angelaM Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I've been looking at some online profiles recently, just in case I ever get over my ex and decide to date again. Just looking for now. But nearly all of the men are looking for younger women. I mean I know it's a cliche but I'm kind of surprised at how often the men who are, say, 42, are looking for someone who is 28-38. Even the ones who say they don't want kids. Why is that? All of my exes have been my age or younger, not intentionally as you can't always tell how old someone is when you first meet, but it looks like if we'd crossed paths online instead, we never would have gotten together. Granted this online thing is totally new to me, but it seemed pretty consistent on the site I was visiting. Is this typical?
greatgirlfriend Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I'm seeing that a lot too. I am 39 and want a guy within a few years, yet the decent ones want 25 year olds. I know one guy mentioned so he can have kids, but I'm still fertile (my obgyn told me) and many women are into their 40s.
Mr White Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Young chicks are hot, older chicks are usually not .
Author angelaM Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 The thing is, my experience IRL is different from what I'm reading, so it makes me wonder why so many men seem to be ruling it out so early. I wouldn't respond to someone my age who thought I was too old for him before we even met, but the guy I dated who was 10 years younger than me didn't seem to have a problem with the age difference.
Jersey Shortie Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 (edited) Angela, I always steer clear of men that can't even date women their own age. No one stays 25 forever. At least you know from the get go and can steer clear of those types. Edited February 16, 2010 by Jersey Shortie
Awesome Username Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Men who can't date women their own age have a complex. I understand if you prefer younger, but simply writing off a woman because she is exactly your age is insane.
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 That has not been my experience in online dating. I usually date younger men, also. A lot of the men who contact me indicate on their profile they are seeking an age range younger than I am. My point is it won't keep them from contacting you.
Johnny M Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I've been looking at some online profiles recently, just in case I ever get over my ex and decide to date again. Just looking for now. But nearly all of the men are looking for younger women. I mean I know it's a cliche but I'm kind of surprised at how often the men who are, say, 42, are looking for someone who is 28-38. Even the ones who say they don't want kids. Why is that? Women age faster than men. A 40 year old man can still look great provided that he works out and is not prone to balding. In contrast, a 40 year old woman, even if she is considered good looking for her age, is only a shadow of what she was at 25. So from a biological compatibility standpoint, it's normal for men to date younger women. All of my exes have been my age or younger, not intentionally as you can't always tell how old someone is when you first meet, but it looks like if we'd crossed paths online instead, we never would have gotten together. Granted this online thing is totally new to me, but it seemed pretty consistent on the site I was visiting. Is this typical? Dating your age is normal until you hit late 20s. At that point, the age gap starts to widen.
Johnny M Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Young chicks are hot, older chicks are usually not . LOL, that pretty much sums it up. Why would a successful, professional man want a woman his age when younger girls are willing to date him?
Author angelaM Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 Angela, I always steer clear of men that can't even date women their own age. No one stays 25 forever. At least you know from the get go and can steer clear of those types. Good advice. I have seen a few who weren't like that, and it definitely gets my attention (note to men who are writing dating profiles!), so if the day ever comes that I'm ready to try again, I will focus on that. I understand having a preference, but I didn't realize it was quite so common.
alphamale Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Men who can't date women their own age have a complex. I understand if you prefer younger, but simply writing off a woman because she is exactly your age is insane. the majority of men couldn't even get a woman significantly younger than themselves, by significantly younger i mean 5 or more years
threebyfate Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 angelaM, I do have to ask why you've only dated men who are the same age or younger. Is there a problem with dating men who are older than you? Just flipping the coin for you to see.
Author angelaM Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 LOL, that pretty much sums it up. Why would a successful, professional man want a woman his age when younger girls are willing to date him? Who said anything about successful or professional? Or for that matter, attractive? Some of these guys look like my dad.
Chicago_Guy Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Women age faster than men. A 40 year old man can still look great provided that he works out and is not prone to balding. In contrast, a 40 year old woman, even if she is considered good looking for her age, is only a shadow of what she was at 25. So from a biological compatibility standpoint, it's normal for men to date younger women. Dating your age is normal until you hit late 20s. At that point, the age gap starts to widen. Women might think this is odd, but it seems perfectly normal to men to pursue younger women, provided they are mature. Part of the issue is that a lot of women do tend to want older men when they are in their mid-20s. I am 34 and I actually think that I get more attention now from women in their mid-late 20s than I did 10 years ago, when I was 24. I want to get married and start a family, so a woman's age is a relevant factor for me. In regards to the OP's question, I question why a man who isn't looking for a family would automatically exclude all women his own age, even if he does have a preference for younger men. It seems strange.
Lizzie60 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I've been looking at some online profiles recently, just in case I ever get over my ex and decide to date again. Just looking for now. But nearly all of the men are looking for younger women. I mean I know it's a cliche but I'm kind of surprised at how often the men who are, say, 42, are looking for someone who is 28-38. Even the ones who say they don't want kids. Why is that? All of my exes have been my age or younger, not intentionally as you can't always tell how old someone is when you first meet, but it looks like if we'd crossed paths online instead, we never would have gotten together. Granted this online thing is totally new to me, but it seemed pretty consistent on the site I was visiting. Is this typical? To be honest with you.. I have noticed the opposite trend.. men seem to want older women... (the young guys anyway) for short term... most older men prefer women their age... for long term. Very few that I've seen specifically ask for younger women..
