damn Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 I'm young and my guy is older, MUCH Older than me...We're on rocky stages and we're trying to work it out. He likes for me to come up 2 his job, but everytime i do, some guy is always trying to flirt with me. and they're cute guys too. I don't go out with anyone or anything, I'm used to attention, but i think my guy cant handle it. He works in the fitness business, and theres women at the gym everyday when i'm not there and even when i'm there. but it doesnt bother me. I'm not worried. I don't even wear tight clothing to his job jus becuz of the guys. Like it's that bad. He's jus simply jealous and insecure. I even brought a GAY guy friend up there who also has a membership to workout and he tripped off of him....Then when we talk he's always sayin things like, Jus back off, That we really don't have anything to talk about...and he called me "insistent". I know he has feelings, other wise he wouldnt give a damn who i talked 2 or vise versa... He wouldnt complain about how long i'm in the gym either. He always wants me to stay i can go in there for like a hour he'll be like your leaving already, I try to beat rush hour traffic, he'll tell me i aint gone make it i shud jus stay. ( like hes confusing). he's just so quick to jump to conclusions, and always trys to flip things on me like its my fault. Thats that guard he has up. But lately when he gives me that (okay do me speech) I say okay like I agree with him, cuz i'm tired of trying to prove to him how much i care and love him. Like I done went thru the fire with this man. I think theres a trust issue here????HELP!!!
Geishawhelk Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 You've posted two other threads on this same topic, virtually, and never received replies to either. Without wishing to appear cruel or mean, your style of writing makes you seem a little immature. I think maybe that's part of the reason nobody replied. It was hard to figure out what you want.... But if he's that much older than you, he seems to be more of a father figure than a boyfriend. he's jealous and possessive. Now, if he knows he's like this, and he acknowledges it's a problem, and he thinks it would be a good idea to have counselling or therapy - that would be a good thing. if on the other hand he doesn't see or even think he has a problem - maybe it's never even crossed his mind - then, I would take a long walk in an opposite direction, because he won't change. Hr rather he will. But never, for the better. It's going to get worse. Jealous control always does. Because he is so much older than you, he is also unlikely to respect your opinion. He will dismiss your fears, anxieties and reservations as the mere flights of fancy of a young and inexperienced girl. I don't see a great deal of happiness here, for you. I'm afraid I'd end it.
Author damn Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 apologize for the last posts....I understand where you're coming from. I Don't think he'll change. He wasnt always like this. Last year he was diagonised with Prostate Cancer...and it's been like this ever since.
Geishawhelk Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Well in that case, you have to evaluate why you're still here. Because, if you're in this because you feel sorry for him - it's the wrong reason. Cancer is a dreadful thing: It changes your life completely, and obviously can kill you - so it's little wonder people are affected mentally, as well as physically by their illness. And it has effect on their close loved ones too. So the problem you have is to decide whether to stay, or go. And if you stay, to decide whether you're staying because you love him, or because you feel sorry for him.
Author damn Posted February 20, 2009 Author Posted February 20, 2009 ...i love him....i'm jus gonna take things slower...thanx again for all ur help it's appreciated
Recommended Posts