SomewhatExperienced Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Well, maybe, here's the story. About two years back I served this girl at the store at which I work and she completely floored me. She was clearly interested in me and me in her. We finished up and she left. I really wanted to ask her out, but I didn't because I was seeing a girl at the time and we have a rule about not asking out customers because it's unprofessional (and it is). I have pretty much gone on since then referring to this girl as "the girl I'm going to marry" when I'd tell me friends this story. I meet tons of beautiful women at my work but this one was different and the most memorable, probably not a head turner and not spectacular in most people's books but she had the full package for me. Now, the whole "I'm going to marry her" thing I didn't really believe, but I did feel that way (hard to explain). I always told myself if I saw her again anywhere I'd approach her, remind her who I was and ask her out. Zip forward two years and I finally see her again, WHILE WORKING! DAMNIT! I asked my manager if the rule still applies and told him this story. He told me to go get her number. I served her again, of course I remember her name and she remembered me. I served her and when she was finished I ran after her, pulled her aside and told her that the truth was I really wanted to ask her out the first time and always told myself I would if I ever saw her again. She told me she wanted to ask me out as well, but thought it'd be tacky to ask out the guy serving her. She also told me she thought I was one of the cutest guys she's met in the city, which is flattering to say the least She then told me if I could wait three months as she's seeing some guy who's leaving and they've decided to call it quits afterwards. Dissapointed, I responded that I'm leaving next winter, so if fate should bring us together again we can try another then. She insisted that we could still get together and get a beer, regardless. We exchanged numbers and about forty minutes later I got a text message from her that said: Thanks [me], I think you just made my day She's texted a few times and it looks like we'll probably get together next week for a beer. What do you think of that? Any advice. It the first time I've ever felt both so excited and scared at the same time. I've also had a long rash of being disappointed by my dating experiences so I'm trying to not to get my hopes up but stay relaxed about it all, but it's pretty tough.
Pfiend101 Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Im not trying to rain in the parade but dont end up as her possible rebound. I of course dont know all the details but I was crushed in a rebound situation.
Jilly Bean Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 She then told me if I could wait three months as she's seeing some guy who's leaving and they've decided to call it quits afterwards. She insisted that we could still get together and get a beer, regardless. And that didn't turn you off? That she's in a relationship with someone, and asked you to hang around and wait for her until she's done dating him? Then she turns around and agrees to cheat on her current boyfriend and start dating you anyhow. Um, I would find it hard to be excited about someone who's waving so many red flags...
Author SomewhatExperienced Posted June 2, 2010 Author Posted June 2, 2010 And that didn't turn you off? That she's in a relationship with someone, and asked you to hang around and wait for her until she's done dating him? Then she turns around and agrees to cheat on her current boyfriend and start dating you anyhow. Um, I would find it hard to be excited about someone who's waving so many red flags... Well, as I see it, if they've already decided to call it quits when he leaves the relationship couldn't have been THAT serious. At the same time, I've known people in that situation and when once they decided upon that there's a certain amount of emotional distancing that takes place before they split.
Jilly Bean Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 Well, as I see it, if they've already decided to call it quits when he leaves the relationship couldn't have been THAT serious. At the same time, I've known people in that situation and when once they decided upon that there's a certain amount of emotional distancing that takes place before they split. Well, as I see it, you're spinning it. Why does she have to wait three months? If she were that into you, she'd dump him, and date you. Emotional distancing? Um, I'm more than sure her BF doesn't know about you, and I'd also venture to say the only one who plans on 3 months until a breakup, is her. As it stands, she's still in a relationship with someone else, and is looking to make you rebound guy, or, the one to bridge the gap until she meets someone else. But, if you're OK dating people who are in relationships and cheating, then I guess we all have different ideas of what's acceptable and appropriate. Personally, if were you, I'd find her pretty piggish.
