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Posted

Wow, what a shock. As most of you may know if you have been on these forums for the past few months, my gf wanted a break to figure out what she wants. She said time at home would help her out.

 

Well she went home for vacation and we barely talked, I texted her she never replied..her phone was messed up so she got back to me through AIM. Well because one night I went out with some friends and partied..someone changed my facebook status to hanging out with lots of girls or something of that sort.

 

She then removed me from her myspace top friends, but never said anything. I didn't contact her because I was giving her the space she wanted, and she said she would talk to me. Well weeks past by and no one said anything. I kept to NC and I guess she was waiting for me to say something..but I figured if she really wanted to let me know about her phone and when she would be coming back here, she would of said something to me.

 

Today I get on facebook and see one of the albums she created. She and this friend of hers are kissing, all over each other..one of the pics looks like they were in the shower or something. I dunno what to do with myself.

 

She never even said anything to me, never said it was over or what she thought..no room for me to communicate about things with her. She removed me from facebook so I can only view her albums and profile pics.

 

This hurts so much..just left me hanging there and I dunno what to do. I removed pics of her and us, changed my relationship status. I bet one day when she is back here she will say something to me.

 

To be honest, I don't have words for her. I don't want to talk about anything..I'm so confused and hurt its not fair what she put me through. This break thing has been going on for over a month and this is how it ended, without a word but with her actions.

 

I hope she wont say anything to me at all when she is back, I won't be able to put up with it and I feel like telling her how horrible she's treated me and how she couldn't even say anything but had to do what she did. But I know it won't do anything so I will just ignore.

 

This all is just too unbelievable..does she not have a heart at all, I knew her for 5 years and was always there for her and even though we only dated not that long..I could never do what she did to someone else.

Posted

Same thing happened to me a week ago. Same deal.

My ex made up stories and told my current girl at the time, that i was unfaithful. She actually took her word, ignored me on xmas, shut me out, told me i was a liar, an idiot, worthless, and said she would have fun without me when she moves. End of story.

 

Now she's got a new guy, just found that out too.

****, it hurts.

I dunno, just keep your head up, go out drinking with some friends, hit up some new girls, eat healthy, sleep and do your thing.

Posted

Stay on the road of just leaving her to do her life the way she thinks she needs to.

Today, my ex is packing up to leave for Afghanistan and I am 101% sure I am not going to contact him or even think he will contact me. He's treated me like a fool for too long and so has your ex.

When she can't even TELL you,"I'm sorry but it's over", it shows what she is. Very cowardly and no self-respect and even less maturity.

 

Don't bother a "final" showdown, argument, talking-to, rationalization or any of that. Her kissing someone else is the exclamation point on your breakup. Sure, she might come back but make sure when she does..you can honestly say you could care less. Right now, you are not ready to deal with her crap. Work on making your own self happy because no one else can make you happy but you.

Posted

HLP234

 

Firstly take a breath, you know you haven't done anything wrong, please breathe and concentrate on nothing but the breathing, please trust me it works.

 

This is a sign to you that this girl can not deserve someone who has treated them with respect.

 

Why did she put the photos on there? You don't know it could be anything, I find the worst part of any of these things is the 'not knowing' but what can you do about it? Nothing. Fight the battles you know you can win and leave the ones you can't my friend, it's a very old saying but it really is true.

 

Keep talking on here mate, it really has helped me. Some great people on here. My thoughts are with you.

Posted

She doesn't deserve you. I know you're probably going to hear that a lot, but it's true. I agree that it's a cowardly and childish way to end a relationship and you're better off without her.

 

Heal yourself, don't rely on her to explain anything; even if you confronted her she'd probably twist the situation. The best revenge is showing her how happy you are withtout her.

 

Good luck.

  • Author
Posted

As much as I know, she will be back here some time because college is starting soon. She will call or say something and all my friends are telling me when she does that, pick up and tell her you are done, can't be her friend and just move on.

