angelface78 Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 (edited) Hi guys. I hope everybody is doing well. Well most of you know my story. I was engaged..in a 5 year relationship. We broke up in late June. I was NC for 3 months. The first month we were apart my ex met someone. I dont know how serious he is about this girl. Everybody says she is a rebound but im starting to believe he is serious about her since i see their myspaces. I just cant stop torturing myself by looking. My question is should i delete myspace altogether. I want to do that.. but its like a part of me doesnt want to let go. I know he still looks at my myspace. I know he is not 100% over me. I feel like the moment i delete it he will just forget about me. He will no longer go in there and see my pics and he will forget i even existed. He will just go on with his relationship with this new girl and be happy. I know these are really dumb thoughts becaue either way myspace or no myspace he is still with her. I dont know i guess i feel like as long as he can see my myspace he will realize one of these days what a mistake he made. The reason i want to delete it is because his headlines and moods are killing me. He posts healines like "i cant wait to see you shorty" He knows i look at his myspace and i feel like he does it on purpose ;( I can also see her myspace (which he doesnt know i have seen) and it just kills me. I have tried not to look but i just can't do it. What do you guys think? Should i delete it? Will he just forget me once my profile is deleted? I know it doesnt even matter anymore ...but im so stubborn. Please i value everybodys advice. Thanks in advance. Edited October 16, 2009 by angelface78
GrayClouds Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 It does not matter if he does or does not forgive you. Forget him. The thread should read "I am Proud of Myself, I am Taking Care of My Needs" Congratulation, now keep the focus on you and taking actions to help yourself.
Author angelface78 Posted October 16, 2009 Author Posted October 16, 2009 So delete it?? LOL! Im thick headed.
GrayClouds Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Likely you have giving more consideration to his feeling about doing this then he has about yours in the last 3 month. Your love of your life can not find you until you let this one go.
onewillburn Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Hey angelface, I read these boards a lot over the summer and I always like reading your posts because you seem so sincere. I hope you're doing well. Anyway, if he has no way of checking up on you, he may miss you even more. But it's also possible that he won't. But you shouldn't make decisions based up whether or not he will or won't forget you. Delete your myspace if it will help you heal, don't worry about him or anybody else.
Author angelface78 Posted October 16, 2009 Author Posted October 16, 2009 Awww thank you Onewillburn!! Its sooo hard.... Im tired of hurting!! I feel like this is the last thing i have to do. I just want to know what my fellow LSrs have to say. WELCOME TO LS!!!!
NopeNah Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 I think you're considering doing this more for him than you. It's almost (to me) like you want to delete it so he will possibly miss you...I could be WAY off here but, that's the vibe I get from your post. Anyways...are you still "friends" on myspace with him? or is his account public?
Author angelface78 Posted October 16, 2009 Author Posted October 16, 2009 Ill be honest Yes in part i want him to miss me. ..but the main reason is that if i dont have a myspace i wont be looking at his anymore. No he is not my friend on myspace. His account is blocked except his headlines and moods. He makes those public.
NopeNah Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Even if you delete it you'll still be able to see his moods/updates since it's public, right? The best thing to do is not look. I know it's hard but, look at it this way.. He left you. He's with her, not you. Why should you care what that *******'s up to?
scatterd Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 If he still cares about you my space wont matter.When you care about someone its in your heart.Try to think about yourself stay busy.If you are meant to be he will contact you.But I would move on.Having false hope will only make it harder to heal.
TheLoneSock Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Deleting your myspace isn't going to help you in any way. The best thing to do would be put it on private, or just stop logging onto it completely. Or both. Either way, just make sure you're doing this for you, and not for a reaction from him. That seems silly. You can't expect a reaction from him. If it's because you can't resist checking up on him or something, then yes, stop logging on. I wouldn't delete it though, it wouldn't accomplish anything unless that's the only way you could avoid going on there all the time.
