I guess you just have to let it run its course..

[teanoranges]

Some people so easily get over a break-up.

They don't even have to convince themselves it is better this way.

They just move on with their lives.

 

Others struggle. Just a little bit. Okay, maybe more than a little bit.

They try to forget.

they try to preoccupy themselves.

they try to improve.

they try to rediscover who they were before.

 

But in the end, it really does come down to time.

It doesn't matter how much you do, what you do, once a good while goes by you have no other choice.

One must accept it is over. Seriously, what is waiting around doing? what is hoping doing? Its not bringing anyone any closer to anything.

Reality starts to sink in.

They aren't coming back.

As a matter of fact, they aren't even thinking of you.

 

This is a good thing, because you stop thinking of them. Of course, you'll never forget but you won't remember as clearly.

Maybe you'll even start crushing on that one guy who's been serving you coffee...

maybe you'll try to figure out a way to strike up conversation.

maybe you're ready.

ready to live your life. because that's something you know how to do.

 

and you know what.

You'll be okay.

You always have been.

 

Time. It sure is a pain in the neck. If only I could have been in this spot 6 months ago... but you know what... I kind of enjoyed the ride.

Made me feel deep, and alive. made me learn.

I can't even describe it.

but I'm okay.

[This Hurts]

Thank you for this, teanoranges.

 

It helped my mood.

[thepulse27]

If only I could have been in this spot 6 months ago... but you know what... I kind of enjoyed the ride.

Made me feel deep, and alive. made me learn.

I can't even describe it.

but I'm okay.

Yes.

[mickleb]

I agree but disagree.

 

Will start a new thread in response, as I'm on my half-term..

 

x

[DenverBachelor]

I'll just add a few thoughts ...

 

After reading a lot of breakup stories on here (some old, some new), I've seen two different scenarios play out through the process. Most people will go through the grieving stages and eventually come through it a stronger person and realize it was just another life adventure. There is a smaller set of people who have a very unhealthy psychological dependency on their ex and have elevated him or her to deity status.

 

Case in point, there is a person on here who dated a musician and, even three years after the breakup, she still has an attachment to this person and can not let it go.

 

It is a wild ride but eventually after a few breakups, you learn that nothing in life is permanent and that everything does have an end. Let me repeat that -- EVERYTHING COMES TO AN END.

 

The healthiest thing we can do is take the good and bad together as a package. We learn from mistakes made from the bad and grow from them. We cherish the good and integrate that into what we'll seek in future relationships.

 

Sometimes when it comes to relationships, it feels as if true happiness is akin to chasing rainbows. We know what we want to feel and we enjoy those who can invoke those feelings to some degree within us. However, we're responsible for our own happiness and we can't resort or depend on another person to fill the gaps in our own life and expect the relationship to be a strong and long-term one.

 

There will be a time in everyone's life where we'll feel a very special connection with someone, but that doesn't mean that the person we share that connection with is the only person capable of making us feel that way. What life teaches us is that every time someone comes into our life and leaves a strong impression (whether romantically, business, etc.), what we're really doing is learning more about ourselves and our own path.

 

Time does a lot of things but the one thing it does best is heal wounds. Some people resist that push and instead wallow in their own self-pity while chasing phantasms of their ex.

 

At some point that particular person just needs to break free of their own self-imposed chains and recapture their own happiness by exploring new avenues in life.

 

The temptation to remain stationary or complacent is strong because stability is a comfortable thing. A lot of people are inherently afraid of change and when they're forced into it, they have no idea how to adapt because they've spent much of their lives in the same cubicle, the same street, the same husband or wife, etc.

 

Life is too wild to keep your guard down and while expecting tomorrow to be like today because today was just like yesterday. For me, learning to embrace and enjoy change opened up a lot of new experiences for me and it left me with the realization that we're all just one step from success or failure. Which way we step is up to us.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Its true that the trauma of a break up can make you feel deep and alive. I think this is exactly why some of us do develop unhealthy attachments and obsessions, because it does make you feel alive. I think you really do realise your own strength. You are forced to stand alone and the person you shared your secrets and fears with is taken away or walks away. It is a powerful realisation. I have developed much more self-respect for myself, i've learnt to be kinder to myself and more patient and I also feel very proud for coming through all of those dark moments. You think of the days and nights you couldn't eat or stop crying and you wonder how you ever came through that. Once you're through that, any pain that comes back to you, is always bearable.

[sedgwick]

Case in point, there is a person on here who dated a musician and, even three years after the breakup, she still has an attachment to this person and can not let it go.

 

Um, yeah. Thanks for making me feel like the official freak of LS. Maybe you'd like to continue talking instead about how you like some girl and we're supposed to be impressed because her dad has some fancy business in some town in Colorado.

Edited June 1, 2010 by sedgwick

[mickleb]

Um, yeah. Thanks for making me feel like the official freak of LS. Maybe you'd like to continue talking instead about how you like some girl and we're supposed to be impressed because her dad has some fancy business in some town in Colorado.

 

Really, Sedgwick?

 

You got nothing else from that post?

 

x

[Stephie]

There should be more of these posts on LS reading these really help... Tears started falling, 2 days ago I moved back home 4hrs away from my ex and I really didn't know if I was going to be ok, if I got back here was I going to be worse off but you know I am going to be ok reading some of your posts brought tears to my eyes for the first time since I left. I have been keeping myself busy and haven't had time to stop and think of him. As much as I miss and love him I know I am going to be ok that I am not ready to let him do any more damage to me because I love me. I am the only one who can keep myself going and move on. Do I hope one day we can meet again absolutely but I know we have a lot to fix about us alone first. I am ready to feel normal again, I'm ready for the numbness to go away and just be me that happy girl he fell in love with.

[teanoranges]

I am so glad there are some people who are touched by the thoughts.. I was trying not to get personal with 'you's'.. one of those things you (haha, I) learned in English class sooo much with writing essays or whatnot.

 

When I said I felt alive, I didn't mean it as alive in dysfunction.

I read somewhere that one of the most important moments of someone's life is falling in love... and losing it... and getting over it.

Somehow I feel that is true. Sad, but also pretty true.

for me.

 

I agree, we all go through things differently.

but I really think it comes down to the core in the person. If you believe you'll get through.. you will.

The only thing that ever stops anyone is themselves.

[mickleb]

The only thing that ever stops anyone is themselves.

 

I'm tempted to say 'abso-fkn-lutely' but wish, in no way, to be associated with that flaky actor, Chris Noth.

 

I'm thinking it though..

 

x