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He Can't Even Respond through myspace or facebook???!

aloneanddepressed

By aloneanddepressed
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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aloneanddepressed Established Member

aloneanddepressed

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Today is so difficult for me. For some reason, my breakup with my ex bf is really getting to me. I thought I was getting over it, but then boom, it just hits me. The last time I have seen him was the last week in June. I didn't find out it was over, until I talked to someone he knew. He never told me it was over, just cowardly disappeared, after 8 months. My thoughts are still at, how can this person not at least say something to me on Facebook or Myspace?? No text, nothing. I sent him an message on Myspace over a week ago. At that time he hadn't logged in, but he recently has, and it still says "unread".

 

I feel like he's going out of his way to not read the message, or say a word to me. Why would he never text me or nothing? I realize if its over, its over and he doesn't have to date me or talk to me like a friend, but my GOD. If I was the dumper, I would say "I'm sorry the way things ended, and I hope you are ok". Can someone tell me why he can't say this to me or something along the lines? Does he really not care about me? I'm thinking maybe he is a player. Who else does this sort of thing? What is so HARD about responding to a freaking human through a COMPUTER. I swear, some days I'm ok, then like today I feel like I'm flipping out again. I don't see how I can move on, when I feel he deliberately is ignoring me and never said goodbye or nothing. :lmao:

Exit Established Member

Exit

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Posted

He may just be trying to do the best thing for you by leaving you alone. The minute he writes back to you, you're going to frantically search for a glimmer of hope in his message, and find a reason to keep chasing him. He might be trying to save you from that.

 

He does sound like a coward for never breaking up with you in person and I'm not sure why you want someone like that back.

 

Yeah the good/bad thing about MySpace is having the ability to know if they read it yet or not.

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aloneanddepressed Established Member

aloneanddepressed

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I do NOT want him back. I don't know why people would assume this necessarily. I think I deserve enough respect from him to acknowledge something I took the time to write. To see a person trying to communicate and nothing?? I want to hear him tell me why exactly he never talked to me again. If he was an honest person, you think he could tell me , but maybe its not that simple. Maybe he was cheating on me, lying to me etc. Its a HORRIBLE feeling. I would never treat anyone like this.

 

He may just be trying to do the best thing for you by leaving you alone. The minute he writes back to you, you're going to frantically search for a glimmer of hope in his message, and find a reason to keep chasing him. He might be trying to save you from that.

 

He does sound like a coward for never breaking up with you in person and I'm not sure why you want someone like that back.

 

Yeah the good/bad thing about MySpace is having the ability to know if they read it yet or not.

lorilynne Established Member

lorilynne

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Assume all of that...he's a coward, he was cheating on you, he's a player. Would you want to communicate with a wimpy, manipulative, a**hole? I think not. So you don't need an answer. He's all of those things and that is why he is not responding to you. Delete him from your myspace & never go back to see his again. Same with Facebook. I'm sure you have plenty of people in your life that would actually respond to you...look here on this forum, we all did. When you wonder about him, post here, we'll always answer.

NopeNah Established Member

NopeNah

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I would never treat anyone like this.
That's good to hear but, you are not him. He apparently has no issue treating someone like this. "Closure", if there is such a thing, comes from within yourself. Nothing he has to say to you will make you feel any better about your breakup.
Charmaine_Champagne Established Member

Charmaine_Champagne

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you've asked several times and he is not willing to give u an answer. he got ur messages, he is choosing not to respond, it's selfish but its easier for him to just ignore them and thats what he is doing. He is a coward, u won't get answers from this guy. i broke 5 months of NC to pursue my ex for answers, i kept goin on and on, thinking i was venting 5months of stored up anger and that i would get closure the more i went on and on at him. i didn't, he won't admit he did wrong, he never will, he refuses to give me answers and in the end i pushed it too much and he pretty much told me to F*** off. You'll actually end up hurting more if he did give u answers anyway, you are gonna have to let this 1 go and make ur own closure. his actions towards u reveal enuff without words.