Author angelaM Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 angelaM, I do have to ask why you've only dated men who are the same age or younger. Is there a problem with dating men who are older than you? Just flipping the coin for you to see. That's a fair question. I think it's because I'm pretty active and fit and I tend to gravitate toward men who are involved with the same activities, and those men have been my age or younger. But by itself, age certainly isn't a deal breaker for me, as it seems to be for the men I've seen (so far) online.
BentSpine Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Women get off on the idea of sitting side by side in rocking chairs in their ripe old age. So they take preparations to one day realise their rocking chair dream by looking for a partner of similar age, as if that would make the couple pass away at the same time. On average though the woman goes on living alone for quite some time. Men on the other hand, are not nearly as excited by rocking chairs as women are. At least not unless they actually get to impersonate the rocking chair to an attractive woman in the bedroom. And for the majority of men, younger happens to be more attractive. In short, fewer women are as sexual as men so those women dream about an affectionate old age instead.
Woggle Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I can't answer this because I married an older woman and it is great. Age was not a factor for either one of us though. It was more beside the point. You can use this as a filter. Think of it is quality vs quantity.
Johnny M Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Who said anything about successful or professional? Or for that matter, attractive? Some of these guys look like my dad. Ouch. That's not a very flattering description of your dad
Johnny M Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 To be honest with you.. I have noticed the opposite trend.. men seem to want older women... (the young guys anyway) for short term... most older men prefer women their age... for long term. Very few that I've seen specifically ask for younger women.. Yes, there is a subset of men who go after cougars for the short term satisfaction of their physical needs because older women are easy. But your statement about men wanting women their age (as opposed to younger) for long-term relationships puzzles me. This is certainly not what I've been noticing.
Lizzie60 Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Yes, there is a subset of men who go after cougars for the short term satisfaction of their physical needs because older women are easy. But your statement about men wanting women their age (as opposed to younger) for long-term relationships puzzles me. This is certainly not what I've been noticing. By 'their' age.. I meant 'around' their age... Men are like women... if they go for the younger ones for long term... they'll eventually get replaced... no men or women want that.. so I stand by what I've said.. men that go for younger.. if they don't think they'll get 'replaced' in the long run.. are in denial... and for your information... older women are not easy.. they're even more picky...
Dexter Morgan Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 I've been looking at some online profiles recently, just in case I ever get over my ex and decide to date again. Just looking for now. But nearly all of the men are looking for younger women. I don't want anyone plus or minus 5 years from my age. What the hell do I have in common with someone 15 years younger or better? nothing, absolutely nothing. My x-wife was 8 years younger and that was bad enough let alone 10 or 15 years. I want someone I can grow old with....can't do that with a younger woman. And when I'm a fairly older looking 55 or so, am I to believe that a woman that is 40 and still fairly well good looking is going to want my wrinkly ass or isn't desiring to be with someone that doesn't look as old? Men, and women, don't think about the future when hooking up with younger people. I suppose if you are just in it for the short term and its only about sex or something, well, have at it I suppose. But can anyone who is 40 or younger honestly say they are going to be attracted to a significant other that looks MUCH older and grandfatherly/motherly? These men/women don't see the age difference as a big deal when, for example, the older of the two is, at worst, younger than 50 and still looks reasonably well. But when one still looks good, and the other starts to look....well.....OLD...then it becomes a problem. but there are exceptions I suppose. Anna Nicole Smith was madly in love with her 80 year old man and was very sexually attracted to him:rolleyes:
Dexter Morgan Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 so I stand by what I've said.. men that go for younger.. if they don't think they'll get 'replaced' in the long run.. are in denial for once I am in agreement with Liz
meerkat stew Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 In high school, as a freshman, all the women my age were trying to date seniors, as a senior, all the women my age were trying to date college aged guys or sleeping with even older adult men. Same in college, senior women I knew in college had already started sleeping with and dating 25-30 y.o. businessmen even before graduating. Early 20s, many of the women my age at work were hitting on, sleeping with and dating 40-50 y.o. men for career advancement or for whatever reason. Not one or two... most of them. Up until I got into the mid 30s this continued, coincidentally the time when many women start to show significant age. Women make most of the choices in whom they choose to date. Men display and approach, women pick. After being picked enough by younger women in youth and passed over by women our age, men form a preference. That's not all there is to it, but it is a large component of the preference. Younger women have nicer skin, brighter eyes, few wrinkles, etc. but for most men, these slight advantages are not enough to tip the scale towards younger women v a woman his own age who takes care of herself. Attraction forms primarily in the brain, not the loins, and though every now and then we meet someone who flips our crank and could be completely braindead, for the most part there are strong intellectual and emotional components in attraction and mating, and shared quantities and qualities of life experience are as important as a youthful appearance to many. Now it's "what's the deal with men and age?" Men learn in time that younger women are more available to them than older women during youth, and the greater age gap the more available the woman. That this preference forms in men is every bit as much a function of women's preferences as men's. So the answer to the thread's question is "the deal is that men learn younger women are more available to them over time due to female preference." People stick with what works and what they know, and due to what many women want in life, many men learn to date younger.
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