JL911 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 My gf and I have been dating for over 2 months and have been exclusive for over a month now...Early on when we started dating she mentioned a trip to visit some good friends and kinda asked me if I would like to come along. At the time I didnt know if I would last this long or what would happen. Well she asked me once more if I wanted to go and I told her yes, that I would love to. The idea of spending a few days just her and I are kinda both fun and scary. I think this may really put things to a test, not to mention I am going to meet some of her best friends who also will surely be sizing me up. I'm fairly calm about the matter, and think I do fairly well in these types of social settings, but think it is a lot of pressure to put on a guy for one weekend. At the same time I see this as somewhat of a challange that I embrace where she must feel very strongly for me...Enough to want to put me on a plane and take me on a trip to meet her friends to get thier opinion...That really says a lot to me. Lets hope I come out on top in this one... Whats your take on this idea of hers?
Lauriebell82 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Hmm, 2 months isn't that long of a time before taking a trip together, however since it's just for one weekend it might be okay. Are you staying in a hotel together? Or with her friends? The fact that she wants you to meet her friends does show that she feels good about you, like she wants to "show you off." The only thing I would caution you about is that spending 24/7 with someone can be a bit intense, especially early in a relationship. I suggest you do give yourself a break from each other at some point in the trip, like tell her you'd like to take a walk or if she wants to go hang out with her friends and just have "girl talk" then you can go explore. That might take some of the pressure off and then you two can gab about what you did without each other.
Author JL911 Posted November 18, 2009 Author Posted November 18, 2009 Well it wont be 24/7 its only going to be like friday night - sunday so lets say 2 days... I do very well in meeting people, and have in the past done very well in spending days with girls I have dated. Her friends will be able to occupy her time as well so I dont think theres going to be much pressure on me as far as far as picking restaurants and places to go. Im just kind of along for the ride really... I can do this...
Lauriebell82 Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Well it wont be 24/7 its only going to be like friday night - sunday so lets say 2 days... I do very well in meeting people, and have in the past done very well in spending days with girls I have dated. Her friends will be able to occupy her time as well so I dont think theres going to be much pressure on me as far as far as picking restaurants and places to go. Im just kind of along for the ride really... I can do this... Well I meant that it would be all day/night for 2 days straight. Sorry, wrong wording. Anyway, that's great that you have confidence in yourself..that will help and go a long way on the trip. Sounds like you have a good attitude so I'm sure you will be fine. Have fun!
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Relax and enjoy. At the 2-month mark with the last guy I dated, we went on a weekend trip together and it worked out fantastically. Neither of us was meeting new people (like in your situation), but I think you'll do fine given your confidence.
Star Gazer Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 BF and I started doing weekend trips (skiing) together, either alone or with friends, at about the 2 month mark. It worked out well for us...
BlueHarvest Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 BF and I started doing weekend trips (skiing) together, either alone or with friends, at about the 2 month mark. It worked out well for us... Must be nice to have liquidatable funds and free time... I'm not jaded. But I just think that's my issue. I wouldn't say I'm a penny-pincher, but I just always try to *not* waste money on frivolous things. A bad habit I picked up from my mother. To me, paying for a $15/month game subscription is cheaper then going to the bar/movies. Alot cheaper. When you consider that me gonig to the bar will result in about a $30 tab, plus another $30 if the local towing company decides that my car wasn't parked in the right spot that night. (I live in a college town and it's really annoying, they do it to keep the college kids from parking where they shouldn't...so it ends up being a hassle for anyone to find legit parking without going to a damn parking garage) Regardless in my mind I see two options (A: $15/month for unlimited fun or B:$40-60 for a *single* night of fun). I need to find a compromise somewhere, I'm 25...and while I still enjoy playing games online and make friends occasionly within my area...it's not necessarily considered a "social activity".
