cupcake2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 My boyfriend is forever talking about getting me pregnant, and wanting to marry me but I'm just not ready yet. We've been together going on 2 years now and we're both living in different cities, and still trying to establish our careers. He's always talking about how he's afraid of me finding someone else. He says that because of how I point out his controlling ways and how I want him trusting me. I want to work on us first before we begin a family, but he insists on starting a family right now with both of us only being 25 years old. I tell him we aren't ready yet, we don't even have our own place together and a steady income flowing through, but he says within the 9 months of me being pregnant everything will be in the works. Is it him trying to trap me or am I over-thinking it? Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 He id definately trying to trap you. Young, unmarried men hell-bent on impregnating their Gfs are not all that common. Your BF probably want you to get pregnant and have his baby because that way, no matter what course your relationship takes, he will always have a bond with you through your child. It is a terrible reason to have a baby, and shows your BF is terribly immature. Do not surrender you choice about whether or when to have a child to anyone, ever. Link to post Share on other sites
eraser Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 You're right, he's attempting to trap you. He's afraid of losing you to another man, so he wants to knock you up and marry you before that happens. One of my ex-boyfriends was like this. Don't give in to him. If you're not ready, you're not ready. He's just going to have to deal with that. Or, maybe he won't deal with that and leave. Either way, it's better than you being stuck in a situation you know you're not ready for or don't want to be in. Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 He's trying to convince you to do this out of fear. Never the best basis for a decision - much less a decision like this. Be careful, and stay true to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueeyedJonesy Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Run for the hills!!!! guys like this remind me of the movie "Fear" lol Link to post Share on other sites
MichelleZB Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 This is part of a classic cycle of abuse. If he is controlling in other aspects now, do not get pregnant and move in with this man. Controlling men who push their partners into pregnancy to trap them often begin physical abuse during the pregnancy. Pregnant women's bodies do things on their own schedules, not his, and it is often too difficult for a man with anger/control issues to deal with. It can be a very dangerous, volatile time. Link to post Share on other sites
bunny25k Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 well it takes two, if you are not ready, don't have sex or unprotected sex. he's not gonna force you. if he does, then it's rape and you're really with the wrong guy. dont get pregnant and blame him. but i do agree, he is pretty desperate to keep/trap you. Link to post Share on other sites
guy.lepage Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 I wouldn't call this a "trap". I see a guy who wants to move to the next level and who isn't super realistic about having favorable conditions to start a family. People are complex and the reasons why he may want to do this are numerous. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 I wouldn't call this a "trap". I see a guy who wants to move to the next level and who isn't super realistic about having favorable conditions to start a family. People are complex and the reasons why he may want to do this are numerous. Read her other threads about this guy. He is trying to trap her. Link to post Share on other sites
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