 

i felt i was owed answers as id been in a 6 year relationship, i felt i deserved an explanation, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. it is probably better not knowing to be honest. but don't torture yourself anymore with this. accept it that he is not willing to explain and try to move on.. i broke NC today fishing for answers and i made myself look pathetic in the process. please take my advice. NC from now on and who cares why he chose to end it, he did for whatever reason. now you must move on, do u really need answers from an idiot who thought it was ok to just abandon you. he would more than likely feed u a load of Bullsh*t that wouldn't really satisfy your curiosity anyway.

 

ahh if only i could take my own advice. i get so upset that people on here let as*holes treat them like crap and walk all over them.. and yet that is precisely what i have allowed my ex to do to me

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aloneanddepressed Established Member

aloneanddepressed

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Well, did your ex tell you its over, or anything like this? Are you saying he just "disappeared" or what? It just feels extremely weird. I would expect this type of behavior more so from say someone I dated for a few weeks, then they disappear. Not someone I've spent so much time with. He probably would give me a bunch of lies, even if he did come in contact. I guess I hate that I can't MAKE him talk to me. Like how dare him. I do know I deserve better. I just don't get what is so hard about saying something at least behind the computer..oh well I hope he never meets the right girl. He is one ***hole. :mad:

 

you've asked several times and he is not willing to give u an answer. he got ur messages, he is choosing not to respond, it's selfish but its easier for him to just ignore them and thats what he is doing. He is a coward, u won't get answers from this guy. i broke 5 months of NC to pursue my ex for answers, i kept goin on and on, thinking i was venting 5months of stored up anger and that i would get closure the more i went on and on at him. i didn't, he won't admit he did wrong, he never will, he refuses to give me answers and in the end i pushed it too much and he pretty much told me to F*** off. You'll actually end up hurting more if he did give u answers anyway, you are gonna have to let this 1 go and make ur own closure. his actions towards u reveal enuff without words.

 

i felt i was owed answers as id been in a 6 year relationship, i felt i deserved an explanation, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. it is probably better not knowing to be honest. but don't torture yourself anymore with this. accept it that he is not willing to explain and try to move on.. i broke NC today fishing for answers and i made myself look pathetic in the process. please take my advice. NC from now on and who cares why he chose to end it, he did for whatever reason. now you must move on, do u really need answers from an idiot who thought it was ok to just abandon you. he would more than likely feed u a load of Bullsh*t that wouldn't really satisfy your curiosity anyway.

 

ahh if only i could take my own advice. i get so upset that people on here let as*holes treat them like crap and walk all over them.. and yet that is precisely what i have allowed my ex to do to me

Charmaine_Champagne Established Member

Charmaine_Champagne

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yeh my ex just disappeared.. now this was my first love, who i was with 6 years (my original threads explain, the 1st ones i ever wrote on here back in feb- they are boring and i sound pathetic in them but i got good advice so read them and the advice will help u also)

 

now i followed the advice for 5months and today i decided to throw that all out the window, couldn't take it anymore, broke my NC and went fishing for answers- he wouldn't give me any, infact he took great delight in the fact i appeared to be hounding him and he was nasty to me. it's not worth it.

 

back in Feb my ex went funny with me, stopped replying to my texts, stopped getting in touch with me. he pretended he missed my calls or didn't receive my texts or emails- lies! then he just disappeared, just like that, a man i'd spent years with, a man i thought i knew so well. i was in limbo for ages, not knowing what was going on. he never told me it was over, but his actions spoke volumes. i found out sometime later through internet stalking what he was up to. so i tortured myself and went digging around for the truth like a woman possessed. i know what u are going through but believe what ppl on here are telling u. NC from now on and u can make ur own closure. these heartless cowards won't give us closure thats for sure.

