Was or is this man interested?

[Girlygirl1977]

I met a guy online but it turns out we are in same industry. He asked me out in his 2nd email to me on a tue and after a series of emails we made plans by that saturday night for the next sunday. He even emailed me at 130am on a friday while his parents were in town that week and finalized plans at 930pm on saturday.

 

I didn't hear from him again till thursday (before our date) because he had to go overseas so he called me to tell me. He left the next day and sent me a msg from the airport saying sorry again and he will be back in 10 days and will see me. While he was in Asia, he sent me msgs on most of the days and a couple of pics though he was working round the clock. He is working on closing a deal (maybe 3 days with no msgs in total). He's 39 and I'm 33.

 

He sent me a msg on this Mon morning because he got back Sun night. He is still working on the Asia deal from here (so working at night here and early morning here bc of 12 hr time diff). He asked when I was free and we agreed to meet that night, esp bc it was his 1st full day back and he feared his schedule would heat up. He had been up all day but it went well (lots of laughing, people in common, personal stories) and I think the wine affected me and we made out at the end (most i've done is kiss on cheek usually on first date). We started with wine and then when they asked if he wanted another he said yes and then he ordered food to share so I ordered a 2nd glass too. It was about 2.5hrs and he did get a call from Asia and silence the phone. We also looked at some of my travel pics on my iphone (arm in arm as i was more comfortable then). He touched me on arm and shoulder earlier in evening and i froze but I obviously warmed up.

 

He walked me home, holding my hand whole way and said he wanted to see me again. He sent me a msg 20 min after I got home to say he had a great time and wanted to do it again (that same night). I initiated my first ever text with him on tue (since he has always been ahead of me) and asked how his hours were. and he asked me how my day was I responded on tues.

 

I am curious if you he has just lost interest because he hasn't asked me out again yet. What do you think of this story and his behavior so far?

Edited August 7, 2010 by Girlygirl1977
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[somedude81]

It's plain as day that he is interested. The signs were beyond obvious.

 

The only thing that seems a bit odd is that he hasn't initiated any contact since last Sunday. You messaged him on Tuesday and he responded and then silence. Generally if I was interested, I would have tried and made plans by now or at least made some contact.

 

I'd say give it a few more days.

[Girlygirl1977]

It's plain as day that he is interested. The signs were beyond obvious.

 

The only thing that seems a bit odd is that he hasn't initiated any contact since last Sunday. You messaged him on Tuesday and he responded and then silence. Generally if I was interested, I would have tried and made plans by now or at least made some contact.

 

I'd say give it a few more days.

 

Yeah so far everything has followed some logic. I saw him monday night so he messaged me after that date on Monday night to say it was great and hope to see me again soon (15 min after the date). Usually I thank the guy after a date the next morning, but he beat me to it.

 

Then bc he has been so proactive I sent one message Tuesday evening to see how he was coping with the schedule. He responded Tuesday at 1030pm and said he was getting into the full swing of the calls with Asia for the deal again but did ask me how my day was and I responded to him on Wednesday.

 

But yeah - usually I can predict when things are lackluster on a date (just ok) and I sometimes still get called back for that. He did tell me I looked cute as well on the date. So I'm scratching my head.

[carhill]

He's a man who lives in the moment.

 

If you're looking for consistency over time, he's given you good information in that regard.

 

What *can* happen is, after time passes, a 'moment' will crop up again and you'll re-visit this cycle.

 

The above presumes he has not died, been rendered unconscious, developed amnesia or is visiting his dying parent in Burma.

 

Enjoy the perspective of others

[Girlygirl1977]

Carhill - Thanks for the thoughts - It is one interpretation which works because it is otherwise a riddle since I don't have another example of a situation where the date went so well with confirmation and then no follow-up.

 

I'll take any other interpretations from others of course too?

[zengirl]

I met a guy online but it turns out we are in same industry. He asked me out in his 2nd email to me on a tue and after a series of emails we made plans by that saturday night for the next sunday. He even emailed me at 130am on a friday while his parents were in town that week and finalized plans at 930pm on saturday.

 

I didn't hear from him again till thursday (before our date) because he had to go overseas so he called me to tell me. He left the next day and sent me a msg from the airport saying sorry again and he will be back in 10 days and will see me.

 

So, you still hadn't had a date, right? It sounds like a date was made and canceled by his work plans. . . but I'm a little murky on that.