callalilly Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 (edited) When you meet with her, you might want to take the approach that you won't want to meet with her again until she calls it quits with the other guy. I mean, heck, Jerry Seinfeld's wife dumped her fiance for him ... what's so hard about breaking up with this guy to whom she doesn't even plan to stay beholden after he leaves? If it is meant to be, she'll break it off with him. Don't settle for less. Edited June 2, 2010 by callalilly
Green Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 About two years back I served this girl at the store at which I work and she completely floored me. She was clearly interested in me and me in her. We finished up and she left. I really wanted to ask her out, but I didn't because I was seeing a girl at the time and we have a rule about not asking out customers because it's unprofessional (and it is). hmm sounds like it was more the unprofessional thing that stopped you I have pretty much gone on since then referring to this girl as "the girl I'm going to marry" when I'd tell me friends this story. I meet tons of beautiful women at my work but this one was different and the most memorable, probably not a head turner and not spectacular in most people's books but she had the full package for me. Now, the whole "I'm going to marry her" thing I didn't really believe, but I did feel that way (hard to explain). I always told myself if I saw her again anywhere I'd approach her, remind her who I was and ask her out. hmmm I bet you are going to run into her again or what kind of story would this be.. Zip forward two years and I finally see her again, WHILE WORKING! DAMNIT! I asked my manager if the rule still applies and told him this story. He told me to go get her number. I served her again, of course I remember her name and she remembered me. I served her and when she was finished I ran after her, pulled her aside and told her that the truth was I really wanted to ask her out the first time and always told myself I would if I ever saw her again. She told me she wanted to ask me out as well, but thought it'd be tacky to ask out the guy serving her. She also told me she thought I was one of the cutest guys she's met in the city, which is flattering to say the least It would also have been tacky for her to ask you out because SHES A GIRL! I can't believe you've been jokingly calling her "the woman I'm going to marry" and you had to ask your manager for permision... seriously I'd risk my job for that kind of attraction. She then told me if I could wait three months as she's seeing some guy who's leaving and they've decided to call it quits afterwards. Dissapointed, I responded that I'm leaving next winter, so if fate should bring us together again we can try another then. She insisted that we could still get together and get a beer, regardless. Boy this sure takes the air out of your story. You know I once asked a girl out who unkown to me had a live in bf... She didn't make me wait 3 months... she kicked her bf out of their apartment that week and started dating me right away. The whole can you wait 3 months while I get my goodbye kiss's/sex out of the way would really kill the mood and my attraction if I wer you We exchanged numbers and about forty minutes later I got a text message from her that said: Thanks [me], I think you just made my day She's texted a few times and it looks like we'll probably get together next week for a beer. What do you think of that? Any advice. It the first time I've ever felt both so excited and scared at the same time. I've also had a long rash of being disappointed by my dating experiences so I'm trying to not to get my hopes up but stay relaxed about it all, but it's pretty tough. Well looks like she might want to start cheating on her bf soon then 3 months. If it were me I would have lost all interest in this girl
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 I think it's romantic! If she is really going to break up in 3 months, what's holding her back from doing it a little early? After all, it seems like fate...
kassy Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 ok well she was a bit on the spot at the time, so why not go for the drink with her, and have a fantastic time. But also refuse to do anything physical because she has a boyfriend. If she's really into you the boyfriend will be out of the picture within a week. If he's not... well forget her for now. best of luck, hope it works out for you
Author SomewhatExperienced Posted June 2, 2010 Author Posted June 2, 2010 hmm sounds like it was more the unprofessional thing that stopped you Actually, I was in a fairly serious relationship at the time, and I don't cheat. But regardless, I couldn't deny what I saw in this girl. hmmm I bet you are going to run into her again or what kind of story would this be.. True, but the kicker here is I didn't run into the second time at the store. It was at an exposition for a local race where my store was a vendor. Typically I'll see customers at least a couple times a year come into the store, but she never returned. She's still been wearing the same running shoes I sold her two years ago. She actually sent me a text message a couple days later saying: I've thrown out my old running shoes. Happy? I can't believe you've been jokingly calling her "the woman I'm going to marry" and you had to ask your manager for permision... seriously I'd risk my job for that kind of attraction. Yeah, I know. Boy this sure takes the air out of your story. You know I once asked a girl out who unkown to me had a live in bf... She didn't make me wait 3 months... she kicked her bf out of their apartment that week and started dating me right away. Well I haven't even seen her again yet. It's kinda unreasonable to ask her to drop her b/f right now if I haven't even seen her since we exchanged numbers.
Green Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 good luck. time will tell. Its nice to get really excited about some one
carhill Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 BTDT. The words and their juxtaposition to actions sound familiar. Orbital insertion enabled. If confronted with this dynamic today, I'd simply ask the lady out on a date. Since she's 'with someone until he leaves', I'd modify that with 'I'd love to ask you out on a date, but you have a boyfriend. When you end that relationship, look me up.' EOS. No beers, no flirting, no validation. Over and done. Next
Author SomewhatExperienced Posted June 2, 2010 Author Posted June 2, 2010 When you meet with her, you might want to take the approach that you won't want to meet with her again until she calls it quits with the other guy. I mean, heck, Jerry Seinfeld's wife dumped her fiance for him ... what's so hard about breaking up with this guy to whom she doesn't even plan to stay beholden after he leaves? If it is meant to be, she'll break it off with him. Don't settle for less. Thanks for the advice. I think this is what I'm going to do. If we meet and whatever I think I felt when I met this girl is still there then I'll tell her that I'm really interested in her and feel the need the explore this, but won't until this other guy is out of the picture. I'll add that I know it's a lot to ask for her to leave this guy, even if they're going to break up soon, but she has to make the decision and when she does she can call me. At least I'll know if she does leave him she takes it seriously too .
Jilly Bean Posted June 2, 2010 Posted June 2, 2010 OP, I think what's going on here, is that for two years, this girl has been your fantasy. Now that she's a reality, you seem unwilling to take the blinders off. She's a girl who has told you she has no problem cheating on her BF. Most people don't knowingly or willingly date cheaters. So, why are you willing to do so? She's already shown you who she is. I'm just surprised you're not paying attention...
callalilly Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I think that's an awfully harsh point of view. I don't believe she's said anything that indicates she's a cheater. Now, if she wants to keep dating OP w/o clearly breaking it off w the other guy, she might deserve that.
make me believe Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I agree 100% with everything Jilly Bean has said. This situation isn't "romantic" or "fate," it's a girl who wants to set up her next prospect before breaking up with her current BF! Does her BF know that she insisted you two go out for beers? If they are going to break up in three months anyway and she's so interested in you, why doesn't she just break up with him now and save everyone the grief? Doesn't the thought of waiting around while she fcks her BF for another three months turn your stomach at all...?
Recommended Posts