Exit Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 If you missed my last thread, I was sick of trying to figure out my ex, so I waited at her house to confront her. Ended up confronted by the new boyfriend instead. It gave me the answer I needed, I walked away, and I've been moving on these last three days since. My only concern was that mutual friends would find out and I'd be laughing stock. So it came true. Tonight my friend asks me on AIM "is that what you did on Saturday night?". And we've been arguing about it. She's just hurt that she tried giving me advice all along, tried telling me to let go, and feels like I did her wrong by not listening and handling things the way I did. This is such high school BS. Can't believe she couldn't be an adult and not have to talk **** about me. I'd really like to contact her and tell her what a child she is but I know I just need to let it go.
NopeNah Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Yea..Just let it go,man. Nothing good can come from it. I'd also ask said friend to NEVER bring her up to you in any fashion, as you don't care to hear her name ever again. On edit.. as i was typing that I hit some key on this laptop that brought up old pictures of my ex..haha!
Author Exit Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 Yeah, all in all it's just helping me move on. I'm only more insulted that she told other people about this, and now I know I never want her again. Once again she's getting off on playing the victim, surely telling people I was stalking her, instead of the truth, that I texted her in advance telling her that I was likely to get frustrated to the point of showing up in person, and she could avoid it all by just texting me that she would like me to give up. Oh well... still talking to my friend on AIM, we'll see if this ends up tearing a friendship apart.
fofiffs Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Bro just let it go. You've already got your answer and there is nothing you can do. Your only screwing yourself by thinking about what happened. Just take it as a lesson learned. The more you think about it the more your gonna feel down. And like you said in your previous thread take sometime away from everything and find yourself again. Don't just say, Go do it now.
Author Exit Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 I am letting it go, I'm still feeling good and moving on, minus the fact that I don't know what's going to happen with this friend now. I knew all along the mutual friend situation was going to be volatile and it just blew up. I guess if I have to lose a friend on top of a relationship then so be it. I asked her if she defends me at all when she hears the stories and she hasn't answered me since. I'm 22, it's time to stop dealing with people I knew in high school, since apparently they still act like it.
fofiffs Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Just don't worry about what other people think. Right now you have to take care of yourself. If your friend is truley a good friend then he/she would understand what you did. Granted that you didn't follow the advice you were given but that doesn't mean you did your friend wrong. You were in love and love makes us do crazy things. And like I said I have been on the road that your walking on. Its not an easy journey but it will eventually end if you don't stop going. If you run out of gas just fill it back up and keep going till you get to your destination. You know what I mean
Ronni_W Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Tonight my friend asks me on AIM "is that what you did on Saturday night?". And we've been arguing about it. She's just hurt that she tried giving me advice all along, tried telling me to let go, and feels like I did her wrong by not listening and handling things the way I did. Hey Exit...don't let this 'aim' friend mess with your head! It's not her effin' business what you chose to do on Saturday night. It has nothing to do with her...how the eff is she taking it so personally and making YOUR actions about her? If I recall, you were okay with Saturday...or at least, you had gotten around to being okay about it. You got your answer, and that's what you wanted more than anything. THIS 'aim' friend is NOT being such a great friend, right at the moment. Tell her to BACK OFF and give you some space. Er...if that's what you think you need. Big hugs. Saturday was fine. You got your answer and that's what you wanted more than anything else. Don't let other people mess with your head, about that. Er...if you don't want to.
Author Exit Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 Yeah I'm still doing good, no worries. I am not ashamed about what I did. I bought flowers and waited for my ex to get home and tried to get an answer. I don't think I did anything wrong. I also TRIED to avoid a messy confrontation by texting my ex, telling her I was getting the urge to see her in person, and that she could avoid it by just texting me. I'm comfortable with how I handled things. Everyone else should be embarrassed for gossiping like we're 13 years old. My ex should be embarrassed for ignoring me in the first place instead of handling it like an adult. My friend has a very skewed view of advice, she feels because I didn't put it into action, I didn't "listen". That's completely wrong. I listened, and I valued every bit of her advice. I simply did what I had to do. And now she's behaving no better than my ex, she puts up an away message and ignores me, just like how my ex ignored me. Does anyone end a conversation like a freaking adult these days? Honestly I feel fine right now. Everyone else needs to get a clue lol.
Maxwell Sage Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Your position sounds suuuuper lame, Exit. I'm curious as to how long you were with said woman, and how serious things got.
Author Exit Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 Your position sounds suuuuper lame, Exit. I'm curious as to how long you were with said woman, and how serious things got. I was with her 1.5 years. Things were genuinely serious on my end, I thought she was the one. She said the same type of things, but I'm coming to realize she is a liar who likely didn't mean it.
