BreakingUpIsCrap Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 My story is long, but I met my immediate ex 18 months ago an dwe hit it off right away. We've both got kids, mine lives with his mum, while my ex is a single parent. The first few months things were quite difficult as we had clashing parenting styles, and she was the real first long term relationship that I have had since my marriage breakdown 3 years ago. But in the end things started working out and we fell ever deeper in love (or so I thought). Then the credit crunch came and hit me hard. I have lost almost everything I ever had, the job, the good house, the income, everything. AT first she was supportive as I set to start a new business. The she started being distant, "forgetting" to come round. Not returning my calls etc. Then it happened, I found some text messages from a guy. Turns out they have been texting for the last year! I kept it quiet and kept a closer look at her, and I realised that in the last six months, that pulling away and keeping private was just to create room for her new beau, who lives 4000 miles away anyway. In August she gave me the classic "we need a break", I was expecting it.... and said yeah, why not. Within days she was not for the idea any more. Now, I have been quite depressed and stressed out about my financial situation, and it has beaten me in all ways. All I needed for her to tell me was that everything will be fine and that she'll always be here. But nothing doing. In the end I broke and text my ex form years before my marriage. Current ex found the text and went allistic, she used that one reason to completely take off. That was 3 months ago. Now in that three months we've had arguments, reconcilliations and more arguments. 10 days ago I let her know that I have known about her new man for the last 6 months. She went weak kneed and was completely floored. She then went home, and got really angry at me, for keeping that from her for so long. She then wanted to get back together, but I suspect Mr NewMan has been talking her against it. Then she started telling me what a decent man he is, that he's been there throughout our relationship and has been "supporting her" through the drama. She has confided in him, and forgot to tell me what her issues were in the first place. Is it any wonder that HE is doing all the things that I wasn't doing? Anyway, our last emailing session was last Monday, and we haven't been intouch since. Question is.... Is it too late to NC? I know I don't want her back. Please excuse any errors above, I'm too tired to proof read.
Space Ritual Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) Nope, you can start from this point forward. I commend you for having the will power to keep going with her even though you knew about the other guy. It must have been hell for you knowing all the while she was lying to you. remember that in some cases it takes more than one attempt at NC, so if you break it don't feel too bad, for it has happened to the best of us. I suspect however that if you were able to keep your discovery under your hat that the NC will be more successful than you give your self credit for. Just delete her from your life as much as possible. It will be easier to do if you have no kids together. Block her email address and phone number from contacting you, block her from your social sites and by all means don't go looking at her social site pages. That is a sure fire way to throw the whole NC down the crapper. I think you will do just fine. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and begin anew Edited December 30, 2009 by Space Ritual My spelling sucks...lol
Angel1111 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Wow, she hasn't been really fully in the relationship from the beginning, has she? No, it's never too late to do NC and I think in this case, it's wise to start. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I hope your new business is working out.
Author BreakingUpIsCrap Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 Wow, she hasn't been really fully in the relationship from the beginning, has she? No, it's never too late to do NC and I think in this case, it's wise to start. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I hope your new business is working out. Hehehehe, it appears not, but somehow she finds every reason to blame me for everything. Including the crap sex considering all the work she did was ambush me and then lay there waiting for things to be done to her..lol Anyway, we had good deep political and economic conversations. My business is working out, bit by bit and my naughty twin can't wait to see her face when I pull up in my new set of wheels :D
Author BreakingUpIsCrap Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 Nope, you can start from this point forward. I commend you for having the will power to keep going with her even though you knew about the other guy. It must have been hell for you knowing all the while she was lying to you. remember that in some cases it takes more than one attempt at NC, so if you break it don't feel too bad, for it has happened to the best of us. I suspect however that if you were able to keep your discovery under your hat that the NC will be more successful than you give your self credit for. Just delete her from your life as much as possible. It will be easier to do if you have no kids together. Block her email address and phone number from contacting you, block her from your social sites and by all means don't go looking at her social site pages. That is a sure fire way to throw the whole NC down the crapper. I think you will do just fine. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and begin anew Thanks for the vote of confidence. Its day 4 of NC and things are great, I must admit that sometimes during the day certain rude words escape my lips. That's not me at all, but I'll soldier on. I'm slowly deleting her from my life, luckily I closed off my FB 12 months ago, and she's off both my skype and gmail lists. Only issue is that our sons are in the same class and that will be a toughie as the boys love each other lots. I will definitely avoid the school run for the time being. The will power in knowing about the other guy was fueled by the fact that I could see right through the lies. There were times when I nearly broke on hearing such blatant lies coming out of lips that would then feebly try to kiss me, or the kids! The one that took the buscuit is how she admonishes "cheats". She labelled me the biggest cheat she'd ever met. makes you wonder whether she does look at the mirror..lol Anyway, it's New Years ee, it;s dark outside, I'm going to get plastered and might even pull while out there. Have a fantastic new year folks, and know that the advice on here is amazing. I'll be reading and posting, too...
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