 

i broke NC today and i feel like a fool, all i did was feed his ego and he gave me no answers, nothing. please learn from my mistake. walk away from this now and u still have some dignity left. i did have some, but i may as well have flushed it down the toilet after what i did today. he is not worth stressing over. let it go. u will look back and be relieved that u did not pursue it

 

i feel what u are saying, it's more the anger and disbelief that someone u thought u were close to and who cared about u could do this. it's like ''how dare they! i deserve better than that!" thats why u need to walk away tho, they don't deserve ur messages on facebook or wherever. but u can't be responsible for other people.

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aloneanddepressed Established Member

aloneanddepressed

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Wow, that is horrible. I can't imagine that after 6 years. Who does that, seriously? Well, it is just highly nauseating to wonder if the person really ever cared or if they lied. I'm left with all these questions. I hate that he is in control, like he doesn't have to speak to me. I want to get back at him somehow. I'm so mad! I have still been doing some "internet" stalking, and I wish I hadn't. Its torn me up. I saw he has all these girls added to certain websites. Its a bit odd, I don't know what to think. He just recently put up all his new pics for everyone to see...mostly girls that is. He seems like he constantly needs attention and wants to be surrounded by women. He put up this one particular picture, and it is a couple from some tv show he loves. The caption under the pic says "looking for my....", like he is looking for his girl just like the guy in the show. OMG, this makes me sick, like what the heck was I to him, nothing? He must be heartless, and I just can't believe it, he seemed like the nicest guy......:lmao:

 

yeh my ex just disappeared.. now this was my first love, who i was with 6 years (my original threads explain, the 1st ones i ever wrote on here back in feb- they are boring and i sound pathetic in them but i got good advice so read them and the advice will help u also)

 

now i followed the advice for 5months and today i decided to throw that all out the window, couldn't take it anymore, broke my NC and went fishing for answers- he wouldn't give me any, infact he took great delight in the fact i appeared to be hounding him and he was nasty to me. it's not worth it.

 

back in Feb my ex went funny with me, stopped replying to my texts, stopped getting in touch with me. he pretended he missed my calls or didn't receive my texts or emails- lies! then he just disappeared, just like that, a man i'd spent years with, a man i thought i knew so well. i was in limbo for ages, not knowing what was going on. he never told me it was over, but his actions spoke volumes. i found out sometime later through internet stalking what he was up to. so i tortured myself and went digging around for the truth like a woman possessed. i know what u are going through but believe what ppl on here are telling u. NC from now on and u can make ur own closure. these heartless cowards won't give us closure thats for sure.

 

i broke NC today and i feel like a fool, all i did was feed his ego and he gave me no answers, nothing. please learn from my mistake. walk away from this now and u still have some dignity left. i did have some, but i may as well have flushed it down the toilet after what i did today. he is not worth stressing over. let it go. u will look back and be relieved that u did not pursue it

 

i feel what u are saying, it's more the anger and disbelief that someone u thought u were close to and who cared about u could do this. it's like ''how dare they! i deserve better than that!" thats why u need to walk away tho, they don't deserve ur messages on facebook or wherever. but u can't be responsible for other people.

NopeNah Established Member

NopeNah

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You are going to drive yourself INSANE if you don't let this go!

1. He's not in control, YOU ARE!

2. He doesn't have to speak to you.

3. Stop internet stalking. It's getting you NO where but, square one each time!

Charmaine_Champagne Established Member

Charmaine_Champagne

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yep 100% agree. you are only torturing yourself.. i should know. it's not worth it, he isn't worth it

Sarah_louise1986 New Member

Sarah_louise1986

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Hello...

 

I have been reading your posts about your ex, and i am also in a similiar situation. My ex has now been ignoring and avoiding me for about 5 months now, and its **** because i see him as we sort of live in the same area.

