OhioConfused Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Been seeing a beautiful girl for past 5 months. Everything was going good up till 2 weeks ago. Every boyfriend she has had as abused her in some way being mental or physical. I know that and would never do that to her. So 2 weeks ago she sends me email saying she always gets guard and puts up wall when she dates a guy at 3 month mark and that she cant control it or know why she does it. I stand by her and tell her that im here for her and only want to make her happy in life. She says she needs space but still wants to talk with me. So we text couple times day for 5 days thats it then she calls me I call her so on. I then go out of town for 5 days and whole time I gone she is sending me I MISS YOU text messeges and naked photos of her saying she cant wait for me to get back to town. When I do get back to town she invites me to stay over at her place for 2 nights where we have great time hanging out talking having sex like everything is back to normal. Then 2 days later she yells at me for not giving her proper space and that I never will give her space and that she doesnt want to date anyone. So I say ok and get up to leave but she asks me to stay, so is stay for 2 extra hours and we just talk about life and everything else but our relationship. Finnally after 2 hours I tell her I got to go home she then runs to me and hugs me then runs to her room. Havent talked to her since and its been 3 days. Is it over?Does she need space?Is she confused cause every other guy has treated her like ****? Im so confused on what to do. Does she like me or not. Does she just need time to think about us? No clue and im so lost what does she want and what do I do. She says she likes me and enjoys being with me and that im nicest guy she has ever been with.
Girlygal Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 She sounds self destructive. Or as my mom called it "Self fullfilling prophicices". If a person feels like something bad could/should happen to them they engage in destructive behavior in order to cause that bad thing to happen. There by fullfilling the prophicy that something could/should happen. Counseling is the only way i know to end this kind of behavior.
Girlygal Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 BTW i should have added, i dont think that this kind of behavior is caused by the person they are with, it is caused by themselves and typically cannot be controlled ie her 3 month wall. But be prepared for a bumpy ride. If this is something she is truly suffereing from there can be some major "breakdowns" over the next few weeks.
Author OhioConfused Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 We both come from rough upbringing and I understand that. She is just sending so many mixed signals Im confused. When she said she didnt want a boyfriend why didnt she let me leave why sit and talk to me in her kitchen for 2 extra hours about nothing. Why hug me like that when I finnally do leave. I feel if she wants nothing to do with me she would have let me leave first time. Do I fight for her?Does she want me but is confused?im so lost here.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I could go into depth about the specifics of what I think she has, etc., but it's REALLY just easier to say stay away from her. Bad upbringing = many problems. Abused by past relationships? Even worse. You will suffer for her demons. YOU WILL SUFFER HARD. That's all you can fight for. That's all you'll get. Her demons.
Author OhioConfused Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 So she called me yesterday and we talked about nothing really for 30 mins and got off phone to go back to work. She then text messege 2 times after we talked. So I asked her why she was contacting me and she blew up said I told her I will always be here for her and we could work as friends. I meant it when i said it just didnt expect it in 3 days after break up. We fought back and forth all night to no result. Its getting more confusing everyday. What does she want?
Exit Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 This is why the being friends thing will not work. You both need to have time apart.
Girlygal Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 i think Thomas put it very well. You are fighting her demons. And they are hers to fight. You need to go NC (i know Thomas the book of LS.....NC) But in this situation i think it is going to be damaging to you to stay involved in this. When SHE is ready to work on her problems she will
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