BW007 Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Exit, buddy, your friend gave you solid advice and she is mad you that you hurt yourself, from how you describe it. She ain't laughing,, she sounds pissed and a little possesive of you(food for thought) I would kick your ass if I was your friend and you went with what you knew was going to beat on you. You were broken up and HIGHLY suspicious of this chick before you bought flowers anyway. It's new info you got and it sucks and your ex actually sounds like a bitch if she is talking to everyone but you. I think a lot of guys like you and I are not prepared for someone we love to turn crappy. That is my problem in a nut shell. I still think way too highly of someone who isa bitch in real life.
Author Exit Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 Well I'm not thinking very highly of my ex anymore, all of this nonsense is helping me move on. The girl I loved would never do this, clearly she doesn't exist anymore. I can understand my friend being mad at me. I just hope she doesn't stay mad. Yes I broke her advice, and did something very risky, but honestly, as far as I'm concerned, it worked. I am still feeling good, satisfied that I got the answer I needed and now I can move on. My ex was being so childish with ignoring me and not telling me anything, honestly I had no reason to believe she was even still with this guy. Having him come out of her house in the middle of the night was the reality check I needed, she isn't sitting around thinking about me. It will all work out. My friend will get over it if she cares about me. Or she can take my ex's side, there's a chance she might since they're both in the same group of friends. I've been pondering laying low for a while and not hanging out with too many people anyway, so if I lose this friend, I'll be alright. Honestly the one adult in this entire situation is the new boyfriend, I've got zero problem with him and he was man enough to stand there and talk to me. Too bad he's falling for the same piece of trash that I fell for. How ironic is that, he's the only one I don't have a problem with.
logitech Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Truth be told it is rarely the new guy's fault anyway. He is just trying to make his way with a new girl he has met etc. Like if someone's partner cheats on them, it is funny to see them blame the third party, when really the cheater is at fault.
Author Exit Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 Yeah exactly. I made sure I never dragged him into this the entire time. Even when I first found out they were together, I never said anything bad. It's not his fault. He doesn't know what he walked into. I wonder how he feels, being a few years older and clearly very mature from when I met him the other day, that my ex does stuff like this, gossips like a little kid, makes fun of someone publicly who did nothing wrong except being in love with her. If he's even aware that she is doing this. He even said stuff to me like "nobody's here to judge you", I was floored, he was being totally cool. Unfortunately my ex can't say the same, clearly she is enjoying letting all her friends judge me from whatever skewed version of the story she's telling. I'm realizing that deep inside, my ex is a sad little girl. I grew up being teased a lot and these days I seem to have an immunity to it, I'm not just faking it right now, I'm really not even bothered. I'm glad I could provide a little entertainment for people who don't have enough going on in their own lives. People like drama, let them have it. Whatever. I'm heading to bed, going to sleep well tonight.
DustySaltus Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 When my X and I broke up she did so many F'D up things to me (you know exit) that it should've been much, much easier to just walk away from the situation. But I kept trying to be a hero and work things out. It got to a point where my closest friend looked at me after a while and said, "Look, I can't give you any more advice on this situation because everything I suggest you are DOING THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE". That's when things really hit home. I don't know how close you are with this friend on AIM (In that situation if you were my close friend I would call you, not IM you online) but they are right until you stop hearing your friends and start listening, you are delaying the healing process.
Author Exit Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 How old is your ex? She's 23, but currently handling this like she's 17. but they are right until you stop hearing your friends and start listening, you are delaying the healing process. Well I did what I needed to do to start healing. If I took my friend's advice of "leaving it alone", I'd still be sitting here checking her MySpace, seeing if she read my letters yet. I guess I'm the only person who is happy with how I handled it, I have felt great since then. Anyone who is my friend should just be happy to hear that I am doing good now.
Odyssey Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 oh dear EXIT, one step forward & two steps back? But yeah, i agree she handled it badly.
Author Exit Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 Eh, last night was more like a small bump in the road, I didn't take any steps backwards. Still haven't heard from my friend who is upset about it, but I'm not going to chase after her. I explained myself and she was too immature to finish the conversation. I could understand if what I did on Saturday night had me crushed and on the verge of suicide, then my close friends could say "what the hell, I told you!". But the only thing that should matter to them is that I am getting over this girl and returning to happiness, which I am.
Chrome Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Hey Exit. I guess people are worried that you might have set yourself back a bit and they care for you so they dont want to see you doing something they feel might hurt your recovery period. I think if you did what you feel you needed to do? and you yourself believe it helped you to do that and you now feel better for doing it? Then its what you needed to do and it was the right thing for you. Good for you. I'm new here and same as everyone else I came looking for advice and to talk about my problem. I've got some great advice here. Both from reading peoples replies to my post, and from reading peoples advice to others in their threads. I've taken a lot of it in and tried to apply it to my situation and I think ts helped me a lot. Even in just a few days. But I'm also pretty certain theres no 'one right way' to fix everyone. Our minds are all different and stimulated by different things. As long as you feel what you did made things better for you and will help you in the long run then I think you did the right thing. I'm happy for you.
Recommended Posts