WiseOne1 Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Me and the Ex were best friends for 4 years before we started to date. We dated 1 year and 2 months. She broke up with me 4 months ago because she said she didn’t love me anymore and didn’t feel like we should be together because all we do is argue. She always did stuff that she knew would piss me off, and 9 months ago her EX BF came back and she acted like she was all in love with him again. And broke up with me because she said she didn’t know what she wanted anymore. She then got back with me saying that she choose me over him, but I believe that he took off again. I did everything for her, she always complained that no other guy never got her a Valentines Day Gift, so I was the first to get her a Valentines Day Gift. I even helped her pay bills, because all she would do is sit there and cry and talk about committing suicide "she’s blames it on her being bi-polar" I was put 2nd best all the time, she would always pick her friends over me and that 1 time picking her ex bf over me. So I tried being her friend for the last 4 months since we originally started out being friends, Big Mistake!!!!! She started to tell me about her and her new BF like I was one of her female friends. I been doing NC for the last 2 days, and I could care less about her, and also I feel that I spent to much time on someone that doesn’t deserve it, when I could be giving it to someone that does deserve it. She strongly believes that we should still be friends, but I refuse to be a fool, she treated me like **** the whole year we were together. You Don’t Treat someone you love and consider as a friend like that!!!!! I hate her guts really, I don’t want her back nor do I ever want to talk to her again in life! I sit back and think about how bad she treated me and all my love for her transformed into Hate. She claims that we still have something special, and that I was the best bf that she ever had, but it doesn’t show, because actions speak louder than words. So what am I Feeling? I have a sad feeling in my stomach Is it that I still love her? Is it that I want to be her friend, but I refuse to be? Is it that I talked to her for the last 5 years str8 and never missed talking to her more than a day?
Nevermind Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Only you know what you truly feel. Being best friends/in love with someone for 5 years has formed a very deep bond, that is hard to overcome. She has been using you, she shows no consideration for your feelings and acts very selfish. Do you really want somebody like this in your life? Imho, you're hurt because she treated you badly, because you lost a friend and a SO in the same person and because you are used to her company. Try to be your own best friend, treat yourself greatly and try to forget her. Cut her out of your life. You do deserve much better than this.
Author WiseOne1 Posted July 21, 2008 Author Posted July 21, 2008 Yea, well I dont need her, nor do I ever want to speak with her again. I just wanna say in the words of John Cena "Da Champ Is Here". I just really dont know what im feeling, i dont know if im missing her as a friend, or is it me still in love with her? And regardless if she cheated with me 6 times on her current bf doesnt matter. But I think your right NeverMind. Maybe its a ego or self esteem think, or maybe im feeling rejection.
bunny25k Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 sometimes it might feel like you have done everything for the other person yet not enough. b/c it's not all about the things you do. it's also about the things she does. in which just makes you angry. and you can't ask anyone to change who they are. then the arguing starts. who wants to live life arguing everyday? maybe you two are just incompatible as BF/GF. only do things for others in which you can expect nothing in return then you wont feel used. i think you might feel sad b/c things did not turn out the way you hoped and you had to find some things out about your best friend that you did not like. find a gf that is more suitable for you.
Author WiseOne1 Posted July 21, 2008 Author Posted July 21, 2008 Well the argueing started due to her ex coming into the relationship, you have every right to be pissed off about something like that, especcially if your bf/gf are allowing this person to ruin everything. She even admitted the whole argument thing was her fault, and I got tired of being 2nd place. It doesnt matter, I never lose, rather it be educationally, finicially, technically, mentally, or romantically. Im just a winner like that. I think I feel bad because I wasted a precious 1 year of my life on someone that wasnt about ****, when I could have been spending it on someone who deserved it. People always say that every relationship is a learning experience, not this one, theres a first time for everything.
bunny25k Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 never meant to blame you for the arguments. just having to argue in general sucks. it's funny how she admits the arguments are her fault yet that is also the reason why she doesn't want to be together with you. she obviously does not deserve you to put her #1 while she chose to put you #2. you are right, don't settle for 2nd. i wouldn't, i'm also a winner like that:)
Author WiseOne1 Posted July 22, 2008 Author Posted July 22, 2008 But guys I have a really diffrent feeling about her, I feel that the only way I can get over her is to be her friend, normally I recommend NC, but im a diffrent guy, I know from my first love experience along time ago. She has to do something to piss me off or something to make me fall out of love with her, and she hasnt did it yet, like my last ex was once she slept with another guy it was all great and i was sooooooo happy and I was 100% over her from that point on. I feel that I must stay friends with my ex until she does something that forces me not to love her anymore. What do you guys think of this? Dont knock my plan, but I know myself sooo good that I would try to find out bad stuff about my older ex, and once I got something bad enuff I fell out of love with her and I was even willing to be her friend, I had no feelings what so ever! I been doing NC for 4 days now and im not budging, right now im 60% over her I just need a little push. So what do you guys think?
Author WiseOne1 Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 Well guys i figuired it out, the only way im gonna get over her is to wait until she does something I dont like. I begged her to tell me if she likes or loves him more than me and she wouldnt answer, I think she kinda knew I wanted to hear that answer because I would move on so quickly. She refused to answer that question, she always use to say that I was just waiting for her to fk up, and shes right in away. I know its weird as hell, but thats what I had to do to get over my past ex, and I feel that Nc with this one will only end up keeping me love her longer.
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