htoofani Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Im a 19 year old guy living in toronto, canada and i met this wonderful 17 year old girl from cambridge (65miles from me) online in february and we just clicked. From day 1 i knew there was something special about her and as each day passed on, we taked more and more often all the while developing this "dating" scenario. It progressively became better and after 5 months we came to a point where we both knew we'd fallen for each other, because we'd be online for literally 6-9 hours just talking and what not. I felt that at that point, i needed to break the ice about it all so i called her up and told her that i loved her. At first she said "ohh wow" and then later she explained that she felt the same way for me but wasnt ready to give in just yet because she wanted to "be sure" about this. I said it was okay and to take her time with it. Next week, she confessed that she loved me too and to be honest, it was the most wonderful feeling ever our relationship had jumped to a whole new level and we could both feel it happening. People told me that since i'm brown and she's white, it wouldnt work out but i knew differently. We'd both text each other atleast 5 times an hour while we were out getting on with our day and online, we'd talk for hours before she had to leave and we'd still text until 4am and say i love you and go to sleep. I met her for the first time soon after and it was like heaven on earth. We walked around in her little town all night for 8 hours. we held hands and kissed and i told her that i loved her and she meant the world to me. we talked and had coffee and she even invited me to her basement to chill while i was waiting for my buddies to pick me up. Needless to say, we were in deeper than ever before. We even started making plans for the future although it was sometimes an in-the-moment thing. This was btw, my FIRST relationship. The trouble started when her ex from pakistan called her up after a year saying he wants to get back with her and wants to marry her and realized what hes done wrong. She told me this and she said that she just blew him off and we talked ablut it and she said that shed known him for 7 years and she was in 7000$ debt because she kept calling him and got kicked out of her house too and i said there was good reason why she broke up with him. as things progressed, he kept on calling and she wouldnt tell me but all the while it seemed our relationship was getting stronger everyday. i could tell just from the way we talked on the phone and the emails we'd write to each other. 7 months into it, she told me she wanted to be with me forever and that he was just "a bug that i cant get off and keeps calling me saying he wants me back". things started taking a downturn from there and we broke up 3 times in 30 days beacuse of it. Each time, coming back stronger, and each time it would get worse. The last time she called she said "i cant see myself without him, hes an ******* and a jerk and always gets what he wants and he needs me and im confused i dont wanna lose you to any other girl, youre perfect but i dunno, i just dont know". later that night she texted me saying she said shes weak and cant live without him so she cant talk to me anymore. i tried to be the bigger person by saying atleast we could be friends.. but i was devasted and i couldne see how i was going to go on. 2 days after, she texted me saying that the other guy broke into her hotmail account and saw the emails we wrote to wach other and that hes gone for good. that week i tried to get her back and i knew i was making good progress because by the end of the week, we'd text every hour of the day about everytihng and nothing and all. There was outrageous amounts of flirting and sweet talk and the whole feeling of being back to square one except we've neen ther before. Then, the "Bro" of the guy in Pak calls her up again saying he tried to kill himself and then he takes over and tells her he cant live without her. they talk for 2 days and all the while, me and her almost cease communication because his demand is that she stop talking to me. they got back together and she told me about it and she said she doesnt know why shes with him, theres not that many reasons to be with him and that he drives her crazy but she cant let him go. That was 1 week ago. The loss is unnerving. Ive never cried this much in my life and i think im going to dye of dehydration if my heart doesnt give out first from beating so painfully fast and hard. its not fair! he shouldnt be calling, still trying to ruin her life a year after they broke up.. how's that even acceptable? We still talk online and text each other but its inconsistent and i usually have to initiate it. She now disappears in the middle of conversations and pushes away any attempts from my side to get her back. I really want nothing mroe that to have her back in my arms because all the while, she just became a part of me and its hard even think about being without her.. She told me yesterday that she had an epipheny and she wants to know how to "stop her past from haunting her" i dont know what that meant or if I was her past but i told her ceasing communication would be the way to go. Her msn status now reads.. "i know what i did wasnt clever, but you and me, we're meant to be together. its my time to shine, my time to blow your mind" Could she be trying to prove herself to the other guy? I have a bad feeling about the whole situation, i know she still has feelings for me, but i think ive blown it big time. i just I dont understand what i did wrong but i want to know, can i get her back? if so, how??? any help would be appreciated and sorry for boring you with such a long tale..
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