iand Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 After a year and 1/2 of fun, living together and loving each other our relationship ended abruptly in just two weeks after she was arrested and charged with domestic assault. The victim - me? A gentle and soft person at home she changed socially on the weekends when she drank heavily when among friends reaching reaching a certain level at which point she became arrogant, rude, agressive and somebody that nobody wanted to be around... After her best friend asked me at a party if i knew about her "dark secret" (was told she was schzophrenic), it raised my curiosity and i asked her about it. Wrong idea!!!! She flipped and our first real arguement ensued. Four days later, heavily intoxicated again became agressive and began insulting me..talking trashy and included our guest who was present...i suggested it was time to close the night down, stood up, flicked water at her from my fingers and told her "you're drunk - it's time to go home"...wrong again...she lashed out, fists clenched, striking me in the face...with her hands around my neck i grabbed our knapsack, her house keys and left... At 5am police called and asked me to make a statement at the division..following a 1 hour interrogation i was told she had been arested and was being charged with assault....bail restricted her from living, seeng or communicating with me..it's been 8 months. I worked hard...paid $3000+ for expenses we incurred together back to her..$3000 on a lawyer to advise me....countless meetings with crown attorney and police and her lawyer cutting a deal satisfactory to all parties..she has to do anger and alcohol counselling and a peace bond..within days all charges will be dropped and no criminal record...finally i am paying her legal bills of $8000. She's made no attempt to communicate with me respecting her bail but asks close friends about me often but won't respond to their questions about reconcilliation. All and i mean all of her belongings remain in the house despite a written request in December to remove them if she's not interested in reconcilliation? Everyhting remains? Anyone have ideas on what her strategy is? Why is everything she owns still here if she doesn't want reconclliation? Why the questions to friends about "is he dating?"..whats he doing?? etc. Is this a woman who simply not ready to let go and taking her time to decide? Is she playing me like a fool and using me..laughing while i spend the money and rescue her from her actions... Thoughts are appreciated and sorry for such a long preamble..sometimes it helps just writing it out?
TaraMaiden Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 Her strategy is entirely irrelevant. Yours should be to get on with your life and leave this behind like a bad dream. Send her a letter through your solicitor stating that unless she arranges to have her belongings picked up, you will dispose of everything. Then follow it through. Also, sue her for expenses incurred, if you can. If you don't care about the money, then that's your choice.... Don't even think about a reconciliation. Cut her out of your life. And move on. Seriously. This is far too much like hard work.
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