Author angelface78 Posted October 16, 2009 Author Posted October 16, 2009 Youre right. I guess because it is public... i will still be tempted to go look for him even if i dont have a myspace... AAAAArrrgghhhh!!!!! I hate this s***!!! I guess i can just stop logging in for a while until im better!!!
t0ri Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 I know where you're coming from. I kept holding onto mine because I had 2384718237 messages from my ex on there, and for some reason didn't want to let that go. Also, I thought similarly to you and figured my ex probably checked on my status and mood and main picture, and if I disappeared from myspace, I'd disappear from his mind, as he'd have nothing left of me to see! Then suddenly, I just didn't give a crap anymore, and I deleted mine a few weeks ago. I can still see my ex's status and such, but I haven't been looking at it anymore, and I feel better having myspace just gone. I don't WANT him to check up on me anymore. You'll get to that point eventually He's not going to forget you just because your myspace is gone. He dated you for 5 years! He may not think of you as much as you'd like, but that will happen regardless of whether your page still exists. I agree with the others, though. Delete it if it will benefit YOU, not to attempt any games (like making him miss you) with your ex.
northstar1 Posted October 16, 2009 Posted October 16, 2009 Youre right. I guess because it is public... i will still be tempted to go look for him even if i dont have a myspace... AAAAArrrgghhhh!!!!! I hate this s***!!! I guess i can just stop logging in for a while until im better!!! You need to exercise some self control not to go looking. During the peak of my tough time coping, I didn't go onto any social sites for 3 months, because I knew my ex's profile was public and I didn't want any temptation. You'd be surprised how easy it is to walk away from those sites.\
Author angelface78 Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 It sucks because if it werent for all these sites..breakups would be what they used to be. Where u breakup and know nothing about the person. Instead there are all of these portals into their lives...but yes its up to me to have self control.
deux ex machina Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 You need to exercise some self control not to go looking. During the peak of my tough time coping, I didn't go onto any social sites for 3 months, because I knew my ex's profile was public and I didn't want any temptation. You'd be surprised how easy it is to walk away from those sites.\ A lot of it is just a habit. angelface, sweetie, seriously consider replacing checking his page for another, better habit that feeds you, not depletes you.
fofiffs Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 I think you should delete it till you know your completely over him. I deleted mine a while back ago and since then I havent been on myspace or checked hers period. It actually makes it easier.
Lamak Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 You should just delete it. It's just a badly designed, superficial, sexually charged site. Well, it's not that bad, but you get the point. Stay away from cyber time wastes and get out there and live.
onewillburn Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 This might sound silly, but maybe you can take out a piece of paper and draw a bunch of little empty squares on it. Every day that passes without you checking on his myspace or ANY kind of checking up on him, you fill in one square. If you check his page, you have to start all over again with a new set of squares. I would suggest starting with 21 squares, as I've read it takes 21 days to drop a habit. If you still feel the urge after 21, go for 40. Just a suggestion.
Author angelface78 Posted October 17, 2009 Author Posted October 17, 2009 thanks guys..... Onewillburn...thats a great suggestion. That is kinda how i got thru 3 months of NC. (although ive heard that as long as i was looking at his myspace i wasnt really in NC) but atleast i wasnt calling. I would cross out days on my calendar and just seeing all the little x's it helped me not to call! I will try that!
Exit Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Do your best to break this habit, it's over 6 months for me and I still let myself check her Myspace status and make sure her default Facebook picture hasn't changed.
GrayClouds Posted October 17, 2009 Posted October 17, 2009 Do your best to break this habit, it's over 6 months for me and I still let myself check her Myspace status and make sure her default Facebook picture hasn't changed. And when it does how is that going to make you feel? Your going to start the hurt all over again. NC means no contact. Not only does the practice keeps you from the physical interaction with other, but just importantly it helps you to move your thinking away from that place of hurt. That step is here healing begins. If you keep facebooking, myspacing and googling your really letting go.
openbook08 Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 It sucks because if it werent for all these sites..breakups would be what they used to be. Where u breakup and know nothing about the person. Instead there are all of these portals into their lives...but yes its up to me to have self control. aint that the truth.....due to my own stupidity & lack of self control, i now know what she looks like, her bday, where shes from ......... so i deleted FB.and never checked it again. best move i made. 365 days NC. prick.
HeavenOrHell Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 I would delete it if you cant resist looking at his status. I deleted my ex on fb but he immediately friend requested me again
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