Iselia Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 Some background info: we were in a relationship for about 4 years, broke up 3 months ago. She broke up with me because I was starting to get controlling and jealous of a couple of her friends, we stopped spending as much time together, and my ex failed to communicate her thoughts and feelings to me. One of her friends I thought was dangerous to be around, another my ex had a crush on (but my ex gave me NO reason to think she cheated on me). I realize my ex gave me no reason to distrust her with her crush; however, the other friend was bad news (and my ex ENDED that friendship shortly after we broke up ). It was a rocky breakup. Highly emotional for both of us. Lots of crying on both accounts, lots of "why"s. Took awhile to go NC; so lots of emotional break downs from both sides. Finally we went NC for a few weeks. I decided to break it, when wishing my ex a happy 4th. Texted back and forth a bit, nothing big. Well, later that night my ex called me. I decided to answer. We had a fairly heart-to-heart conversation. She flirted with me a few times (I did not flirt back) and told me that the breakup was necessary at the time, but now she's not sure where she wants things to stay this way. I told her, if she wanted to, we should see each other and here and there and see where things go. The next day, she sent me a text asking if I wanted to see a movie with her. I agreed, so we went. Lots of light touching with each other’s hands, arms (tickling, light punches, etc). So a few days later I ask if she wants to see an art show with me. We actually held hands in the car briefly on the way to the show. The light touching continued in public. Both had a few good time and enjoyed each other’s company. When browsing a store she lightly made a joke about us making jam for a living together (I’m assuming this means she’s alluding to a life together?). A few days after the art event, I get a FB inbox message (I took her off block when we started to talk again) where she starts to tell me some events that have happened in her life in the past few days we weren’t together. So now she’s starting to tell me about her life. So we started to talk again about our lives, nothing serious. However, there’s a bit of confusion on my part. My ex hasn’t been open to contact again lately. I’m not sure if she’s feeling suffocated, or confused, or what. Ever since we’ve started to really talk again via FB and phone, she doesn’t seem to be initiating contact again. She hasn’t initiated contact in about a week. I’m debating if I should just back off (maybe she needs to think things through?) or if I should confront her on her behavior (is she just being hot and cold?). She has told me before that she is afraid that “I [she] could hurt us both again.” Any advice as to what I should do?
Lovingmargy Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 This girl still loves you. But it seems as though she is learning to move on and still have you. Tell her how you feel and keep distance, if she comes back then she really thought about it, otherwise she is just not wanting to be alone, but still be single. She knows she has you if you answer, and by the looks of it she might be looking around. Good luck!
Author Iselia Posted July 13, 2010 Author Posted July 13, 2010 So basically I need to tell her my concerns, and then go NC again. What if she contacts me later on, but then stops contacting me again? Should I just ignore her when she contacts me? Or maybe I should be slow to reply to her whenever she contacts me again, so she knows I'm serious?
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