Can't read this girl

[Goatsbreath]

OK, Ive been talking to this girl for almost a month I guess. All of september. First met in real life at work but she was only in training at my place for week then transferred. So she gets ahold of me on facebook unexpected. Shes alot younger, 22, im 34 but she has 5 year old kid. I have none and my life seems alot more free I guess.

So first we chatted up facebook, then phone text/conversations, met once about 2 weeks ago and she always seems to busy to meet again but keeps saying she wants to. The one time we did hang out seemed pretty good. We text everyday many times through out the day and she seems interested. When I mentioned a movie she said she wants to and I made a joke about if she would let me hold her hand and she said "ofcourse you can hold my hand silly" But the movie never comes. She keeps saying shes really busy right now without to much description. I know she did just move back into her dad's house which she says when he leaves she will be more free. Hes moving out to another house he owns in a different state and letting her stay there to help her get on feet.

Anyway, I realize alot of this could be the move, her kid just starting school. I don't know, maybe its nothing. Think I just need to write.

[Devil Inside]

I know as a parent with a wife that I am so busy...I can only imagine how busy she is as a single mother.

 

I would also chalk up some of her flakiness to being younger and immature.

 

How do you feel about her? What read are you hoping to get?

[Goatsbreath]

How do I feel? hmm...im not sure. I like her. Shes fun to text. I'm about 10 months out my last relationship and about 2-3 months out break up sex and being stupid with a little hope of reconciliation. I'm a little lonely as I don't have any friends really where I am at.

 

This girl physically does not seem my type. Shes really attractive but in a made up way. All the clothes are like name brand and the makeup. Also, I don't know but she has really big breast and shes petite. I don't know if they are real or not to be honest! Sort of confused. Don't get me wrong, shes attractive but not in the way I'm used to. I'm used to cute girls if that makes sense. Sometimes they don't where makeup. I also notice she has some scandalous pictures of her on Myspace. I mean, they are not real bad, sort of like a black maid outfit posing sexy. Under one it says MILF...like she labeled herself that? Shes hot and to be honest its a little intimidating, haha.

 

She laughs and says how stupid guys contact her and say vulgar stuff like she would consider them with that type of approach. I said, well, its not a wonder they do with those pictures jokingly. I mean, its really to early for me to make judgements directed at her.

 

Anyway, when you talk to her in text and phone you forget she looks the way she does because she seems my type then. Shes funny, she draws, plays piano, and does stuff I wouldn't expect from her. Like, shes sort of a introvert.

 

So, I like her but I'm a little confused bye her.

[Goatsbreath]

so any other takes on this girl. She just young? She going to be wild and crazy? Thing is she don't seem wild. hmm

[Lucky_One]

I think that she is young. That goes hand in hand with immaturity.

 

She has started off pretty young with some pretty big responsibilities. She has a 5 year old, but she is still dependent on someone else (her father) even after 5 years of having to be a provider and parent.

 

She sounds like she is pretty flirty with you, and sounds like she might be pretty flirty with lots of guys.

 

Where's the baby daddy?

[New Again]

She sounds incredibly immature, and she is definitely not acting like someone who's interested in any kind of serious or committed relationship.

[hannie_1988]

Maybe just give it a time to get to know her better and see where it would take you. Don't feel insecure because it will get worse, trust me. I've been there and hated it.

 

Act cool, be laid back and take it easy. I'm sure you would be fine, if she really into you.. You will know it. If she's not the one for you then move on, there is always some else out there.

 

Plus, I know someone who has two kids and it gets really busy easily.. There's a lot of work going on and you gotta be patient with it. Having a kid isn't easy thing to do, as you know it by heart.

 

Remember, if she's not up for anything, don't be overbearing otherwise she might push you away.

 

Hope it helps.

[carhill]

she always seems to busy to meet again but keeps saying she wants to.

 

Words to my back-burner ears

 

OP, you're a time-filler/erstwhile fantasy. If she has time to IM you, she can go to a movie.

 

Next

[samspade]

OK, Ive been talking to this girl for almost a month I guess. All of september. First met in real life at work but she was only in training at my place for week then transferred. So she gets ahold of me on facebook unexpected. Shes alot younger, 22, im 34 but she has 5 year old kid. I have none and my life seems alot more free I guess.

So first we chatted up facebook, then phone text/conversations, met once about 2 weeks ago and she always seems to busy to meet again but keeps saying she wants to. The one time we did hang out seemed pretty good. We text everyday many times through out the day and she seems interested. When I mentioned a movie she said she wants to and I made a joke about if she would let me hold her hand and she said "ofcourse you can hold my hand silly" But the movie never comes. She keeps saying shes really busy right now without to much description. I know she did just move back into her dad's house which she says when he leaves she will be more free. Hes moving out to another house he owns in a different state and letting her stay there to help her get on feet.

Anyway, I realize alot of this could be the move, her kid just starting school. I don't know, maybe its nothing. Think I just need to write.

 

Her kid is her priority.

 

Don't date women with children. Too much of a headache. This one probably sees you as more of a provider than anything, anyway.

 

And texting all day every day? Don't do this. She knows now that she has you on her hook - if she ever wanted you, she's bored with you now.

 

Always give back 2/3 the attention you get. Remember this.

[Goatsbreath]

thanks for all your inputs. I am cautious as she has already started down the road of "how hard it is being a single mom" but I figured that's expected. She don't have a great job and I do so there is that fear that she sees me as something stable and financially supportive. I don't know?

 

As far as not being over the partying she don't drink and has told me she really never got to experience the crazy years except when she was real young I guess she drank, like age 14-17 and was crazy. I believe her cus I openly said I sometimes have a beer and she went on about how her sister is a alcoholic. So, I don't know why she would lie.

 

She mostly says she just wants to give her daughter a better life then her mom. I guess she resents her mom a little. She says she gives her daughter everything she possibly can. I really do see a real commitment to being a good mom.

 

The first time we hung out she also told me she suffers from panic attacks sometimes and issues with anxiety.

 

hmm, the father of her child is a deadbeat I guess. Hardly pays child support and moved far away but does sometimes make contact. According to her its only know that he is far away makes contact because he knows he can't be expected to actually spend time with his daughter.

 

Definitely in that list of things not to do I have thought about and pondered around in my head about such issues. I don't want to be someones idiot. Anyway, no talk has come of that really. Well, its way to early but we mostly joke around in texts and she tells me to learn stuff on guitar and we can play together songs, her on piano and me guitar.

 

As far as texting goes, I think you are right. I need to stop being so available. I already can tell this. I'm to reliable to just be there and respond. Should I just stop and let her wait a day or how do I just quit without making it seem like I'm not interested now?

 

Thanks everyone