 

My ex i think, well its pretty obvious he has abandonment issues. His mum abandoned him when he was a baby and his father committed suicide before he was born. Does you ex have any childhood trauma? Get abandoned etc??? How was he when you were together etc??? clingy? etc

 

Me and my ex were doing well, close, though he was very clingy, constantly texting me saying how amazing i was, like every 5 minutes.. i asked for some space as it was doing my head in, and he ignored for around a month. Finally I got him to meet up with me, and he said he adored me, felt the same way, fancied me still but couldnt do it again..

Never quite understood this 'couldn't' do it again but whatever... we said we would be friends, stay in touch, meet up... he pretty much has not spoken to me since that day. He works in my local shop, and if i go in he runs and hides in the back.. if he sees me in the street, he goes the other way, his friends tell me he is scared of seeing me... because he is a freak..

 

All this behavior was and still is too this day very hurtful. There is not a day that goes by that i dont think about it..and what the hell i did so wrong. Its made me ill.

 

You know i hope your ex is just a jerk because if he has got abandonment issues, he will of just been scared of getting close to you, emotionally connecting and so he left you before you left him. People with abandonment issues tend to hurt others before they get hurt first an trust me it totally trashes your mind knowing the only reason you cant be together is because of something he fears, that actually isnt really happening.

 

I hope my ex is a jerk too... but somehow with his history i know he's not, but i really wish he wish.. he gave up on us cos he thought i was going to leave him which was not true. He got scared, and it sucks as there is absolutley nothing i can do to make him see this, until he sees it himself, which he may never, and i also know that he may never ever talk to me again because of those issues..

 

Take Care

x

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aloneanddepressed Established Member

aloneanddepressed

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Yes, this guy I dated. He did experience abandonment issues as a child. His father left them at a very early age. His mom was not there either due to working more than one job. He was raised by other relatives. He was also abused. I know he does have some issues from this trauma as a child. I think he may have had a fear of me leaving him, so maybe he wanted to go ahead and end the relationship himself. Come to think of it, my ex was very clingy at first. He was talking to me nonstop, calling at odd hours, and at one point, I honestly told him he was coming across as too clingy. Maybe that was mean of me to say, but I did. He was scaring me a bit, of course in the end he is no where clingy...he just gets distance and then flat out disappears without a word said. :confused:

 

 

Hello...

 

I have been reading your posts about your ex, and i am also in a similiar situation. My ex has now been ignoring and avoiding me for about 5 months now, and its **** because i see him as we sort of live in the same area.

 

My ex i think, well its pretty obvious he has abandonment issues. His mum abandoned him when he was a baby and his father committed suicide before he was born. Does you ex have any childhood trauma? Get abandoned etc??? How was he when you were together etc??? clingy? etc

 

Me and my ex were doing well, close, though he was very clingy, constantly texting me saying how amazing i was, like every 5 minutes.. i asked for some space as it was doing my head in, and he ignored for around a month. Finally I got him to meet up with me, and he said he adored me, felt the same way, fancied me still but couldnt do it again..

Never quite understood this 'couldn't' do it again but whatever... we said we would be friends, stay in touch, meet up... he pretty much has not spoken to me since that day. He works in my local shop, and if i go in he runs and hides in the back.. if he sees me in the street, he goes the other way, his friends tell me he is scared of seeing me... because he is a freak..

 

All this behavior was and still is too this day very hurtful. There is not a day that goes by that i dont think about it..and what the hell i did so wrong. Its made me ill.

 

You know i hope your ex is just a jerk because if he has got abandonment issues, he will of just been scared of getting close to you, emotionally connecting and so he left you before you left him. People with abandonment issues tend to hurt others before they get hurt first an trust me it totally trashes your mind knowing the only reason you cant be together is because of something he fears, that actually isnt really happening.

 

I hope my ex is a jerk too... but somehow with his history i know he's not, but i really wish he wish.. he gave up on us cos he thought i was going to leave him which was not true. He got scared, and it sucks as there is absolutley nothing i can do to make him see this, until he sees it himself, which he may never, and i also know that he may never ever talk to me again because of those issues..

 

Take Care

x

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