USMCHokie Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Depends on how comfortable you are with her...my ex and I went on a 7-day cruise about a month and a half or so into dating...and it was easily the best vacation I had ever been on...it was the only time we could both go, and we both needed a break, so it was then or never...and it only brought us closer together...it definitely fast-forwarded the relationship...but then again, we had known each other for a long time but had gotten out of touch over the years...so the creeper factor wasn't there....so I'd say a weekend trip is relatively safe...at least you're not stuck on in the middle of the ocean having to share a bed if you two end up not getting along...and driving from DC to florida....and back...ah, the memories... ::tear::
VeveCakes Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Must be nice to have liquidatable funds and free time... I'm not jaded. But I just think that's my issue. I wouldn't say I'm a penny-pincher, but I just always try to *not* waste money on frivolous things. A bad habit I picked up from my mother. To me, paying for a $15/month game subscription is cheaper then going to the bar/movies. Alot cheaper. When you consider that me gonig to the bar will result in about a $30 tab, plus another $30 if the local towing company decides that my car wasn't parked in the right spot that night. (I live in a college town and it's really annoying, they do it to keep the college kids from parking where they shouldn't...so it ends up being a hassle for anyone to find legit parking without going to a damn parking garage) Regardless in my mind I see two options (A: $15/month for unlimited fun or B:$40-60 for a *single* night of fun). I need to find a compromise somewhere, I'm 25...and while I still enjoy playing games online and make friends occasionly within my area...it's not necessarily considered a "social activity". Dude, you only live once. Don't waste your life stuck inside playing video games all the time!! Yes it can be expensive going out, but you need to socialize at this age or you will grow into a creepy old man with no social skills.
laRubiaBonita Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Well it wont be 24/7 its only going to be like friday night - sunday so lets say 2 days... I do very well in meeting people, and have in the past done very well in spending days with girls I have dated. Her friends will be able to occupy her time as well so I dont think theres going to be much pressure on me as far as far as picking restaurants and places to go. Im just kind of along for the ride really... I can do this... will you stay in a hotel, or with the friends? i think it sounds like fun.... just go with an open mind and look to have fun.
Lauriebell82 Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Dude, you only live once. Don't waste your life stuck inside playing video games all the time!! Yes it can be expensive going out, but you need to socialize at this age or you will grow into a creepy old man with no social skills. Yeah, seriously! You don't have to spend a fortune on a vacation, actually a weekend trip isn't as much as you'd think it was if you track down some good deals! I mean you don't have to stay in like a 5 star resort of anything to have a good trip/vacation!
Star Gazer Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Must be nice to have liquidatable funds and free time... I'm not jaded. But I just think that's my issue. I wouldn't say I'm a penny-pincher, but I just always try to *not* waste money on frivolous things. A bad habit I picked up from my mother. Your entire post has nothing to do with the OP, you realize that? For me, weekend ski trips are *not* "frivolous." It's a luxury for some, for sure, but IMO there's absolutely nothing frivolous about spending money on an activity you absolutely love and can enjoy with your SO. Whether it's skiing, or hiking, or doing home improvement, or going to the gym together, couples need quality time together, beyond just coming home from work and making dinner and crashing on the couch to watch the Amazing Race. Little weekend trips are just the ticket... and they don't have to be expensive at all.
BlueHarvest Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Your entire post has nothing to do with the OP, you realize that? Not all thread have to be completely pertinent to the OP. Some may skew a little off-topic. This is a public forum you realize right? I felt it was at least somewhat pertinent to the topic at hand which was trips with SO's. For me, weekend ski trips are *not* "frivolous." It's a luxury for some, for sure, but IMO there's absolutely nothing frivolous about spending money on an activity you absolutely love and can enjoy with your SO. Whether it's skiing, or hiking, or doing home improvement, or going to the gym together, couples need quality time together, beyond just coming home from work and making dinner and crashing on the couch to watch the Amazing Race. Little weekend trips are just the ticket... and they don't have to be expensive at all. Oh, I agree...ski trips are not frivolous. But I'm talking about day to day activities, at best I'm talking about minor weekly events. Ways to incorporate events into your life that are reasonable, and yet off-the beaten path. For some it's easier then eithers, and you can't disagree that people *with* money have an easier time doing this then those with *less* money. I'm not dirt poor, but Im not bringing in 6 figures a year either.
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