Harassment complaint

[coolindian27]

I work for an IT consultant company and I was contracting for one of the top retail companies in Dallas, TX.

At work, I got acquainted with a woman through a few meetings. During the initial few meetings, we were talking only about official stuff. In another meeting, another coworker who was supposed to join the meeting was late. I was just sitting quietly. I usually don't talk much unless the other person starts the conversation first. I can talk casually provided the other person is not mean or sarcastic and I get comfortable with that person.

 

She just started the conversation by asking how long I had been working there. Then she said "I got married, moved to San Antonio, my husband was in military, he just came back, he doesn't have a job" which I didn't ask.

Slowly, we started talking about a lot of unofficial things -like buying a new car, relocating a house etc. We used to talk about what we do over the weekend. She used to come to work at the same time as me and almost leave at the same time as me. So, we have met a few times in the garage. Being a friendly face, if I see her, I would say hi and talk to her.

 

We have talked about several things like getting a new job, getting a green card, buying a house, how marriages work in other side of the world, movies, olympic games etc. I considered her as a good friend. If I need some official help I would go and ask her and I have helped her for official stuff at times.

 

Once I invited her for my birthday lunch. I usually have my lunch alone. Just for one day, I just thought I would have it with someone. I wasn't sure if I would be working there for my next birthday. Also, I invited another coworker who was a close friend of hers. Usually, when employees go to the restaurant, they ride together in the same car. For some reason, she and her friend went together and they told me that they would meet me at the restaurant.

 

Her friend said she had some errands to run after the lunch. After the lunch, I asked her whether she had any errand. She said no. First she said she had some errands but later, she said she had none. So, I was just curious to know the reason and after going back to work, I asked her why I was left out. She then said that she thought I didn't want to ride together with them and some other lame reasons.

 

At work, we used to have Windows messenger. I had her id in my buddy list. A couple of days after my b'day, she blocked me on messenger. I was just curious to know the reason. She denied that she didn't block me. A few days later, all of a sudden my manager told me that he wasn't satisfied with my job performance and he is releasing me from the project two weeks later. He sent out an email stating that I was "reassigned".

 

A week later, I was asked not to enter the client company building. I was told that she filed a harassment complaint against me stating that I had been following her. I was taken aback. The person who I thought of as a good friend filed a harassment complaint against me. She never told me that she was uncomfortable with me.

 

She has told me that "Her husband doesn't have a job, wasn't making good money as a teacher, her husband spends a lot of money on cars, she spends money on shopping at malls, she is in a contract position, won't get paid if she takes leaves, trying to have kids, has complications, spends money for hospital". I suspect she would have done this for money. Because of this complaint, I have had a lot of problems so far with my consultant company.

 

They are desperately trying to avoid the lawsuit I guess and due to some reasons they are not able to terminate me either but, they are trying to give me trouble (really bad) in indirect ways to make me resign the job myself. A person whom I trusted as a good friend really hurted my feelings. To rub salt in my wounds, my company also gives me trouble. I won't resign my job because I feel I haven't done anything wrong.

[stillafool]

That's terrible. That's why I don't discuss personal business with co-workers, especially of the opposite sex. I keep my personal business and feeling to myself. I don't believe in office romance at all (not that you were involved with her like that). If I were you I would talk to an attorney about your rights and let your company know you have had to obtain one because of this bogus complaint and reassignment. Did you ask them what specifically the woman said you did?

[All Star]

Something else is up. They have to have notified you of what the accusations are exactly. That's the law. What did they tell you she said exactly? It was not just that you were following her. That's not sexual harassment and you would have just been warned to stop. The laws and proceedures on this are clear.

[coolindian27]

They didn't give me a copy of the complaint. The HR manager asked me some questions based on that complaint.

1. What time do you come to work and leave work? How often have you seen her in garage? Were you following her? - Crazy

2. She once went to fitness center. She saw you leaving to garage. But later on when she came back from fitness center after working out for 45 minutes, you were still in the garage. Why? - Absolutely crazy. How do I know she was in fitness center?

3. Her cube is next to the stairs. When you go up the stairs, you always look at her cube. Why? - Ridiculous

It looks like as per the law, they are not required to give the copy of the complaint. I consulted some lawyers. They told me that since I don't have a permanent work permit, I won't be able to do much and Texas being an at-will employment state, the employer can fire anyone without asking the reason

By the way, I had been in Dallas only for 8 months. I live by myself and I don't have too many friends out there. Its difficult to find someone to talk after work. I usually talk only to people at work.

She has told me that she is trying to have kids, she has complications and going to the doctor. She also asked me whether I would like to have kids or not in future.

[coolindian27]

I didn't realize that there would be such drama queens at work.

[Walk]

This might be good for you to read. It talks about how a person could prove harrassment. http://www.letswrap.com/legal/harass.htm So, then you have to ask yourself... does this woman have a list of calls you made to her? Does she have gifts she kept that you gave her? Does she have IMs that are frequent or harrassing? Did she call the police when you were allegedly "stalking" her?

