love_fool Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Long story short, my previous bf of 2 years was emotionally abusive to me, bringing me down and playing mind games until the end. He had identity issues, which included not knowing who his true friends were, what his true calling was, or which career direction he wanted. I am young, and fell hard and fast for what seemed like a genuinely caring boy until I realized he made up for his lack of looks by having the biggest ego and stubborn demeanor. He made me his target, even though I was the one who was willing to go through all the hardships with him. I tried to break up with him for good today, and was determined not to fall for his trap the second time (he openly admitted to me he fell out of love a while ago, therefore I didn't see the point why we should still fake it and be together). I told him how much he hurt me (literally calling me fat or chubby and ugly), and how much he controlled me (he controlled our sex life, how I should act, and how often we saw each other). He turned it all around and said that I was being inconsiderate and not looking at his point of view (which I always do, and I end up sacrificing my own needs and wants). Once again, he tried to bring me down saying it was my fault anyway for going back the second time and that it wasn't my words that I was speaking, and that I was forced by others to make my decision. That's when I slapped him on the left cheek, and he looked at me and held me down and then I lost it.. I went ballistic slapped him again an then hit him with my girly fist on the side of his head. Total spur of the moment, but I felt good. After that he ran away, just ran away from me. Impulsively, I chased after him and called his name.. and then realized that for once I spoke up for myself so then I walked back home in the other direction without looking back. I can't believe I did this, and I just want to relish the moment! I know I'll come across more bumps in the road, but after this I want him to realize that he should actually respect and understand the feelings of his future girlfriends. I don't even know what lies ahead but all I know is that I won't have to be hurt by him anymore and I can move on with my life. Oh by the way, it's his birthday today. I just felt like sharing this story to you all, because the first cut is the deepest but I'm on the road to recovering! Give me some input.
Author love_fool Posted August 4, 2009 Author Posted August 4, 2009 You... You hit him on his b-day? It was in the evening of the 3rd, and his birthday is today. And I wasn't going to go to his birthday lying that we were okay... To be honest I didn't expect that outcome.. the pent up anger inside unleashed itself.
mickleb Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 I'm such a pacifist but I get that, usually, you are too? Sounds like you couldn't help what you did and that you didn't really hurt him and that all the crap you took off him, came out, all of a sudden. I don't like to advocate it but maybe he deserved a slap around the chops? I don't know, hon, you do but I'm glad you've got a big loser out of your life. Take care of yourself (so you don't have to go around bitch-slapping any future bfs) x
Author love_fool Posted August 4, 2009 Author Posted August 4, 2009 Definitely is ironic because I'm the peace-maker in all situations (apart from this). He was my first love, so I glorified a lot about him because I nothing else to compare him to. Wonder what he's going through...
mickleb Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Oioioi! STOP wondering what he's been going through! He didn't do that for you. Wonder what you were going through to put up with him for so long, then wonder what you're going through now. Think about yourself, for the sake of YOU - and whoever you find yourself in a relationship with next. (This is your mental slap back to reality.) x
Author love_fool Posted August 4, 2009 Author Posted August 4, 2009 I just realized how selfish he was, and kept making me feel sorry and hurt for his side.. and yet he didn't even recognize my hurt. I just want my self confidence back and find a man that will actually appreciate me being there for him.
Author love_fool Posted August 5, 2009 Author Posted August 5, 2009 I wrote down a list for all his faults, and the major one that stood out to me was that he never, ever said sorry. Not even when I was crying so hard, not even when he knew he let me down, and not even when he was high on e and let a girl kiss him. This is making me feel so much better that I did this already.
NightLord1 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 You pretty much said it yourself "he made up for his lack of looks by being stubborn and domineering" or something like that... Regardless he was manipulative and abusive towards you and made up for his lack for self confidence with his looks (damn this guy must be a friggin ogre or something) by using the whole "dick" method to get girls and to keep them. When a guy has no looks or much of a personality to attract the opposite sex they have to lure them in some way and if you ever watch the show COPS and see all the ugly and drunk guys who get arrested for domestic violence that pretty much explains it right there. Hope you can keep that one out of your life and move on to something better. You were defending yourself and sometimes it takes a swift punch to the melon to knock the light bulb back on in someone. Regards,
Author love_fool Posted August 5, 2009 Author Posted August 5, 2009 I'm such a softie, I can't believe I used all the strength I could muster to hit him and make him feel how much I hurt because he couldn't answer me when I asked him how he made me feel. I'm just so glad he was man enough to not hit me back.. and to just run away.
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