 

I know for a fact she will say something one day and I could say some horrible things to her but I'm better than that. I'm still deciding weather to tell her that I've been hurt and want nothing to do with her what so ever when she does contact me...but I don't see what that will do.

 

She posted those pics and removed me from facebook as an action to show me she is with that guy. The album is even titled one of life's better changes.

 

By not saying anything everyone is telling me that I'm just giving her what she wants, but I think there is no point to even pick up if she calls or IM's me. There is no need for me to hear an explanation from her, I've seen it.

 

I will not contact her for sure at all, but I know she will be here and I'm the only one she knows here so she will say something. I'm gonna try and move on as much as I can.

 

I was doing fine so far getting over it and realizing it would not end good, but after seeing this, its like day one x100. Really immature on her part..and all I can say is what goes around comes around, its her problem not mine and I've been there for her for 5 or so years but no longer will I even recognize her as an acquaintance.

 

Everyone that heard about me from her thought I was such a nice person for her but who knows what she's told them now. Its made me feel as if I did something wrong to her that she just had to cut me off like that.

 

If she thinks after a few months that she can talk to me and pretend everything is ok, she is wrong..I'm done for good and never want to see or deal with her anymore. I could say this to her but then again it seems rude and I know what kind of person I am..I don't like hurting people at all so telling her that would not resolve any closure anyway.

Posted

 

By not saying anything everyone is telling me that I'm just giving her what she wants

 

 

I don't care if that is your mother who said that. It's ignorant.

NO, by not saying anything, you're just giving her what she DOESN'T want and that;my friend,is a great thing!

 

When you ignore your ex and not give in to their gloating of their new "fabulous" life, they are annoyed as hell because they are not getting a reaction out of you.

 

When an ex does that on Facebook, MySpace, texts you, e-mails you or whatever...what they want is gratification of their ego. NOBODY likes to be ignored but ignore you must. Anybody who knowingly does things to hurt someone they KNOW is hurting..is a S.O.B. in my book.

Ignoring isn't hurting them at all but it sure is going to make a better life for you and you are the ONLY person that is important in this mess.

Posted
I don't care if that is your mother who said that. It's ignorant.

NO, by not saying anything, you're just giving her what she DOESN'T want and that;my friend,is a great thing!

 

 

I guess my situation must be the reverse.

She ended it and couldn't handle the fact that I didn't think what she was doing was fair by me or my stepson.

 

She wanted no contact to "try and save the friendship".

That translates as "It would serve me well if you just vanished and didn't mention anything, ever, that could possibly reveal me to be a cold hearted bitch and in turn, it'll make my life so much easier."

Posted

I had a similar situation and I know what you're going through. My ex and I broke up (her idea) in April. She kept me on a string for months and then I found out in Oct she was with someone else, but she tried to lie and say she wasn't. Never had the decency to tell me straight up and let me walk away with my pride. Still wanted me on the string, I suspect, in case the new guy didn't work out.

 

It's extremely hard to deal with but you have to accept that if they'd do this to you, this way, they're a flake and capable of much worse, like cheating on us when we're together, most likely. You gotta walk away from this one and don't look back. She made her bed, now let her lie in it - chances are it will be another dysfunctional relationship and she'll regret it down the road. You've got to divest yourself of any interest in her.

 

I know it's hard. I still miss my ex even though I have no respect for her whatsoever. You're missing the good times, not the person most likely. I feel your pain, but it will get better with time. Now you know the real deal - time to put an end to the hanging and hoping. If I were you, when she tries to talk to you, I'd let her know (with absolute coolness) that you know what you know, you deserve a better person, and you never want to talk to her again. Wish her well and end the conversation.

 

Get out for your life, man. She did you a favor by revealing her character - one day, you'll see that. I hope to, as well.

