aloneanddepressed Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 I'm trying to have no contact with my ex, but I decided to contact a close friend of his online. I know, not good, but I got some more answers at least. From what they are saying, he knows he hurt me, but I'm not sure if he cares or not. They don't really know this, and they admit he can be non sympathetic towards people's feelings for whatever reasons. They told me in his past relationships, he has always been on the other end of things; well he has been cheated on, the girl up and left etc. One particular relationship was apparently rather traumatizing. They are implying this may be why he may have parted the way he did, and possibly why he left me with no goodbye, no closure, no thoughts...nothing. Do you think this sounds likely? This makes me sympathize towards him more so, but still no excuse to part like he did. Leaving me with no answers, nothing. I have been hurt before as well, but I still have respect for someone's feelings. If he was treated poorly in the past and dumped I can see he may have fear of it happening again, and maybe he dumped me before I dumped him to avoid the pain. Its possible he has lied to people and told them he was cheated on and all, just so they feel sorry for him. Maybe he was the one that cheated, who knows. Well, I'm glad I spoke with the friend, but now I just feel more guilty like its something I did..like POOR him. Whatever, who knows what to believe. I give up, I think I have enough info now.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 He's a narcissist, if your suspicions are correct.
moo Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 My advice to you is to try NOT to understand him. He doesn't deserve your time or that energy. A and D, do something for you today. Make the rest of the day all about you and not him...You! Make yourself happy. It doesn't really matter why he hurt you so. He does not deserve your analysis. My sister told me that when I kept trying to analysis why my ex did that to me. Now, it's about you, not him. Let him figure out and deal with his own issues if he's man enough. You don't have to feel guilty; you don't have to help him. He's a big boy now.
wow123 Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Some people, guys and girls are far less emotional than others. A friend of mine just broke up with his girlfriend of six months. She was devastated he is completely fine. Just told me he broke up with her hasn't said a word since. He hasn't changed. He's neither more or less happy since the breakup. God I wish I could be more like him!
annxxdisaster Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 I wouldn't say he's a narcissist for making up lies like that, wouldn't a narcissist rather act like they left the other person? I doubt they would admit that someone cheated on them either, that wouldn't make you look like a very important, irristable individual now would it?
moo Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 they would admit being cheated on if they got something out of it, such as sympathy.
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