lalalandman Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 So, together for 4 years. She basically kept me secret from some friends and all of her family for that long. I know her family pretty well. Cheated on me 5 times I know of. But her logic was she never considered herself with me so it wasn't cheating. Anyways, she tried to break up with me in April for like the 5th time. I stood my ground and said screw it, fine, I'm done. So the whole month she tried to get back with me and acted all nice while I ignored her most of the time. Towards the end of the month, I started getting closer, replying to her texts and calls and making it clear that I wanted to work things out. Of course at the end of the month, she starts a big fight with me, and I told her I wanted to work things out. She then says NO, and that she is going to start a new life. I said OH YEA? So I'm in front of her house at this point, get out of my car, and start walking towards her door. She says WTH are you doing, and I said "I'm telling them...everything." The weird part is she has this smirk on her face, until I get to the door and bang on it. Then it become serious. What I didn't know is that her ENTIRE family is there for a gathering. SO her father comes out...just the man I want to see. Her mother follows, as everyone is inside peering. I say "Sir, I'm in love with your daughter, and we've been dating for 4 years." I said a few other things, but the thing that surprised me is he says, exact words, "You don't want her. She is crazy." Anyways, he told me to go home, and I did. That was end of May. 3 weeks pass, I call her once. No response. I text her once asking to work things out. Nothing. Exactly 4 weeks after, I had flowers sent to her parents saying in a nutshell, I'm sorry for my inappropriate actions and I've always appreciated your kindness. Then 2 weeks later, I get blocked calls in the middle of the night, and she unblocks me on Facebook and posts a pic of us. So I call (like an idiot) and small talk. I tried to get off the phone and she says "You hurt me". Put my ego aside, I apologize sincerely, no buts involved. Just totally understood her point of view. Then I tell her I love her. She says she needs to move on. I say ok. Next day I text her (dumb). Nothing. Then (stupid) I text that I thought she wanted me back in her life, but seems I was wrong. She says "Bye". Next day (dumber) I ask her to call. I say come tell me to my face how I hurt you because I want to know. She says (utter nonsense) I treat her like crap, make her feel like crap (I'm thinking HA you have it backwards) and I need to learn MY lesson, and let her go. WOW. I said, "I just want you to be happy, and OK, Good luck". Exactly. That was it. What do you think about that one?
sugarmomma Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 You were with her for 4 years and never met her parents? Why do you stay with someone who has cheated on you 5 times?? Sounds like you have a lot of work to do on your self worth, never mind her issues, which seem like tons.
Yamaha Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Her father was right about her. To bad you wasted 4 years b/c she never respected you.
D-Lish Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 So, together for 4 years. She basically kept me secret from some friends and all of her family for that long. I know her family pretty well. Cheated on me 5 times I know of. How could you know her family pretty well without ever meeting them, having been a secret? By your own admission, you met her dad for the first time after 4 years during a brief encounter.
Author lalalandman Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 Hey sugarmomma, no I knew her parents very well. They either were oblivious to us being together or were just in denial. Either way, I sure let them know. But it's true, I never taught her to respect me. I think now is my chance, granted if she ever tries calling again. Calls will be ignored.
Author lalalandman Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 Sorry I meant kept secret that she was with me romantically. I've been to her house on many occasions.
sugarmomma Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Sorry I meant kept secret that she was with me romantically. I've been to her house on many occasions. Why have you stayed with her?? Besides the obvious reason being that you loved her in the only way you knew how. Sounds like you have been somewhat of a doormat in this situation.
Author lalalandman Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 No I totally agree momma. It sucks when you go off of the faith thinking this person is the one, and loving them unconditionally. I just look back and wish I took numerous opportunities to stand up for myself. So what's your advice? I just have a feeling I haven't heard the last of her.
sugarmomma Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 (edited) The thing to be concerned about is repeating the pattern and attracting another person just like her because of your lack of boundaries. Even if she comes back the r won't work because there is no foundation. Good r have to be built on respect, trust, honesty etc. This sounds like a very dysfunctional unhealthy situation and you need to work on your boundaries and self worth. Her own dad said that she is crazy?? wow! Edited July 20, 2010 by sugarmomma
TheLoneSock Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 "You don't want her. She is crazy." Words of wisdom from the man that raised her. Take his advice.
Author lalalandman Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 How so? Do you think I'm being dishonest?
DenverBachelor Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Dude, next time don't be such a doormat. If her father said his own daughter is crazy, take his advice and run and don't look back.
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