CM2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Hey folks I've posted here before about my marriage: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t183846/ Well its offically over, I kinda had a feeling but I also had that i was hoping for the best. Now that it's over how do I start the rebuilding process. My wife and I haven't lived together since the end of March and it was hard for me to get over that but the 4 months afterwards I got myself together, really worked hard and I was feeling great. Then my wife and I had dinner and talked about our marriage and she said she wants out we spent 6hrs that evening together. I'm going through all the emotions what do I do?
whichwayisup Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 She kind of gave you that last bit of hope by calling and spending time with you. Sorry you're hurting.. Be with your kids, surround yourself with family and good friends to help you through this, as well as posting here.
Author CM2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 She kind of gave you that last bit of hope by calling and spending time with you. Sorry you're hurting.. Be with your kids, surround yourself with family and good friends to help you through this, as well as posting here. Those aren't my kids, they are her's from a different relationship
tojaz Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Not really sure what to tell you, I'm kind of dreading that moment myself, but for me it won't be over until I get the You are no longer married letter.(10 day) Sorry to hear the news. TOJAZ
LisaUk Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Hi, read some o fthe other posts and you will see you are not alone in how you are feeling. Keep posting about how you feel, we are here to listen.
Author CM2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 Not really sure what to tell you, I'm kind of dreading that moment myself, but for me it won't be over until I get the You are no longer married letter.(10 day) Sorry to hear the news. TOJAZ I just feel like im back at square one when we seperated. I was doing fine for 4 months after we seperated, now when I getting myself back together which I don't know how long it will take, but when its finalized I don't wanna go back to square one.
Author CM2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 Hi, read some o fthe other posts and you will see you are not alone in how you are feeling. Keep posting about how you feel, we are here to listen. Thanks you so much!!
whichwayisup Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Sorry CM2009, I kind of forgot some details.. Let the pain come and go, but don't let it take over. Make sure you do get out and enjoy yourself - A fun hobby that you love to do and again, be around family and friends that you trust.
tojaz Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 I know it's hard! Just keep pushing forward and working on yourself. Be ready for either outcome, but it isn't over until it's over for good, or over for you! Tojaz
LisaUk Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Yes, I think probably because you had those 4 months, then the chat, now you feel like it's all hitting you again?
NoseOverTail Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 I'm sorry CM2009. I can't offer any real advice since I'm an emotional wreck right now myself, but I just wanted to let you know that things have to get better. Just take it one day at a time.
Author CM2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 Yes, I think probably because you had those 4 months, then the chat, now you feel like it's all hitting you again? yeah exactly, I was great but a lil hopefull. Expected the worset but hoped for the best. But its like the hurt came back and now I gotta find a way to get back over it, and the bad thing is that we go to the same church which is really gonna make it hard to get by.
LisaUk Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 yeah exactly, I was great but a lil hopefull. Expected the worset but hoped for the best. But its like the hurt came back and now I gotta find a way to get back over it, and the bad thing is that we go to the same church which is really gonna make it hard to get by. It's understandable that you were hoping for the best. When my ex left he said maybe he would change his mind in a few months if he missed me enough. It was driving me crazy, he planted that thought in my mind, in the end I called him and asked how he was feeling about things. Do you know, he didn't even recall saying it! I made up my mind, then and there that I was done (this was 5 weeks ago), I've gone NC completely. I think I just realsied that I had to get on with my life the best way I can. Is it what I want? NO, but what choice do I have? I guess you just have to feel it, start taking one hour at a time again, get through the next hour and so on, build up to one day at a time etc. Come on here, post, let it out. That's all any of us can do really, go out see friends, talk about it, take up new intersets, met new people, just one day at a time.
Author CM2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 It's understandable that you were hoping for the best. When my ex left he said maybe he would change his mind in a few months if he missed me enough. It was driving me crazy, he planted that thought in my mind, in the end I called him and asked how he was feeling about things. Do you know, he didn't even recall saying it! I made up my mind, then and there that I was done (this was 5 weeks ago), I've gone NC completely. I think I just realsied that I had to get on with my life the best way I can. Is it what I want? NO, but what choice do I have? I guess you just have to feel it, start taking one hour at a time again, get through the next hour and so on, build up to one day at a time etc. Come on here, post, let it out. That's all any of us can do really, go out see friends, talk about it, take up new intersets, met new people, just one day at a time. Yeah I was already in the middle of doing things. I have class to take up my nights 8-10, work from 7-3:30. I'm trying to find something else to do in the mean time.
LisaUk Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Yeah I was already in the middle of doing things. I have class to take up my nights 8-10, work from 7-3:30. I'm trying to find something else to do in the mean time. I find coming on here helps a lot.
Gunny376 Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 The first thing you do is throw a party! Someone dumps you! All that means is that you've got to find yourself someone new! Damned the bad luck! Millions if not billions of people out here are married, un-satisfied, un-happy, cheating and you've just been given a 'free pass' to go out and find yourself someone who will appreciate what you've got to offer! Women come! And women go! Ain't no one monkey that makes a show! (Same can be said for women!) You let all the women out there know that your free and available again! What one woman will abuse? Another can certainly use!
TrustInYourself Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 CM, you did it once. Do it again. What has changed? You are wiser and more experienced. As far as her leaving, what a sweet blessing in disguise.
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