Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 He is all weak because he wants to see a pic of my boobs... I take that picture instead bonpaw2008! HA!
Lost Fish Posted September 1, 2010 Posted September 1, 2010 The first part put me off my dinner, somewhat. The second bit I'm not sure I believe.. You said earlier that you were glad there had been no more contact, then what did you go and do but initiate some? Silly. So, are you going to continue to feed the CP's need for nonsense or actually walk away from this? (Remember: your actions will speak louder than your words.) x Agree 100% with mickleb. A pic of your boobs? Is he f***ing serious? Ugh. You deserve so much better bonpaw.
mmk1 Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 Bon paw, I'm sorry to hear that you did give someone attention who clearly did not deserve it. No judgment here, though, especially until I made it past my exes' 40th in one month. Your experience, however, reinforces my conviction that no BD wish is appropriate. We've celebrated our last 11 bdays but the privilege of getting a BD wish ends when they end things with you. Unless he's banging down your door saying he made a mistake, NC is really the best for you, along with starting to find someone new. Look ahead to the new opportunity he has given you to find someone who really cares about you!
Author bonpaw2008 Posted September 2, 2010 Author Posted September 2, 2010 Bon paw, I'm sorry to hear that you did give someone attention who clearly did not deserve it. No judgment here, though, especially until I made it past my exes' 40th in one month. Your experience, however, reinforces my conviction that no BD wish is appropriate. We've celebrated our last 11 bdays but the privilege of getting a BD wish ends when they end things with you. Unless he's banging down your door saying he made a mistake, NC is really the best for you, along with starting to find someone new. Look ahead to the new opportunity he has given you to find someone who really cares about you! Hey you guys thanks for all the comments. I agree that I made a mistake by even a simple HBD. I have a feeling I still would have heard the nonsense from him later on in the evening, which is totally his MO. No self control and only out for himself. And Mickle, sorry for ruining your dinner, but they are pretty spectacular (yellow would agree )
LoveTNT Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 NO. Simple as that. My ex's B-day is in October, and my ass is already wondering what's going to happen, will we be talking then, am I going to see him, Do i get him something, and honestly I need to just shut it down.
Author bonpaw2008 Posted September 2, 2010 Author Posted September 2, 2010 PS I have been NC ever since, and he has texted me a few times ... just random stuff but I ignore. He sent me one just a few seconds ago "Hope you enjoy the concert tonight" I bought him tickets for his BD to go see Eminem ... what a dick head....
Author bonpaw2008 Posted September 2, 2010 Author Posted September 2, 2010 NO. Simple as that. My ex's B-day is in October, and my ass is already wondering what's going to happen, will we be talking then, am I going to see him, Do i get him something, and honestly I need to just shut it down. Take everyone's advice including mine, this is just another day, and if you are broken up then you won't be seeing him and you DEFINITELY shouldn't buy him anything, **** that....good luck, take someone's advice about having someone take your phone or getting out of town....it will be much easier next year
stargirlxo Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 I would recommend not contacting him. I don't know the circumstances of the break up, but if you are not over him, this will delay the process of getting over him.
YellowShark Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 And Mickle, sorry for ruining your dinner, but they are pretty spectacular (yellow would agree ) I'll be the judge of that! Still waiting for the email! (that reminds me of the hilarious Seinfeld episode with Teri Hatcher where Jerry dumps Teri after Elaine says her boobs are the result of implants. Then by accident Elaine later discovers Teri's breasts are real when she trips in the sauna and grabs them for balance.)
Author bonpaw2008 Posted September 4, 2010 Author Posted September 4, 2010 I'll be the judge of that! Still waiting for the email! (that reminds me of the hilarious Seinfeld episode with Teri Hatcher where Jerry dumps Teri after Elaine says her boobs are the result of implants. Then by accident Elaine later discovers Teri's breasts are real when she trips in the sauna and grabs them for balance.) Teri Hatcher lifting her top saying "they are real and they are fabulous!"
LostInTurn Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 No more contact! They're not worth it, remember?
Author bonpaw2008 Posted September 4, 2010 Author Posted September 4, 2010 No more contact! They're not worth it, remember? They couldn't be less worth it Lost, he is now non-existent, and it feels pretty damn good
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