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Posted

http://cincinnati.craigslist.org/cas/762294375.html

 

Are you the ONE?? - m4w

 

Reply to: pers-762294375@craigslist.org

Date: 2008-07-20, 10:10AM EDT

 

 

Looking for a compassionate female, one that will lie to me at the drop of a hat, and one that will let me spend money on her without thanking me. I also enjoy my dream girl calling and texting me at all hours of the night, and especially love one that will not answer her phone or her pages. If you have serious mental problems and cannot remember what you told me the day before, then I think we might be a great fit. Also at the top of my list are women that explain to me on the first date the problems they have with their current boyfriend or husband, it also helps if they constantly page and/or call you while we are together.

 

To clarify exactly who I am looking for and to see if you meet my high standards you

should possess all of the following quality traits:

 

You Should be evasive in any answer given. Telling the truth in any manner would simply be wrong.

 

If you have something else you would rather do than be with me, you should be willing to invent a crisis on the spot. Stringing this crisis out over a period of months is essential to our relationship.

 

If we are out in public it is essential that you act like I am not there. This is called building trust. This is accomplished by you staring at each and every male as if I am not there. Getting these strangers to stare or talk to you for long periods of time is also very desireable. It is also helpful if you exchange phone numbers while I am absent for a few moments.

 

It also helps our relationship if from time to time you send me text messages meant for someone else. The most useful and interesting are where you are arranging a meeting with some other male naming place and time. When I ask you about these messages you should either totally deny sending it at all or say it was meant for a close friend or relative. It should also be a time that you have specifically stated to me that your are unavailable for a totally different reason.

 

Love making is also an integral part of our complete relationship. if you become bored, you should simply stop whatever we are doing, get up, and walk away, or better yet, roll over and pass out. If you totally suck in bed, and I tell you that you are great, you should believe me and decide to take your skills elsewhere. This is understandable, and you should constantly tell me you love me while you are sleeping with these other men. Once again to reiterate, I appreciate from time to time receiving those texts meant for them. The occasional phone call from them, hanging up, is also appreciated.

 

If I constantly work on building your self-esteem, you should help me with mine. This is accomplished by lying constantly. One lie should be followed by another almost non-stop. If you should slip and tell me the truth, don't worry, my ego can handle the pain. If I should now and then decide to question you on anything you have told me, you should call me crazy, paranoid, or just out to get you.

 

If our love starts to overwhelm me and I start looking for a way out, you should remind me how special you are to me. You should then act normal for a period of time not exceeding 24 hours. After this period of time you should revert to your former self to remind me of the strength of our relationship.

 

If I should ever make the mistake of leaving you, and feel bad about it, and call you, you should accuse me of wanting only sex and of using you. You should do this subtly without reminding me we have only had sex once in the last 4 weeks. You should then once again act normal for period of time not exceeding 24 hours.

 

While this list is not complete it should help to showcase what I would term a dream girl. One could only hope to have someone so charming and wonderful. If it happens to you once in a lifetime you should consider yourself lucky. If it happens to you twice you are undoubtly blessed. I understand that the majority of women in this world will not qualify to be "the one" and I hope that they are not offended by the fact that very few people can rise to such a level of class and dignity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 

PostingID: 762294375

Posted

LOL thanks for that find.

Posted

So funny. I just posted about my husband looking at women on craiglist. See the post "Husband looking at dating sites."

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