SummerLady Posted April 19, 2009 Posted April 19, 2009 Ok, here it goes. Me and my ex boyfriend broke up 10 years ago. He broke up with me and moved away. He was homesick and wanted to be back with his friends and family and was far from home. I do understand this but I was devastated. I did take it really hard and really thought we were meant to be. He called me 1 year later after moving to get me back and I was so angry that he dumped me to begin with I would not take him back, looking back that was immature but I was still so very angry and hurt as I really loved him and could not believe he just left like no big deal. I went on 1 year later and got married to someone else and he got married to someone else 2 years later. I come to find out through the grapevine he was divorced in 2008 and I divorced in 2008 as well. We were talking on email and sometimes on the phone, he has kids and I have kids. We made potential plans to meet up but he always seems to have an excuse when it comes time to make concrete plans. When I asked him point blank, if you don't want to meet up I understand, we can pass on all of this, he insisted that he was dying to see me but wanted to wait until things got under control with his new living arrangements and such. I know I am newly divorced and so is he but I am just so frustrated that we have not seen each other as of yet. I know its been a hectic 2 past years for the two of us but I am ready to see if this realtionship is worth going back to and I think he is either scared or not interested. Not sure which. I asked him 3 times if he wanted to skip all of this and he said no way, he can't wait to see me. I do not know what to do at this point. Should I readdress this or just forget about it. I am so hurt and confused, don't know what to do. I am 42 and he is 45. Thoughts????
LovesHangover Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 SummerLady, You care enough to make this inquiry, therefore, it is worth it to bring it up again because it is important to you. It is better to know and obtain clarity than to stay confused. Love shouldn't be as rare as it is. Let him know exactly how you feel and what you want. Find out what's up with him and what he wants. Deal with what you get. It's that simple. In your question you said something about maturity. Mature people are solution focused: Find out what you're dealing with and deal, honey. Best of luck to you, LovesHangover
miss_28 Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 In your question you said something about maturity. Mature people are solution focused: Find out what you're dealing with and deal, honey. This has to be the best definition I've ever read for maturity. Great post hangover!
Author SummerLady Posted April 22, 2009 Author Posted April 22, 2009 SummerLady, You care enough to make this inquiry, therefore, it is worth it to bring it up again because it is important to you. It is better to know and obtain clarity than to stay confused. Love shouldn't be as rare as it is. Let him know exactly how you feel and what you want. Find out what's up with him and what he wants. Deal with what you get. It's that simple. In your question you said something about maturity. Mature people are solution focused: Find out what you're dealing with and deal, honey. Best of luck to you, LovesHangover I agree with you. After addressing this the 3 times I have, I have come to the conclusion that he does not know what he wants. He is still reeling from his divorce and new situation. I am much further along then him in this process. I have accepted this since I posted this question and started No Contact. He knows how I feel. He knows how to reach me. If and when he wants to revisit this relationship I am here. I have to give him space and this is so hard to do. If its meant to be it will happen. At this time I have done all I can do. That maturity quote is awesome. I do understand that I may never get what I want here but that is the fact. Only time will tell.
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