 

Eisenhower

Posted

I feel for you! Some people can be so mean and heartless. It seems the communication became a little mixed-up in the beginning. Are you sure she's not assuming anything? Sometimes when communication folds ( you mentioned a phone not working) then one tends to "assume" what the other is thinking. With that said, she still seems heartless and a coward, "clean up your act girl-before going on to someone new). Seems she wants to hurt you through pics, which in an odd sort of way... means she still cares. My suggestion, and your heard it 1,000 X's, but the heartbreak makes you stronger... they say if it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger. Hang in there, she's just showing you how tacky she is.

  • Author
Posted

I dont think she put that there to make me jeoulous. She could of done that by just posting picks on there without removing me as a friend. I mean the pics are of her and him kissing, and u know stuff couples do. Similar pics to what her and I had.

 

I really think she just means to cut all contact with me without saying anything as if I did something wrong or upset her..which I didn't because if she really cared she would of said something at least letting me know she will be back here. If she got mad over my facebook status that I didn't even write and that led to this..than she is just immature and assumed stuff.

 

I think she also blocked me on aim although aim shows she was online a few hours ago because she changed her statuses on there.

 

Its all BS what she said before about she would not date this guy because he is her friend and whatever and that she needed time to figure stuff out. Because while we were still on a break she just seems to have gone from me to him in not even a month. Which she also said when the break started that shes not the type to go from one guy to another like that.

 

But the pics and her actions show me differently. I mean not even saying anything to me at all is just so messed up and I'm just torn up about how she decided to go about it. I really can't believe i just gave myself to her and cared so much. I mean we were both so happy when we started and even after that. She did cute things for me to surprise me and stuff and I started doing the same and then all of a sudden this.

 

Everytime I tried to talk to her about us, she didn't want to and said she just wanted her time and her space and she said I was complaining about waiting. And the whole time she went home she could have said something to me but she didn't so that means she did not care.

 

I'm not sure how I will act if she ever contacts me, but for the most part I think if she doesn't it would be the best. Ignoring would say oh he doesn't really care, and saying I dont ever want to talk to you again..I dunno what that will do. I just need all this to go away because I know I will always resent what she did.

Posted

HLP,

 

You are probably right that it is only a matter of time that she will contact you. You are on the right track right now.

 

What she did is NOT RIGHT. And your feelings of resentment and pain are valid and yours to have.

 

You are doing great so far by posting here and using loveshack as a vent for these feelings of pain. Know that we have been there and you are not alone in experiencing this kind of hurt.

 

Now - if you feel you need closure, it is perfectly valid to ask her what went wrong - but all along you have to keep a cool detached attitude. She is waiting for a rise out of you - for you to stomp and cry and yell at her. The fact that you have been silent toward her thus far speaks volumes more than texting, emailing, or IM'ing ever could.

 

When the reality of life without you hits her (and it will) she will reach out to you for something - anything - and you have to stand your ground and stay detached. Something along the lines of "what you did wasn't right and I can't have that kind of toxicity in my life right now. Good luck to you."

 

Take time for yourself as others here have said. Keep breathing and knowing that you are a good person - don't second guess yourself - we can all easily see that you are a sensitive, caring soul who deserves so much more than the hell this broad put you through.

 

Be strong.

Posted

Dont waste another breath or a tear over this female. Sadly she moved on and you were the last to find out. But it has happened to the best of us. She just didn't have the respect for you.

 

anyways, dont sweat it with her and school....just ignore her. After all isnt this the path that she chose? You can do better than her, and you know it. You seem very bright, and a genuine guy. Believe me, many a woman would wnat to have a crack at you...

 

 

Remember that the opposite of love is indifference. So just be indifferent to her and ignore her. Always remember that closure is fleeting at best because it rarely ever answers the questions we seek. It seems to always be wrapped up on TV or in movies, but closure rarely ever happens in real life.

 

 

The consequence for her actions is to be your deafening silence.

  • Author
Posted

Thanks LostFish, posting here really has helped me. I was with friends today the whole day and they all told me this would happen even though they don't know her or even met her. Everything they have seen me talk about..they could tell she would do something like this.

 

I should have listened earlier and just told her before she went home that I can't take the break anymore I need to move on but I didn't and it only led to me hurting more.

 

They also think she has no idea how bad she hurt me, but even thoguht she seems love sick with this friend..one day I hope she realizes weather I find that out or not. To be honest, I would be fine if she decided to move back home for good and just never say anything.

 

I know she won't come back and act normal towards me..there is no way that is happening, she knows I'll be upset over it which probably explains her removing me from friends, all the pictures and everything.

 

I should have noticed this way before when we started dating. I wasn't allowed to talk or hang out with other girls, she practically made me delete all my friends that were girls, then counted how many girl's numbers were in my phone..always making it seem like I were up to no good until I removed everything to make her feel secure. She said she had double standards and she didn't like anyone else to have their attention on me.

 

I was stupid and just went along because I know all about her previous relationships and how the other guy had hurt her so bad and I wanted to be the one make things right for her since we had known each other so long and were very close.

 

Now I'm left with no one and I guess I can start over. I will not cry and complain about it..I have removed all pics of us from my facebook, changed my relationship status on there as well. Not sure if she will see that or check my profile to see any changes but I had to do that today because I had no other choice.

 

I'm not going to talk to her at all. Sometimes I get on Aim and just go invisible because I'm not exactly sure if she blocked me on there too..but I just don't want her to see I'm online for the fact that she will say something and I won't be able to sign off but just sit there and say nothing.

 

I think she knows its too late to say anything to me anyway and because I know how she is, she will put the blame on me. Just makes me wonder if she's completely removed me from almost every form of contact, how can she just go on with the fact that nothing was done wrong.

 

I don't know but I could never do the same thing to another person..I never expected this from a girl that I knew for years and thought she was so unique from everyone else. Boy was I wrong.

 

I don't really care if she feels bad for what she does, I don't want her to feel revenge or anything just to realize that what she did was wrong and everything she's said about not going from one person to the next was a lie.

 

She dragged this break on for almost a month and a half and just got with this kid?? She's only known him for almost a year. Took her at least 4 months to get with me after she was dumped by her ex fiance.

 

I can just tell this isn't healthy at all for her and I really don't know what she is thinking..but watch her be with him for a year or two like she was with her other bf's and I guess I wasn't good enough to get a chance for her to get used to me.

Posted (edited)
She posted those pics and removed me from facebook as an action to show me she is with that guy. The album is even titled one of life's better changes.

She should've named that album "The Beginning of My Journey to The Jerry Springer Show." This girl has clearly shown herself to be a very selfish, immature, disrespectful, and cowardly person. I can think of a million other ways to describe her actions and herself period, but I'll keep those to myself.

 

You can do so much better than her HLP. You waited this long and invested so much time and energy sticking it out and trying to make it work. Don't feel bad about that dude. Be proud. As undeserving of your love as she is, if you can be such a good person to her, you can be just as good of a person to the next person who comes along in your life. I'm sure that person will be far more deserving of your love than she ever was.

 

Remember the old saying "Karma's a b****" and keep in mind that sooner or later, the consequences of her actions will catch up with her. Chances are good things won't work with this new guy and she'll end up alone and with a reputation of broken relationships behind her....all initiated by herself. She won't be bragging about "life's better changes" when that day comes.

 

Hang in there and focus on yourself from here on out. Heal your heart and before you know it, you'll meet another girl who will give you far more love, devotion, and respect than your ex ever did. As hard as it is to imagine now, that day will come. Just hang in there and get a little selfish!

 

Oh, and just think...you and your new love can kick back on the couch, cuddle and kiss, and watch your ex wail and cry and duke it out with the new guy and his grandma on Jerry Springer!:p

Edited by blackbear_703
accidentally submitted before finishing
Posted

Total bi*** move by that girl. Who would post pictures of themselves making out with somebody, on facebook? She screwed up with you, so don't give her your time and heart anymore. She doesn't deserve it.

