prettybaby Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I'm not even sure what kind of feedback I'm looking for here. I basically found out today that my boyfriend's sister in law ... no, wait, let me rephrase that: - my boyfriend used to be engaged (like over 10 years ago) - she cheated & broke it off shortly before the wedding - my boyfriend's brother is married - ... now, his brother's wife turns out to be my boyfriend's ex fiancee's twin sister I just found out today. I don't know why it weirds me out so much. I guess it's maybe the "identical twin" aspect. I have the strangest thoughts crossing my mind at full speed now. Like, his sister in law basically looks exactly like his ex fiancee. I actually used to wonder what his ex might look like, and now it hits me like a bus that I've been hanging out with her carbon copy for the past year. I mean, it's weird looking at her now and thinking this could have been my boyfriend's wife. I mean, this is a woman he found attractive and wanted to marry, right? I have the weirdest mix of emotions going through me right now, and I can't even put words on how it feels. It's just ... bizarre I guess. He dropped me off at my place an hour ago, and it was a bit awkward. I didn't really feel like talking about it, because I knew right away there was really no point and that there's basically nothing to discuss. I mean, the past is in the past, and those are factors that neither of us can change. Plus, those factors don't really have anything to do with our life as it is right now. So I'm not angry or bitter at anyone here. It's just, the situation is odd and I've never been in this type of position before. I don't even think I'll bring it up again, I don't know. I hope it won't be weird tomorrow when I see him.
Green Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 yeah its pretty weird and I guess upsetting because that means his ex will forever be in his life as a sister in law and he has to look at the image of his ex
johan Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 You're better looking, sweeter and smarter. To him, she will only ever be a reminder of a very close call.
Author prettybaby Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 You're better looking, sweeter and smarter. To him, she will only ever be a reminder of a very close call. That's really kind of you to say, but how would you know? I mean, he still seems bitter about the whole thing. I guess I would care less if I could see clearly that it no longer affects him one bit, but I think it still does. It was a major heart break from what I understand, so I suppose that makes this whole bizarre situation even a little more awkward.
Star Gazer Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 My BF is an identical twin...but they are sooooooooo different. It's taken me over a year to really "get" that. Other than seeing what her twin looks like, they're very, very different people.
Author prettybaby Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 Don't get me wrong though; he wouldn't want her back and I have no doubts about that. I don't feel threatened in any way here. It's just, so weird! I can't seem to wrap my head around it.
confusedmuch Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 It is a pretty crappy situation, being reminded of your ex on such a regular basis. But the question is whether he still has feelings for her. If he does, then it's a crappy situation. If he doesn't have feelings for her anymore then it makes no difference. I've met and been friends with several pairs of identical twins in my life. They were usually so different in personality that while it was strange to see this person that looks so much like the person I was good friends with, it also felt like their twin was another person entirely, including the looks! Personality can really change the way someone looks to you.
Author prettybaby Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 I'm not concerned about him having feelings left for her, because he's made it very clear that he would never give it a second chance even if he could. Plus, it was so long ago, I'd be silly to worry about it at this point. I'm not concerned about any of this threatening our relationship either, because our relationship has grown into something extremely solid. Basically, I'm not concerned about this having any impact on us at all. It's just that it feels a bit weird to me now that I look at his sister in law and basically see his ex fiancee's face. I mean, how bizarre! It's not something you face every day. I guess it's gonna take some getting used to. Thank you for reassuring me that identical twins can and often are very different personality wise. He said the same in different words.
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