 

Also read this page: http://www.eeoc.gov/types/harassment.html

 

I would make sure that a harrasment charge has actually been filed by her at your company. I'd also find if she's claiming it's a sexual harrasment, or just harrasment. Get a copy of the policy your company has for work place harrasment. Read it thoroughly.

 

Also, check if she's filed a harrassment charge against you with the police.

 

If this woman hasn't filed anything officially, then there's no basis for them to force you from your position. At that point you have the right to file for discrimination and hostile work environment. It almost sounds to me as though your company is attempting to prevent a harrassment charge from being filed, but that it hasn't occured yet.

 

Call the Department of Labor and talk to them about EEO laws to help you protect your job. Visit their website: http://www.dol.gov/dol/topic/discrimination/index.htm

 

 

At this point, you need to research to death everything you can on harrassment and what your rights are. No one is going to fight this for you (unless you pay them too ) so you're going to have to know your rights forward and backward. If you believe you've done nothing wrong, then stick to your guns and fight it. The only way to win is to know your rights like the back of your hand.

[coolindian27]

After 2 months, after mentally torturing me, I was given two options - Termination or Resignation.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Get a lawyer CI.

[whichwayisup]

Not only get a lawyer, get a PI to do some investigating about this woman. She's a wackjob and chances are, she's done this before to other men (or possibly women too).

 

You have nothing to hide, it sounds like you've didn't do anything wrong, except cross paths with the wrong lady.

[signedin2008]

I have some questions for you:

 

1) What were you expecting out of that relationship initially? Were you in anyway romantically interested in her?

 

2) Is she Indian? If so, mabye there is a very conservative culture that you, although Indian, are unaware of.

 

3) What exactly did you do or say to her to make her so scared of you?

 

Is it possible that she's in it for the money? Yes. But, is it likely? No.

 

You've also stated that she did not sue the company for money. Maybe whatever that you said, done, or however that you did it, creeped her out.

[coolindian27]

1) What were you expecting out of that relationship initially? Were you in anyway romantically interested in her?

There were no expectations. Nope.

 

2) Is she Indian? If so, mabye there is a very conservative culture that you, although Indian, are unaware of.

No. She is white.

 

3) What exactly did you do or say to her to make her so scared of you?

Nothing. She was talking to me casually until the last day I met her

 

Is it possible that she's in it for the money? Yes. But, is it likely? No.

You've also stated that she did not sue the company for money.

I didn't say that. It is quite possible that she did it for money. Otherwise, they wouldn't have fired me

 

Maybe whatever that you said, done, or however that you did it, creeped her out.

I have never done or spoken anything inappropriate to her.

[signedin2008]

There is something in this story that's missing. Maybe it's a cultural difference thing, maybe you're creepy and just don't know it, maybe she is mental.

[coolindian27]

There is something in this story that's missing. Maybe it's a cultural difference thing, maybe you're creepy and just don't know it, maybe she is mental.

I have summarized everything. Not that I'm creepy and it's not cultural difference. It looks like she tried to set me up for making some money. She greeted me and talking to me casually in the morning on the last day I saw her at work.

[Green]

I knew a guy once who sexualy harrased a girl at a major retailer and they basicaly warned him, he stopped and nothing else happened. It doesn't sound like your actually getting fired and this may just blow over... sounds like your more hurt then anything. Seriously alot of women have no balls (figurativly all women are balless literally) what I mean is they will talk to you and be friendly while at the same time calling you a creep to their friends and wondering why you didn't pick up on their little cues to leave them alone... Seriously I wouldn't recomend you befriending married women at work. Good luck dude maybe you should look for another job I wouldn't recomend getting a lawyer or any of those otherthings but you should look into the statue of limitations and realize that im just giving you my opinion not legal advice

[coolindian27]

I knew a guy once who sexualy harrased a girl at a major retailer and they basicaly warned him, he stopped and nothing else happened.

Which retailer? I was also working for a major retailer. They didn't give me warning of any kind and I was literally kicked out of the building probably because, I was a subcontractor and not an US citizen.

It doesn't sound like your actually getting fired and this may just blow over... sounds like your more hurt then anything.

Well I was forced to resign...

Seriously alot of women have no balls (figurativly all women are balless literally) what I mean is they will talk to you and be friendly while at the same time calling you a creep to their friends and wondering why you didn't pick up on their little cues to leave them alone...

Do women ruin someone's career just because they don't like to talk to someone? Well... she was the one who started the conversations initially. I don't usually talk to a lot of people. Someone in another forum said - "If a person is not good looking and doesn't have loads of money, whatever that person does will be considered a harassment". That doesn't mean she is gorgeous. She looks older for her age.

I lost my job, reputation. My company being an Asian company kicked me out of US. They gave me the ticket and asked me to leave US in 24 hours as it is easier to kick me out of the job in my home country. I incurred heavy monetary loss because of that.

[coolindian27]

Anyways, I am glad I am not the only guy to experience this.

Read this: http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts5052337.aspx . Some women are really heartless:sick: