Giha Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Well, I have managed to keep no contact for 7 months (which is incredible to me), but yesterday my ex contacted me for no apparent reason..she said she wanted to say Hi and maybe restore contact..we had a nice chat but I told her that I don't think it's a good idea for us to keep in touch anymore.. Now i feel REALLY bad..i have made it through the night but i feel like these 7 months have been erased..i cant help but think of her during this period i had alot of dreams about her, some were bad and some were good (well, bad in a way) I felt good talking to her but i know there's nothing to achieve by restoring the contact with her..she was the one who broke my heart and then eff-ed my friend... You think i did ok? was i wrong? any comment would help..thanks
bananaboat11 Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Well, I have managed to keep no contact for 7 months (which is incredible to me), but yesterday my ex contacted me for no apparent reason..she said she wanted to say Hi and maybe restore contact..we had a nice chat but I told her that I don't think it's a good idea for us to keep in touch anymore.. Now i feel REALLY bad..i have made it through the night but i feel like these 7 months have been erased..i cant help but think of her during this period i had alot of dreams about her, some were bad and some were good (well, bad in a way) I felt good talking to her but i know there's nothing to achieve by restoring the contact with her..she was the one who broke my heart and then eff-ed my friend... You think i did ok? was i wrong? any comment would help..thanks As a fellow dumpee... I am dying to break NC with the ex. She recently made a move (by unblocking me on FB) for some purpose... it's driving me mad. But you know what? I won't and can't break the no contact... Some nostalgic point set your ex to break the NC... but you know what... something tells me (and the same goes to my ex) that as soon as they're with us again (I assume your ex is like mine... since she broke a social norm of dating aka an unwritten rule.. never eff your ex's friend - that's fcked up) they'll remember why they left / hurt us in the first place and move on... AGAIN. It can do guys like us no good. We're better than that.. I could never dream of hurting my ex emotionally... I could never imagine undressing another woman with my eyes when i'm with her... but... I know.... deep down... somehow, if I got back with her.. if I broke the NC... she'll hurt me again. I didn't like how it felt the first time. I'm afraid it'll happen again. If she calls you again... and asks why you didn't attempt? You simply respond, "You made it clear, I thought about it.. and I had to move on. (CHANGE TOPIC HERE OR HANG UP)" Whether you mean it or not.. she'll want you more now, but you CAN'T GIVE IN.
gaudi Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 I think you done great in telling her that you don't think you and she should have contact anymore, you laid it down and that's what you should do. The only other possible way you could have played it was to not respond at all. Which you may want to think about next time she gets in touch (coz it sounds like she will), I've got a feeling doing it this way may just help in keeping her off your mind.
Author Giha Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 Thanks for the comments, guys. What makes you think she will try to contact me again? I don't think she will.. I'm dying to talk to her but as banana said, no good could come from that..even if we got back together. I feel ****ty
gaudi Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 Thanks for the comments, guys. What makes you think she will try to contact me again? I don't think she will.. I'm dying to talk to her but as banana said, no good could come from that..even if we got back together. I feel ****ty She broke your heart, you went NC for 7 months (applaud you for this), then she gets in touch to say Hi ?? Because you have now told her that she shouldn't be contacting anymore, I feel there may be a strong chance that she will want an explanation for this, but of course you don't owe her one, so I wouldn't respond if it happens.
Author Giha Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 Could be, but she said "oh ok, I understand. it was nice talking to you anyways. Bye-bye :)" at the end, so i dont think she's gonna contact again. We'll see how it goes.. for now it just reminded me how deeply i felt for her and its killing me..even after all this time..I feel like all these 7 months were nothing.
gaudi Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 You've probably heard this before mate but...that's why a non-response is usually the best way to go.
Author Giha Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 I know, you're totally right..I should not have answered. I guess she got the best of me, hehe
selena_cat Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 You were honest to tell her not to contact you or however you put it. I applaud you for staying in NC for 7 months i broke NC by a month earlier and should have never done that. If she keeps contact with you as an avid LS reader as one who went thru this herself all you will get from her is BREADCRUMBS. Read loveledaze posts on NC i believe its on second chance,its really good dont feel guilty,why should the wenchhave you on ice while she's with your so call friend? Good Riddance
duece22022 Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 i know it sucks. and you second guess yourself. but u have the power now. trust me she still misses you, or at least certain parts about you. feel better in the fact that she is hurting a little too.
prayingshecomesback Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 SEE... THIS is the reason I hope to god my ex doesnt try to contact me. In a fantasy type of way I wish she would...BUT, we dated for 3 years and I thought we had the perfect relationship. Then she left me for another guy thinking the grass was greener on the other side. 7 Months now no contact from either party. If she ever contacted me that would just crush me. Cause then I wouldnt know what to do. My mind would be telling me HELL NO dont go back, but if I was not dating anyone, I would probably give it a shot. Setting myself up for a huge setback and major issues in the relationship that would be too hard to overcome (like trust). If I was you (and I know you must be dying to respond)... Stay NC. She doesnt deserve you.
Recommended Posts