tinklebell Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 How do you get over a crush when you know nothing can come out of it? I understand that this is probably not as serious as some other issues/threads discussed but it's been bothering me, so I'm hoping to get some advice here. I'm trying to get over a crush but it seems not quite as easy as I thought (given that it's not a long-term relationship or even a relationship to begin with). Has anyone experienced something similar? What do you do to get over it?
carhill Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 A clear recitation of the truth along with no contact has nearly always worked for me. IOW, have a crush on someone, ask them out, find out they're married/involved/not interested and then not have contact for awhile. Crush goes away. IMO, this is why it's better to pursue the crush (in a polite manner) and go through the process rather than playing "friends" and/or leaving the crush to become an unrequited love. For most people, and this is one instance I would say women have it a bit easier, someone else comes along who elicits similar feelings and the prior crush is forgotten. The more people one is exposed to, the less likely a crush will retain any significance.
dreamergrl Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 If you're looking to date, why not try going out with another guy, and put your dating energy into someone else.
IcemanJB Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 As always, carhill nailed it. Try not to contact him, and start meeting other people.
Author tinklebell Posted May 12, 2009 Author Posted May 12, 2009 I won't contact him anymore and haven't. Dating others hasn't really helped since he's still at the back of my mind. I hate feeling this way. Maybe I just have to wait for time to heal.
loser101 Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 I'm with carhill on this one. The best way to get someone from the back of your mind is to go through the motions. Yes that requires a certain kind of determination and the acceptance that you set yourself up for some humility but that's small price to pay for a peace of mind. Nowdays whether I have a crush on someone or I date someone, I take it as far as I can and if it doesn't work out then at least I can put that baby to sleep knowing I will stop wondering about 'what if'
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