Your_Angel Posted February 26, 2003 Posted February 26, 2003 I just joined this board so i'm quite new to this. Anyway I've just started dating this woman that i've known for about 2 years. The things is (and i knew this before we got together) but shes bipolar, I don't have a problem with this and she knows i'll stick by her no matter what happens. Sometimes i can't take it though, the way she treats me. One minute i'm everything to her, the next shes arguaging with me over stupid things. She starting to upset me a great deal and now doesn't even believe that i love her. Shes started some new anti depressants and has only been on them about 2 weeks so its early days yet. I hope things get better but what if they don't? Shes threated to kill herself before and has attempted to before, i don't think i can take much more of this. What am i to do? Sorry if this is in the wrong forum, i need urgent help though.
Tony T Posted February 26, 2003 Posted February 26, 2003 Well, first you say in your post: "shes bipolar, I don't have a problem with this and she knows i'll stick by her no matter what happens." Then you later state: "...i don't think i can take much more of this. What am i to do?" Sounds to me like you've bitten off a bit more than you can chew with this lady. Dealing with a partner with a serious bipolar mood disorder is extremely difficult and often impossible. It takes more energy than most people have and it's an emotional juggling act that goes on forever. Without giving you a whole lot of reasons, I'm just going to tell you the problems have just started. People with this disorder usually bounce from one medication to another and rarely get it totally under control. The rapid cycling, highs and lows, euphoria and depression, etc., can all come with no real warning. Your best best is to move away from this relationship, which would be highly codependent anyway, as soon as possible. It will be almost impossible for you to have any semblence of a normal life with this person unless she has an incredible doctor who is willing to spend his or her time constantly managing medications and dosages for this lady. Your life will be a living hell if you stay in this situation. I feel so sorry for people who are bipolar. It's hell on earth, it's terrible, it's so sad. But you can't let guilt or other feelings cause you to be dragged into that kind of life.
Author Your_Angel Posted February 26, 2003 Author Posted February 26, 2003 Thanks for your advice Tony. I totally agree with everything you've said and i feel i should move away from the relationship even though we really havn't given it ago, i feel things will just get worse because of her condition. I hope she doesn't do anything stupid though, when i break up with her thats probably why i shouldn't do it yet and i should probably drift away from her slowly. If only i'd have known things were going to be this tough before we got together.
cindy0039 Posted April 6, 2003 Posted April 6, 2003 Tony - I just have to ask you this: What makes you such an expert on bipolar??
cindy0039 Posted April 6, 2003 Posted April 6, 2003 "Instead of receiving compassion and support, people with mental illnesses may be greeted by unsympathetic, unfair or hostile responses. Most of the intolerance can be attributed to the stigma that accompanies mental illness. As a society, we often perceive people who have a mental illness as strange, scary, even dangerous. These misconceptions frequently result in blatant discrimination. In fact, when people with mental illnesses are asked to identify the biggest problem they face, most say it is simply lack of acceptance." Regarding bipolar, the combination of medications and psychotherapy helps a vast majority of people with this illness lead happy, fulfilling lives. Ongoing encouragement and support from friends and family are also very important. It may be helpful to join a self-help or support group to help those coping with this illness.
Kat Posted April 6, 2003 Posted April 6, 2003 All I know about Bipolar I learnt of ER and even that isn't much
cindy0039 Posted April 7, 2003 Posted April 7, 2003 I agree that it takes a strong person to face the challenges of such a relationship. And perhaps the challenges of the original poster are too much and are not worth the payoff. This is entirely possible. I just wish the media and people in general were better informed about the facts of mental illness, the degrees of it, and that it is not fair to place a blanket assessment on a person or a relationship just because the word "mental illness" is attached. Just as with everything else in life, you need to get to know the person individually and then make a decision for yourself.
neversweet Posted June 15, 2004 Posted June 15, 2004 I'm new to this, as well, so please bear with me, if you can. My co-worker is bipolar. He divorced almost a year ago, was living in a tiny bachelor apartment, and began to spiral downward. Over-medicated, he'd go off his meds, feel so alone, and begin to drink, sleep, and little else. I care about him, told him as much, and made it clear I was there for him, day or night. He had his meds adjusted, was taken off his anti-psychotic meds, and is living with me. The combination has caused an improvement. He maintains a fairly blank expression, however, and speaks very little. It makes it difficult to interact with a person when one is getting such a small amount of feedback. It brings out my insecurities...but I don't want to pressure him to talk, as crazy as that sounds. I care a great deal about the guy, and I have no intention of asking him to move out...so I need suggestions on how to draw him out (is he uncomfortable? afraid?) The reason for this posting's title? I don't know if this lack of expression is all because of the bipolar disease and/or meds, or if it's partly his natural tendency! Hmmm...perhaps my login name should be 'Clueless'! Thanks...sorry for running on!
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