ashleigh422 Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 SEX is really one of the last things on my mind right now... BUT... the guy I have known for almost a year who I went on a few dates with thus far just told me that he wouldn't have sex with me until we were dating for 2-3 months.. he just wanted to let me know so that there wasnt any expectations.... Prior to his blurting this out while on the phone last night, I was thinking of an amount of time, and being my situation, I was thinking more like 3-4 months. BUT the fact that he threw this out there is just making me confused... I mean.. come on.. hes a guy... What is everyone's take on this? Is this something that nice guys do? Wait? Or is it something else?
Bejita463 Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Maybe he just is not comfortable with the idea of doing that earlier than a certain general amount of time. Some people are like that. It is also possible that he doesn't want you to feel pressured to do anything.
Author ashleigh422 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 After I read it i felt the need to claridfy: I have been freinds with him for almost a year (we both met when we were in bad situations).. but just recently we met ... in the past week or so went and went on dates with him...
Bleeve Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 not a big deal...everyone, guys and girls just have different time frames where they are comfortable having sex His is 2 to 3 months, yours is 3 to 4 so around 3 months have some fun
EcstasyX6 Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 I think it's kind of refreshing for a guy to think that way.
SilverChrome Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 It's a good thing that he wants to take some time before you guys spend some sexy time together. I don't think there's a lot of guys like that around.
carhill Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 the guy I have known for almost a year who I went on a few dates with thus far just told me that he wouldn't have sex with me until we were dating for 2-3 months. I'm liking the message but the delivery style and method leave something to be desired... One, such things should always be discussed in person, IMO. Two, he sounds like he's telling you when he's going to have sex, rather than engaging you in a discussion about intimacy. Example of another IMO better method. "I'm really enjoying our time together and find you very attractive. For myself, I like to wait and get to know a person better for a few months before expressing myself sexually. How do you feel about that?" This fosters a discussion about intimacy as well as shows respect for the woman's POV and preference. OP, next time you're face to face, bring the subject up and talk about it. As I often say, if you can't talk about sex, you shouldn't be having sex
Author ashleigh422 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 HAHA.. I agree. The more I think about it I think its a good thing. I also think that the way it came up was better than I previously said.. I guess he didn't just blert it out.. he left it open ended for my POV.. he did enquire as to what I thought about that, because he didn't want me to be disappointed and expect more than he is willing to give... its just the way he is... I think the fact that we have known each other for longer than we have dated makes it make more sense. (We met online and began talking and talked for a while last time I was single, about a year ago.. I got back with my ex.. and we stayed friends and talked via email becuase he was concerned about the abuse and my children.. and becuase we generally had a freindship that formed.. we never met before a week ago).. he knows the whole situation.. It's not like its a ONS.. there is already time invested and feelings are definatly there.. I think all that makes it clear.. he is just being honorable..
aerogurl87 Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 SEX is really one of the last things on my mind right now... BUT... the guy I have known for almost a year who I went on a few dates with thus far just told me that he wouldn't have sex with me until we were dating for 2-3 months.. he just wanted to let me know so that there wasnt any expectations.... Prior to his blurting this out while on the phone last night, I was thinking of an amount of time, and being my situation, I was thinking more like 3-4 months. BUT the fact that he threw this out there is just making me confused... I mean.. come on.. hes a guy... What is everyone's take on this? Is this something that nice guys do? Wait? Or is it something else? Well my boyfriend waited a month to have sex with me because I told him he wasn't having sex with me till we were in an exclusive and committed relationship. I think if a guy really wants to be with you for you and not just your body, then they usually are willing to wait. Mine did and yeah I know he wanted to have sex with me but he didn't pressure me into doing anything with him which made him all the more irresistible.
Author ashleigh422 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Posted October 4, 2009 No matter what.. sounds like a challenge to me.. lol.. it;ll be fun..
Roxanna Posted October 4, 2009 Posted October 4, 2009 Maybe he's waiting an appropriate time period to get tested for STDs and find out he's clean before contaminating you, in which case you should stop being offended and thank him.
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