Ophelia Rue Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Hello, everyone! My name is Ophie and I've been wandering the boards for a little while now. I finally decided to post and come out of my shell. (: So I have a bit of an issue, and I was hoping to get some advice about it. You all seem like friendly and helpful people. It might be a bit long so I apologize in advance. (Oh, and before you read this, we're not lushes...it's just that everything interesting happens when you're partying, right? (: ) I met my boyfriend Ryan last year after Thanksgiving. At first I wasn't looking for anything too serious, maybe just a little fun, to be honest, until a Christmas party we went to together, when we got a little drunk and he told me "I definitely think I could love you." Ever since we've been together we've had a lot of fun, we see each other every weekend and have rarely fought about anything. I think I remember us getting in one little fight the whole time we've been together. He is very affectionate towards me and is always, always there for me when I need him to be. I have yet to hear those three little words, though. Last time we were shyte-faced drunk together about a month ago, we were in his car and right before we got out, he said, "Did you remember your purse? I love you." I said it back. (I never get black out drunk, I always remember everything.) I remember in the beginning of our relationship, I used to get drunk and tell him I loved him quite often, and he would always say it back, but I stopped doing that. On Saturday night, we had a couple too many and he asked me what I wanted for my birthday in a couple of weeks. I said I didn't want anything (an obvious lie) and he asked me if I wanted a ring, and he said he would buy me one so everyone would know I was "his", and asked me what my ring size was. (!!!) I'm brushing it aside as more drunk talk...but still. Why can't he tell me he loves me? Does he expect me to say it first? All signs point to yes but I still want to hear the words. Should I say it first? Ladies and gentlemen, both sides of this argument are greatly welcomed. (:
carhill Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Firstly, drink less. You'll thank me later in life. Second, how old are you and he? Thirdly, IMO, sober, he should say it first. You've definitely been together long enough. Lastly, welcome to LS
Author Ophelia Rue Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 Thank you. (: I am 23. My 24th birthday will be in a couple weeks. Ryan is 25. Should I put an expiration date on it? That's really what I want to know.
carhill Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Can you have a serious relationship talk about how you feel about each other when you're sober?
Author Ophelia Rue Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 Hmm. That is a good question. I'm not sure how he would take it. I guess I'm just a little scared to bring it up. I don't want to mess anything up, or make him feel uncomfortable, but I also feel like I'm missing out.
carhill Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 In that case, I'd put an expiration date on this simply because, without intimate communication, you'll have no idea when the goods are going to spoil. TBH, reading, I thought you were younger, like early college age. You're both old enough to be clear about what you want and how you feel about each other, especially if he's making drunk noises about rings...
Author Ophelia Rue Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 Lol, very good point. My post probably sounded like we were younger because sometimes it feels like the whole relationship is a bit immature...but still fun, and I still love him. It just makes me sad to think that I may be wasting my time on someone who can't even tell me he loves me. ):
carhill Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Just so I'm clear, he has told you he loves you (directly to your face) but only when inebriated, correct?
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