Ex question: What does this mean and why wouldn't he just say it?

[griffy]

So my ex started contacting me in Dec. after 6 months of almost NC and wanted to hang out. I figured, sure, enough time has passed since the breakup, so no big deal. Unfortunately, I ended up realizing I still had feelings for him.

 

We would hang out every now and then, maybe once a week. We never had a relationship discussion. I spent the night at his house maybe five times, and only one of these times was there any physical contact. I thought we were taking things slowly and seeing if we enjoyed being together and could get along. Then I saw him out with another girl one night and exploded (later, not in front of the girl! We texted that night and he let me know he was at home alone, but I was still hurt.)

 

Several days later I demanded he tell me why he contacted me in Dec. He had a really hard time answering this and finally replied that he was just being friendly. What the heck does that mean?

 

I then asked him to tell me that we would never be together, ever. He refused to do this. I know I shouldn't have to hear him say that to know it's over. I know I need to say this to myself. But, if any of my exes (other than this one) asked me to say this, I'd say it instantly, adding in a few extra nevers and evers just so there be no confusion. Why wouldn't he just say it? (I know I should be asking myself why I need to hear it. It just seemed like something easy he could do to clarify the situation for me. I know I'm giving him too much control...)

[northstar1]

So my ex started contacting me in Dec. after 6 months of almost NC and wanted to hang out. I figured, sure, enough time has passed since the breakup, so no big deal. Unfortunately, I ended up realizing I still had feelings for him.

 

We would hang out every now and then, maybe once a week. We never had a relationship discussion. I spent the night at his house maybe five times, and only one of these times was there any physical contact. I thought we were taking things slowly and seeing if we enjoyed being together and could get along. Then I saw him out with another girl one night and exploded (later, not in front of the girl! We texted that night and he let me know he was at home alone, but I was still hurt.)

 

Several days later I demanded he tell me why he contacted me in Dec. He had a really hard time answering this and finally replied that he was just being friendly. What the heck does that mean?

 

I then asked him to tell me that we would never be together, ever. He refused to do this. I know I shouldn't have to hear him say that to know it's over. I know I need to say this to myself. But, if any of my exes (other than this one) asked me to say this, I'd say it instantly, adding in a few extra nevers and evers just so there be no confusion. Why wouldn't he just say it? (I know I should be asking myself why I need to hear it. It just seemed like something easy he could do to clarify the situation for me. I know I'm giving him too much control...)

 

He still likes the attention you are giving him, but he won't put a label on anything, because he still wants the freedom to date other girls.

 

You deserve better. I'd go back to NC. Unless he's coming to the table with "I made a mistake, I want you back, can we try again", then anything else is just not worth your time or emotional energy.

[Beautiful Inside]

So my ex started contacting me in Dec. after 6 months of almost NC and wanted to hang out. I figured, sure, enough time has passed since the breakup, so no big deal. Unfortunately, I ended up realizing I still had feelings for him.

 

We would hang out every now and then, maybe once a week. We never had a relationship discussion. I spent the night at his house maybe five times, and only one of these times was there any physical contact. I thought we were taking things slowly and seeing if we enjoyed being together and could get along. Then I saw him out with another girl one night and exploded (later, not in front of the girl! We texted that night and he let me know he was at home alone, but I was still hurt.)

 

Several days later I demanded he tell me why he contacted me in Dec. He had a really hard time answering this and finally replied that he was just being friendly. What the heck does that mean?

 

I then asked him to tell me that we would never be together, ever. He refused to do this. I know I shouldn't have to hear him say that to know it's over. I know I need to say this to myself. But, if any of my exes (other than this one) asked me to say this, I'd say it instantly, adding in a few extra nevers and evers just so there be no confusion. Why wouldn't he just say it? (I know I should be asking myself why I need to hear it. It just seemed like something easy he could do to clarify the situation for me. I know I'm giving him too much control...)

 

i think he really loved you at one point cause obviously he really cares about you to where he doesn't want to hurt you cause he cant come out and say that. I think he contacted you again cause like i always say guys are ****in selfish they cant stand the fact to c and ex gf move on they rather have them still believe that there could be a chance one day of getting back together so they find ways to still b in your life and make you believe there might be that small possibility so you wont ever move on. Dont get me wrong girls can be guilty of the same sillyness but ive delt with plenty of guys that dont ever want t let go completely that way they dont have do deal with the hurt of seeing and ex move on with someone else. its like they want to keep you around as like a backup.....you got to cut off all communication in cases like these when you know its over and especially if hes already out with another girl...you know