bergeron Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 My girlfriend of three months dumped me without any warning in an unbelievably cold way Wednesday. I'm reeling and heartbroken. I'm struggling as to whether or not I should write her an email and I would appreciate some advice. On Sunday everything was fine, she was telling me how much she loved me, and then boom, we had a small fight and it's over. We were fighting because I had driven to see her (45 minute drive) and when I arrived I could tell something was wrong. She was pretty cold, although she did kiss me --- but she wasn't herself. Eventually after a couple of hours I just told her she didn't seem happy that I was there and that I was going to go home. As I was getting dressed, she said: "Just lose my number" At this point I was pissed off and just said "Fine. If in a few days you regret saying this to me and want to call -- don't bother." Then she said "Go back to your girlfriend" (I'm not cheating on her and never would but she has accused me of this a couple of times. I'm not even sure where this latest accusation came from -- maybe because I was late answering my phone the night before. I said "I don't have a girlfriend, and you have issues." I then left. That's the last time we spoke. Some background: I'm 43, she's 29. It's been a volatile relationship -- she tends to shut down when she's upset and refuses to communicate -- and has treated me coldly over things that had nothing to do with our relationship. Early on I was guilty of overreacting and getting too angry on a couple of occasions -- but that hasn't happened since I stopped drinking and started seeing an anger management counselor. (thank-you Vapor) She is beautiful and fun and hilarious -- when things are good I'm really happy. I've met her family and she has met mine. She tells me she loves me. I want her to know how disappointed I am that she could break up with me so arbitrarily -- seemingly on a whim. I also want her to know that I never cheated on her and never would. And if I'm honest with myself, part of me wants my letter to trigger a reconciliation. Any advice would be appreciated.
NopeNah Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 She sounds childish..why do you want that in a relationship? I would not write her at all. That's also a pretty big age gap there..not that I think it really matters on an "equal playing field". I don't see that here however. She seems to have some trust issues. Send the email if you want but, don't expect her to be very concerned with it.
JenniferxO Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I definitely would not write her, you weren't in the wrong. Don't give into her childish behavior! If she wants to talk, then she will. Maybe by that point, you will be past this, and realize you don't deserve to be treated in such a way. By contacting her, for any reason, you're making it seem (to her) like you accept how she's handled things, and are in fact trying to reconcile. I would just give her space, and see how it plays itself out.
Author bergeron Posted July 13, 2009 Author Posted July 13, 2009 they make a lot of sense -- I guess I was just looking for closure -- it's not worth contacting her though.
NopeNah Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 they make a lot of sense -- I guess I was just looking for closure -- it's not worth contacting her though. I've found the best form of closure comes from yourself..well that or seeing your girl in the arms of another..take your pick!
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