 

While he was in Asia, he sent me msgs on most of the days and a couple of pics though he was working round the clock. He is working on closing a deal (maybe 3 days with no msgs in total). He's 39 and I'm 33.

 

He sent me a msg on this Mon morning because he got back Sun night. He is still working on the Asia deal from here (so working at night here and early morning here bc of 12 hr time diff). He asked when I was free and we agreed to meet that night, esp bc it was his 1st full day back and he feared his schedule would heat up. He had been up all day but it went well (lots of laughing, people in common, personal stories) and I think the wine affected me and we made out at the end (most i've done is kiss on cheek usually on first date). We started with wine and then when they asked if he wanted another he said yes and then he ordered food to share so I ordered a 2nd glass too. It was about 2.5hrs and he did get a call from Asia and silence the phone. We also looked at some of my travel pics on my iphone (arm in arm as i was more comfortable then). He touched me on arm and shoulder earlier in evening and i froze but I obviously warmed up.

 

He walked me home, holding my hand whole way and said he wanted to see me again. He sent me a msg 20 min after I got home to say he had a great time and wanted to do it again (that same night). I initiated my first ever text with him on tue (since he has always been ahead of me) and asked how his hours were. and he asked me how my day was I responded on tues.

 

I am curious if you he has just lost interest because he hasn't asked me out again yet. What do you think of this story and his behavior so far?

 

It sounds to me like the constant contact in Asia was partly guilt about canceling and partly excitement to meet you.

 

It sounds like a good date. It sounds like he was interested.

 

It also sounds like he is very, very busy, and since it is very, very early. . . that could simply become an impediment. My general vibe is he's interested, sincere, and super-busy. The fact that he's also 39 and travels so quickly for business tells me he hasn't yet made relationships a priority (unless he's divorced; that'd change my view), so he might simply be a fellow who prioritizes his work extremely strongly. That's fairly natural anyway. When work is busy, it might make him forget all about you at this point.

 

Unfortunately, with people like that, luck/timing factors a lot into starting anything with them, and it sounds like it hasn't been on your side so far. But it doesn't sound to me like it has anything to do with you or his attraction to you.

 

[Girlygirl1977]

That age is always a tricky one. I agree. He is not divorced but he had a 5 yr relationship which ended 3.5yrs ago when he moved to the us. She came but they broke up after a month. He has an brother 2yrs older with 2 kids and similar job but not in us. I agree with everything you said except not sure on his timing to settle down. I'm from outside us and he dated someone from that region and he actually spent time with her real family there (she was adopted). We are in the same industry but I'm on a less hectic path now. I find few ppl who grab my interest so I want to think fairly. I also can tell he's been sincere which I don't always find.

 

I am considering a cute text to him bc I've been pretty passive in a couple days to enable? Or is it better to do absolutely nothing?

Edited August 8, 2010 by Girlygirl1977

[zengirl]

That age is always a tricky one. I agree. He is not divorced but he had a 5 yr relationship which ended 3.5yrs ago when he moved to the us. She came but they broke up after a month. He has an brother 2yrs older with 2 kids and similar job but not in us. I agree with everything you said except not sure on his timing to settle down. I'm from outside us and he dated someone from that region and he actually spent time with her real family there (she was adopted). We are in the same industry but I'm on a less hectic path now. I find few ppl who grab my interest so I want to think fairly. I also can tell he's been sincere which I don't always find.

 

I am considering a cute text to him bc I've been pretty passive in a couple days to enable? Or is it better to do absolutely nothing?

 

Well, I don't think it can hurt, unless it bothers you to text him. (I'm not saying ring the guy several times and look like a crazy gal or anything.) Doing absolutely nothing solidifies your pride, perhaps, but a cute text shouldn't cost you much more than a bit of ego. I never go with my ego. My ego gives pretty bad advice. I think if I liked the guy, I'd text. But I'd also be prepared to accept that nothing may come of the relationship/interaction with this fellow.

[Kamille]

 

I am considering a cute text to him bc I've been pretty passive in a couple days to enable? Or is it better to do absolutely nothing?

Or option three: you take it upon yourself to set up the next date.

 

I think the text to enable would still be passive and wouldn't get you what you want.

 

I say this mostly knowing he's from outside of the US and could be from a region where dating is more 50-50 than in the US. I think you know the region better than I do, so you can decide if this is true.

 

If you do decide to ask him out, I say suggest the next date, hopefully all goes well and you go out with him and then leave it up to him to set up the next one. If he doesn't set date 3, then you have your answer.