 

Move on man. You WILL find someone you deserve.

  • Author
Posted

Although sad, I have realized that she has no respect for herself or me. Things may seem good with her and her new friend for now and maybe months down the road as well. But from what I know of her past relationships, it may end the same.

 

At least I learned something I suppose. I won't be able to give myself over to someone like I did with her, I'll always be weary.

 

Her cousin(guy) sent me a message on myspace asking WTF happen between us and he knows both sides. He agrees he can not believe what she did. No one can if they knew not only what she's probably telling her friends, but my side as well.

 

I'm proud of the fact that I didn't turn into an ******* like many others would have. I'm still me and I will always be myself and those who know me, I have many friends in different states and even overseas; I could go meet them years down the road and their perception of me would never change.

 

Apparently, she thought I changed..but the only person who changed was her. For as long as I knew her, and knew her very well, I would never expect this from her.

 

At least I know I didn't do anything wrong to make her choose what she did. I thought she would come back here, we would talk about things because all she's said was she needed to be around her friends and get her head straight. Even if she did not choose to do what she did and we talked and it had a proper end, I would rather have that then just be completely abandoned.

 

I'm glad I can write on here and get many opinions from people who are going through the same situations. I know its hard and it will take me a looong time to even get over this completely, but as of right now, there's more to life than relationships..they seem like such a waste of time when you invest so much and the other person has no clue what they want or just plays games.

  • Author
Posted

Damn I thought it would get easier, seems like I can go through the day alright, not thinking about anything..but at night it just all comes back. Its like I am more hurt because of the way she went about this rather than her leaving me..I try to equate the two but it just seems so low to do something like she did.

Posted

Night times are usually the worst.

It's when the world shuts down, apart from the broken hearted.

It's usually when we break down.

 

Try to exhaust yourself physically before you go to bed; it might help sleep come that bit faster. Then you just need to worry about the dreams.

Posted
She should've named that album "The Beginning of My Journey to The Jerry Springer Show." This girl has clearly shown herself to be a very selfish, immature, disrespectful, and cowardly person. I can think of a million other ways to describe her actions and herself period, but I'll keep those to myself.

 

You can do so much better than her HLP. You waited this long and invested so much time and energy sticking it out and trying to make it work. Don't feel bad about that dude. Be proud. As undeserving of your love as she is, if you can be such a good person to her, you can be just as good of a person to the next person who comes along in your life. I'm sure that person will be far more deserving of your love than she ever was.

 

Remember the old saying "Karma's a b****" and keep in mind that sooner or later, the consequences of her actions will catch up with her. Chances are good things won't work with this new guy and she'll end up alone and with a reputation of broken relationships behind her....all initiated by herself. She won't be bragging about "life's better changes" when that day comes.

 

Hang in there and focus on yourself from here on out. Heal your heart and before you know it, you'll meet another girl who will give you far more love, devotion, and respect than your ex ever did. As hard as it is to imagine now, that day will come. Just hang in there and get a little selfish!

 

Oh, and just think...you and your new love can kick back on the couch, cuddle and kiss, and watch your ex wail and cry and duke it out with the new guy and his grandma on Jerry Springer!:p

 

 

Agree. She doesn't deserve your time and energy.

  • Author
Posted

I've been hanging in there mostly. I can't believe its so tough though. I go out a lot now..spending more money each time with friends drinking and trying to meet new people. It definitely is tough when you haven't been out for a while with a goal to get new numbers and such.

 

Still bothers me that she never even said anything at all, not even a message or email telling me she moved on like that. All she's said before about this guy and not dating him because he was like a brother to her, was all BS. And going from me to him in not even a month or so also contradicts what she told me when we were dating.

 

No one deserve this. At least give the real reason and let someone move on, why you would just cut that person out completely while you are on a "break," especially when they were the ones always talking to you and you were just giving them their own space, its just beyond my imagination and its cruel.

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